I am a grad student about to finish. I am marreid from last 3 years. I met this guy is school, we became friends and everything was fine. I was being helpful to him and I am helpful to all my friends!! And now this guy seems to have some feelings towards me...he said he loved me!!!
I was shattered and dissappointed because all along i thought i had found another good friend! And how could he say something like that despite knowing i am married!! What should i tell him....now i feel so uncomfortable even talking to him!!! Gosh guys always spoil a good friendship.
P.S: I never flirtied with him. I have all along treated him like a good friend and thats it!!!
2007-02-23 05:56:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That was "I love u" in a romantic way. He had earlier even indicated he wanted to do "it" with me!!! and i thought he was just joking!!
But this time he appeared serious!!
2007-02-23 06:06:21 · update #1
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
2007-02-23 06:04:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reason you're disappointed is because you know you HAVE to break off the friendship with this guy...which is the right thing to do. When guys get a crush on a woman, it NEVER goes away as long as you're around him...EVER...especially if she's married because it adds to the "conquest." The longer you're around him, the stronger his feelings will become and trust me, he WILL pursue you...married or not. I don't know why but I believe you when you say you've never flirted with him...I usually don't but you seem genuinely disappointed that he came onto you and that usually indicates that you honestly didn't lead him on.
If you love your husband and you want to stay married (happily without him asking you every so often "so what's up with you and [guy's name]?" and fighting about it all the time), get out now. It's the right thing to do and good for you because you know it is.
2007-02-23 06:15:08 · answer #2 · answered by Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants to sleep with you! I doubt if he loves you! Seems like He is a player...u better beware!! You better either stop or reduce talking to him. He will continue to pursue you unless u guys just stop seeing each other. Do not ever meet him in person alone!! which is a big NO NO! am sure you would definetly chose your husbands love over this guys friendship!! Just be careful you dont stumble!
2007-02-24 20:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by Someday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice is yours. Do you want to stay close to this guy or do you want to save your marriage! He's got feelings for you that you don't reciprocate. Put a lot of distance between you and this guy. He changed the "rules", he crossed the line.
2007-02-23 06:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by janice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably loves you like a friend like he would love his sister don't put anything more into it, unless he tries something then you have a right to tell him that you no longer can help him or see him.
2007-02-23 06:03:07 · answer #5 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh men.... don't you love em.... always pushing the envelope... you are married.... you are safe.... of course he wnats to sleep with you ....say no, laugh and thank him for the flattering comment.... move on.... its all in what you make it mean about you... if you make it mean you did something wrong because he likes you then you put yourself in this self defeating vortex.... if you make it mean that he's attracted to you and you get to say 'no and thanks for the attention' then thing are fine.... don't punish yourself because he asked, and you said no.... nature made us that way... men pursue, women get to say yes or no. G
2007-02-23 06:13:14 · answer #6 · answered by Gaye 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you're uncomfortable with the situation, and would rather take a break from the "friendship". I would be uncomfortable, too; there's nothing wrong with it.
2007-02-23 06:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This the perfect example of why men and women can't be friends unless there is not attraction. Men are horny bastards, and mistake kindness for affection. Very simply, tell him he screwed it up and you can no longer be friends.
2007-02-23 06:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are happily married and never speak to him again. He will get the message.
2007-02-23 06:01:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋