My husband and I are separating for reasons that you can see if you read my last few questions. He's a wonderful man and a good father and I truely want what's best for him and myself but physically we just don't work. He's gotten me an Appartment and we will have joint custody of our children. I know this is the only way but why do I feel so selfish? Aren't we both entitled to happiness?
2007-02-23 05:52:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sexual fulfillment is not happiness.... that was a rude comment and you didn't read my other questions or you wouldn't have made such a post!
2007-02-23 06:01:45 · update #1
Okay I went back and read all the questions you've posted.
And here's my thoughts:
I once had a bf who was 9.5 inches long and so thick that I had to do mouth stretching exercises before I could even just pop "IT" into my mouth.Now the difference between you and I is that I have a high pain tolerance and some pain to me feels good.Every one has their boundary and limit.
Even though he takes his time getting you excited sometimes that isn't going to sustain you the duration of sex.Because remember sex is 99% in the mind and you KNOW he's big to you and that eventually its going to start hurting...So your mentality won't always be excited because you're waiting for the pain that you know will start...
There are other things you can do...Such as getting yourself ready using toys you are comfortable with and that are size appropriate for you.You can then begin sex with hubby and then when it starts getting to a point where its getting uncomfortable have him pull out and stroke for you with lubricant while you do what you need to in order to get physically and mentally comfortable.And then if you're ready have him slide in only 3/4 of the way and do that until you are again comfortable inch by inch is a very good way to get comfortable and staying with the amount you're comfortable with until you're ready for more.This gives YOU the control of what you can and can't tolerate and also gives you both a semblance of sexual satisfaction leading to gratification....Find a way to work the method into foreplay or a leverage point for deeper sex.
I realize you've probably tried several things by now and that you do see your options as limited.Though I am not personally into swinging if you love him and want to be with him then this seems like a good path for you.Being able to pick and choose who he has relations with I guess isn't bad but should be more of a compromise between the 2 of you.You never know what kind of sexual levels this can help YOU personally acheive not just him...You may find that maybe voyuerism is your thing and makes you so excited that you can play off of that with him or both of them...
Love makes people do things they wouldn't normally consider but you know what love sets no limits and doesn't tell you whats right ,wrong , clean,or dirty and most of all love isn't judging you....SO if you can handle a swingers relationship I say go for it anything is better than walking away from the man you love...
I Wish you so much in your endeavors in finding happiness and I have high hopes that my suggestions helped a little bit....
Blessed Be,
M.G
2007-02-23 06:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Malia G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I went back and read the other questions you ask and still don't understand you.
7 months ago you were thinking about having a child with someone else because your husband couldn't have one, but 6 months ago you were practicing polygamy and she was pregnant. Then 3 months ago you were expecting your 3rd child by other men. Which is it?
6 months ago you were very happy with your marriage even though you wanted to have a secret affair ( while practicing polygamy)
It is clear that you are not happy with your sex life. One month ago your stated that his sex drive was going down and yours was going up. And it was only a week ago that you let us know that your sister-in-law did so much more for you than your husband. You have made comments all along about the quantity of c** your husband produces.
What I have a hard time believing is the fact that after you have been with over 40 men, had 3 children (in 7 months) and had c** dripping down your leg from a quicky with a co worker that you claim to be to tight/small for your husband. It sounds like you are just trying to make excuses for wanting out of the marriage.
2007-02-23 18:10:02 · answer #2 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if you believe in God, but I think you should swallow your pride and pray believing that he will guide you and give you the answer to this problem as if he already has. This is not something to be taking advice from strangers on the internet who may or may not care about you.
There is more to relationships than sex, if you guys make each other happy and you don't think you can go on without each other, why split?
2007-02-23 06:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are actually preparing to divorce your husband because he has too big of a di ck????
Now I've heard everything.
You know they have these dilators to stretch women out a bit.....
SURELY you knew this was a problem a long time ago - YET you chose to have kids with him and try to form a family.
I feel really sorry for him. I feel nothing but contempt for you. Of COURSE you are both entitled to happiness, but instead of taking care of the issue like a mature person should you are choosing to dump everything, over something YOU KNEW ABOUT.
Your poor husband and kids. What the hell are you going to tell your kids? "Sorry kids, Daddy is hung too big...."
2007-02-23 06:08:32 · answer #4 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes you are both entitled to happiness, but if his happiness is sacrificed just to appease yours, then he'd be in the same boat.
He's not the only man out there for you, and from the sounds of things, then he's not the best man for you either b/c you guys were'nt compatible on some level..
Good luck, and go find your true love *by first finding yourself*, and finding what you want etc..
2007-02-23 05:56:08 · answer #5 · answered by m34tba11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two are and if separation is the only way to promote happiness, then so be it. You should not feel selfish because it was an amicable separation and you two can still raise your children together eventhough you are separated.
2007-02-23 05:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you define happiness in sexual terms?
2007-02-23 05:56:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if niether one hasn't been unfaithful or abusesive then i don't see why you two can't work it out unless one don't love the other or inlaw trouble not enough info
2007-02-23 05:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yess u are if he still loves u and u love him be together.. and well for booty calls find people to go partying with
2007-02-23 05:54:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋