What can parents do if they middle school age boy is a victum of teasing and bullying?

Question

He is small of stature and the school policy is to not fight back. He is constantly teased and if he goes to the teacher or person of authority, then is teased too. What can we as parents do? My husband says hit the person back, but thats not the answer. He is quiet and not one to start anything, but ANYONE can only take so much and he will push the other person. He is RIGHT NOW having one day suspension, with the bullies, and the tape at the school shows that THEY were pervoking him. The school says, "its a hard age".................what can I do to help him? His self esteem is getting lower and lower, and he is a straight A-B student, so hate to have him hate school. HELP!!!

Answer 1

If my child was going through this I would take him out of that school and put him in another school so he can start fresh start with new people that aren't so evil. Good Luck to you and your son-I hope things work out for him.

Answer 2

My parents always told me that if someone was to throw a punch at me at school and I didn't swing back, I'd get another butt-whooping when I got home. Schools today are horrible when it comes to bullies. I was the victim of a few bullies in my middle school years. I have never been confrontational and have never been in a fight (I've ALMOST been in a couple, but never actually been in one). I would always walk away from whoever was harrassing me, being the bigger person. Of course that led to more bullying: being called names because I was "scared" to fight. When it came time for high school, most of my bullies went to different schools. A few were at my school but there were so many different classes and people that no one really had time to bully anyone else. Just tell him not to worry about his bullies and to walk away when he's getting harrassed. In my bullying days, my mom had an idea we never went through with (money difficulties at the time): go out and get your son a small tape recorder that he can fit easily into his pocket with out it being noticed. Discuss the situation with his teacher(s) so they won't punish him for having electronics in school. Make sure the tape has enough time on it to last an entire school day. Tell your son that when his bullies come up to him he should say their names, making sure they acknowledge him. When they begin their harrassment, their threats and names will be caught on tape. Take the tape to the principal of the school and let him/her hear it. If they do nothing, go to the school board. If the school board does nothing, take your son out of that school district. It will be better for him in the long run.

Answer 3

Kids can be very cruel. My dau comes home almost daily and tells me of the same things, especially on the school buses. Our school has a zero tolerance for bullying. Parents of the bullyers are asked to come meet with principals and sometimes it gets all the way to the school board before they get any results. We have what is called an ISS room at the school where the separate the naughties from the rest of the students who want to learn without fear. Talk to your school officials. THEIR hands are not tied.

Answer 4

Well first option would be to switch schools. If that's not an option for you, or you don't want to run away from the problem, go in and chew some major @SS!!!! As a parent it is your job to keep your child safe. Schools are suppose to have a NO TOLERANCE rule that states under no circumstance is bulling of any kind aloud!!! If you have to get down right mean, tell them if you have to you will get a lawyer and sue the school!!! (yes you can do that) because your son's safety is not being looked after. And he shouldn't have to fight to protect himself. We send our children to school believing they will be safe. If they are not safe at school, where are they safe? You NEED to go down to the school and raise hell! Like I said before, it's YOUR job to keep him safe! If you don't look after him to keep him safe, then how do you think that will look to your son? If needed get the names of the kids and call their parents. Most of the time a parent isn't even informed of their child's behavior.

Answer 5

Hard age my ***....!! I blame the parents....

I just went through this myself, my youngest son is 8 years old and not a small fellow. He's mean if he wants to be, we call him the "Bull of the woods".

When he was in Kindergarden, a 4th grader was picking on him, and he blacked his eye for him. He was kicked off the school bus for three days for it. WE had a long talk with him over..."not hitting, not starting a fight, yadda yadda...and by all means take up for yourself, but DO NOT START".

That just set into motion the next couple of bullying episodes that we had to deal with, because he wouldn't fight back after that.

But to make a long story short, the last episode was two little boys decided they were going to pick on him again. They gathered him up by the head and tried to shove him into a toilet in the school bathroom. The teacher walked in, and scolded all three kids. Mine included, because 1) she didn't ask what happened, and 2) she didn't want to deal with it. Their punishment was they missed lunch recess...(wow)

Let me tell you, I made me a trip to that school come the next school day (pissed off), thats after I called the law and made sure I could press charges against the two little boys for assault. I explained in nice language that if those boys were not punished, and treated for the bullying through the school, that I was pressing charges not only on both boys, but on the school for Child endangerment. When you start talking pressing charges on the school, they will start looking for a way to correct the problem, and it won't be such a hard age for them to deal with.

It just pisses me off that we send our kids to school, and then we as parents, and our children have to pay the price for other parents that don't want to teach their children a damned thing.

Read your school handbook, there should be a zero tolerance of bullying, make them put it into USE.....

Those two boys recieved three days suspension, they don't even look at my son cross-eyed now. And I don't really care who thinks what I done was right, kids nowadays are mean. If they had succeeded in getting his head in the toilet, would they have let him up if he'd stopped breathing?

Answer 6

Enroll him in karate or any other marshall arts classes. It's not to teach him to fight, but to protect himself. More importantly it will give him the confidence and self respect as well as discipline. My son is only 7 and already going through this he was born premature so he's quite small for his age. He's now in wrestling and quite good at it. Wrestling would be another way to go for your son as well but at his age I think marshall arts would help him tremendously. If none of that works find a bigger kid in the neighbor hood to pay to be his body gaurd.

Answer 7

Help keep him going with strong support, and explain that life isn't fair, and these people teasing him are actually the weak ones. Then help him get straight A's, go to Harvard, then employ the teasers as janitors at his company.

Answer 8

Keep a written documentation of your evidence. If it occurs at school, verbally notify the principal and ask when and how they will reply to you and the staffmember. Then phone your local PD and ask them to connect you to a staff person who can explain all options to you regarding the incident. Be sure to request an Incident Report Acknowledgement Number or File Number. If they refer you directly to Child Protection Svcs (due to the severity of your child's event), be sure to write all info down for your file.
If the school blows you off or turns the tables on you, advise the law not the media. Between the school and PD and CPS, it ought to be able to resolve. If not, the school will probably escalate to the Superintendent or Legal Dept level, at which time you would utilize the PD's previously provided info. Or with the backing of your physician's report or note as reason, seek an inter-district or intra-district transfer.

Answer 9

Go to the county superintendent. If he/she does nothing....go to the local media.

Answer 10

hold the school and the district accountable!!