How can you tell if your husband is cheating & what are some good ways to catch him in the act?
2007-02-23 05:41:01 · 14 answers · asked by lili 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you really believe he is cheating, do you really need to catch him in the act? Do you want to put yourself through that? Obviously, there are trust issues that need to be resolved whether he is cheating or not. You should confront him and ask him if he is cheating. Define what cheating is to you, as it may have different meanings to different people. For example, I believe that someone can cheat simply by spending too much time with someone even if they are not having sex. Cheating can be emotional rather than just physical. Of course, it can be just physical and not emotional also or any combination of the two.
If he insists that he is not cheating and you believe him, then you are fine. If you do not believe him then you have to determine if he is lying or you are insecure for some reason. Insecurity can come about for many reasons which may or may not have anything to do with your current relationship. If the feelings of insecurity result from your current relationship perhaps you could determine and discuss why you feel insecure. If these feelings are a result of childhood or past relationship issues, you could discuss why you feel that way and ways in which he can help to make you feel more secure in your relationship.
If you cannot resolve those trust issues then you need to consider a divorce.
2007-02-23 05:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough issue, but one would assume there is a reason you suspect him of cheating on you, or you wouldn't need to try to catch him in the act -- if you're just suspicious by nature, your marriage is in jeopardy even if he's 100% faithful, because there isn't enough trust to build the intimacy required to maintain a relationship.
If he HAS done or said something to make you suspect something, I would focus on that clue. Cheating implies a lie at some point or another, whether it's the frequent business trips or the late nights at work, the suspicious stain on the collar that looks like lipstick or the smell of someone else's perfume on him, or perhaps sudden changes in behavior or habits -- like he hasn't shaved on the weekends since you got married, but he suddenly starts doing so before his Saturday game of "golf." Usually, he'll have some sort of alibi like that, which also usually involves another person. If you then call that other person -- the golf buddy, or co-worker who's working late with him -- and discover he isn't there, that's a hit he'll have to explain. Make it an innocent thing, like you had forgotten to mention something or ask him to pick up milk on the way home from work, so it won't appear that you're tracking him.
2007-02-23 05:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by theyuks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when a woman suspects cheating, she is right.
The best thing you can do is when he goes out, or works late or does whatever away from you, borrow a friend's car and follow him.
See what he is up to.
If he is doing what he tells you he is doing when you follow him a few times, then you know he is being faithful, and no harm done.
If you see him lying to you and off meeting another woman, then you know and can approach him.
Just be careful what you wish for, if you catch him in the act, it could be one of the most painful things you ever have to go through.
I believe it would be better just to sit him down and ask him to be honest to you. If he has any respect for you, he will have to come clean.
2007-02-23 05:54:59 · answer #3 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the sad news is you gotta be extremely patient....
i dunno how much you can take but if youre strong enough... you can...
And intentions are always part of it... what i mean is, if you want to catch him so that in the end,he'll learn a lesson then the perspective of your patience would be different BUT if you want to catch him for the sake of the doubt..then you just get hurt so bad that the scar will never heal and you'd never be able to love again...
What i'd do is this...
FOR YOURSELF
1) Treat him as before and maybe even more love and affection(not too much) so that IF HE IS cheating on u as u say, he'd think bout u most of the time...
2) Get urself in shape.. be fit.. if u already are, be more sexy for him.. or maybe be more of a sexual attraction (coz sadly men always forget that when married for years)
3) Make urself smell good,look good and feel good ..meditation,yoga... stress balls even...(to an extent, he might even think ur having an affair- if so, he might get jealous)..
All of the above would make him you know- get carried away and might think ur busy doing something else...THEN..
1) Check his bills (phone) ..once would be enough.. of course without him knowing..
2) If he claims to have a trip to sumwhere2.. you alone, check for that trip... airport,office,friends..
3) Where he goes everyday - games or some golf game , get say a friend to follow.. and TAKE PICTURES
4) Credit card bills (he must've left some of it somewhere)
When you get all this compiled... then... on the right day and time..you calmly show all of it...
He wont have a word to say and he cant defend himself..
You gotta be strong ok..takecare
2007-02-23 05:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by kim_stolz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, ask him! If you don't trust that he is being faithful even after you ask him. (He will probably lie anyway.... most cheaters do) If you can't afford to hire a detective, then you do the detective work Most women are born with this instinct!
I need more history on this though. He must be giving you a reason to think he is cheating?! Also watch the show Cheaters; it will motivate you to want to find out You have the right to know!
Just remember that ......Every Dog Has It's Day! He is gonna get whats coming to him
2007-02-23 05:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by Calebs Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even nonetheless i've got under no circumstances caught my husband in the act, I knew he replaced into cheating or has cheated on me. i do no longer understand if it fairly is in simple terms me yet I knew that some thing wasn't suitable plus he replaced into continuously accusing me of cheating. lifeless GIVEAWAY. No, i did no longer check out through fact i comprehend he'd slip up and that i might get the reality. I did ask him and of direction he denied it, yet after he observed that i replaced into going to depart he got here sparkling. we've been via marriage counseling and all that relaxing stuff and we are nevertheless going.
2016-10-16 08:12:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have other issues if you are to that point.
The first thing to have in a relationship is open communication. If you can talk about anything, then there won't be any doubts.
Second is trust.
If you don't have those, you probably should re-think who you are with. Your happiness is most important and if he can't make you feel secure in your relationship then you have the right to go find someone that can.
2007-02-23 05:48:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if it is a boyfriend- it's one thing, but a HUSBAND? You ask straight out if he is cheating. You have the right and you're also letting him know that you suspect something.
2007-02-23 05:45:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
use cameras in the bedroom. track him on the computer where hes buyin **** hes not tellin u about. also cell phone is a good thing to check. check text messages and phone book for names and numbers u dont recogonize. then check house phone caller id for the same.
2007-02-23 05:45:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How I found out, I asked some of my friends to follow him around.Also the fact that he wouldn't really talk to me anymore made me wounder. Turned out that he was and my friends used cameras to take pictures to prove it to me.
2007-02-23 05:50:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋