I make a short sentence about the sky in class today. On a level of 1-10, how do you rate this short paragraph

Question

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The sunset appears red or orange in color because we are viewing the sun through more, or a thicker swath of, our atmosphere which actually stretches in a sense the wavelength of light, look straight up however and you will see that the sky is still blue.

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Please also include your comment, like why you rate it as such and as such. Thanks in advance

Answer 1

Others have critiqued the grammar and style, so let me mention that the "stretching" of wavelengths is an incorrect explanation scientifically.

When sunlight goes through more atmosphere, more of the shorter (blue) waves are scattered leaving more of the longer (red) waves in the sunlight. The scattered light is what makes the sky blue, and the unscattered light is what you see in the red or orange colored sun.

Answer 2

I'm not going to rate this, as you didn't state what level class it was. There's a big difference between 8th grade science and college, for example. However, being a college graduate, I'd be happy to critique the writing.

1. This is not a paragraph, but a run-on sentence. The information should be conveyed using shorter sentences and reducing comma usage.

2. Using terms such as "in a sense" and "however" incorrectly makes the writing passive. When discussing a scientific fact, the writer should try to stay as active and objective as possible.

I would revamp the sentence to become a short paragraph similar to this:

The sunset appears red or orange in color because we are viewing the sun through a thicker layer of atmosphere at the horizon level. The added thickness of atmosphere filters out the shorter wavelengths of light, leaving the warmer colors and the longer end of the spectrum. This is why during a sunset, the sky directly overhead will still appear blue.

See the difference?

Answer 3

If I were writing it, just from a grammatical standpoint, I'd do this. You also have to correct the bad science. The atmosphere dies not stretch the light.

The sunset appears red or orange in color because we are viewing the sun through more, or a thicker swath of, our atmosphere which actually stretches the wavelength of light. Look straight up however and you will see that the sky is still blue.

Answer 4

The sunset appears red or orange in color because we are viewing the sun through more [add "of" here], or a thicker swath of,[delete - too wordy] our atmosphere which actually stretches in a sense [it isn't in a sense, it is -delete "actually in a sense"]the wavelength of light,[put a period here or a semi-colon -;] look straight up [comma here]however [comma her]and you will see that the sky is still blue.

Not bad.

The sunset appears red or orange in color because we are viewing the sun through more of our atmosphere which stretches the wavelength of light; look straight up, however, and you will see that the sky is still blue.

Answer 5

It's to do with scattering.

The presence of the atmosphere doesn't stretch the wavelength.

Stretching the wavelength is called Doppler effect and occurs when the other distant star is moving away from us. It is also called Red shift.

You wrote it, you rate it. Your own evaluation is worth more to you than anybody else's

Answer 6

how about a -1. For one thing, you are not viewing the sun. You are viewing what the photons from the sun are doing to molecules in our atmosphere. And the more atmosphere a photon has to go through , the visual effect will be different.

Answer 7

I would say about 8 it doesn't stretch the wavelength it simply filters out the short ones

Answer 8

According to D-Rail, I would say 10 out of a scale from one to Ten....

She surely deserves the best answer....

Sounded like an English Instructor to me...

Bravo...

Answer 9

1 and 10, what would you have me say, been there done that!

Answer 10

4, i do like it but its noy great.