I have a friend who I talk with weekly and we share our lives, frustrations and concerns, joys and accomplisments. However, last week I called to see if she was going to a common Spring Break location with her family and she said she was, with two other neighborhood families. She didn't bother to mention this in our conversations and it has happened before.
What is going on here? Is she my friend or am I just someone she can complain to?
My feelings are hurt.
2007-02-23 05:06:19 · 19 answers · asked by Jenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
There are different kinds of friends. And all friends have other friends. It could be she was invited to go along. Just because someone is a friend doesnt mean they cant go do things with other friends. She probably didnt mention it because she didnt want you thinking she didnt like you. I dont know how many friends you have but you cant invite each one to everything you do every time. You need to think about what friendship is. It doesnt mean you own that person, they have a life and some things in it wont include you. I think you are over reacting.
2007-02-23 05:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to be hurt! I think she is your friend. Long distance friendships and relationships are tough! But, since she has mentioned (regardless of whether she mentioned it previously or not) that she is going to be visiting you in your area...invite her and her family to visit your family (talk to your family first)....if you can, go out to dinner or do something fun. Find out what she is doing when she comes down...it sounds like you are in Florida...(I'm assuming) and that they are more than likely going to be visiting WDW, etc. I'm SURE that you can bring them into Orlando and show them some of the local life:-) Take this as an opportunity...don't be down in the dumps if you can't get together with her either. Since, her family may be dictating the schedule, know what I mean? Look on the bright side and good luck!!
2007-02-23 13:38:57 · answer #2 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that maybe she just wants to spend sometime with her family. Maybe she misses spending time with them. You shouldn't be mad at her for this but I can see how your feelings may be hurt.
Let her go on her Spring Break and don't make any comments about it. Just tell her you hope she has fun and you can't wait to see her when she gets back. Then when she gets back you can talk to her about why she didn't feel like telling you. Ask her why she sometimes forgets to tell you things and tell her it hurts your feelings.
One thing my friends do when one of us goes away and we won't see them for awhile is we make each other care packages with things like notes and candy in them. Or say she is going for ten days. Then you write ten letters/notes and tell her to open one everyday she is gone. That way you guys will be thinking about each other when you're apart.
Good luck and keep us updated!
2007-02-23 13:24:40 · answer #3 · answered by rismonstar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think she is a friend. You mentioned that you share your
lives, frustrations etc, with each other-that is a give and take
for the both of you. Maybe she didnt want to tell you about
her spring break plans because she knew it would upset you.
If you are that close to this person, and you talk to her weekly
I think its fair to say you should express openly your concerns
and let her know you were hurt.
2007-02-23 13:26:35 · answer #4 · answered by Laura G 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh my gosh! STOP WHINING!!! She's going to spring break with her family - why do you need to be informed again? Maybe it's a family thing that they do and outsiders aren't invited. You sound like you need to make some other friends so you can stop giving this poor girl a hard time about her life! You are not the only friend she has apparently, and taht's okay. You need to get some other friends that you can do activities with as well so you don't overwhelm the one friend you've got now. Good luck.
2007-02-23 13:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't want to bad mouth anyone BUT, if she felt for you the same as you do for her she wouldn't keep stuff of that nature away from you. It would have been nice if she would've invited you. Just have patience and do not judge her just yet see what other dumb stuff she hides from you and then take charge from there. Good-Luck I know now in days it isn't easy to find an honest, trustworthy friend. That's life you'll just have to learn how to deal with the malfunctioned ones you have now.
2007-02-23 13:13:18 · answer #6 · answered by cOMpLiCaTeD 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seeing how you did not bring it up before, why give her grief for not doing so either?
It sounds like she is, and it may be both, something slipping someone's mind may just be that.
Check what you get out of the relationship and evaluate if you want to continue. It really doesn't matter how much she returns if it is fun for you.
2007-02-23 13:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by Don't look too close! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friends are people we can complain to, ... the only people we can do this with ... are friends, family and shrinks. That being said, unless you are her shrink... you are friends. Just because she forgets to mention she is going to spring break with people, doesn't make her not a friend... just forgetful.
2007-02-23 13:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by peachez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm, i think your being a little inconsideate.just because she's bringing two other families doesnt mean that you are just a person she complains to. it may not have been up to her. and its not like she said "yea im coming but i cant hang out with you". just ask her about it, and get the full story before you get angry with her, trust me on this, i had to learn the hard way.
hope i helped
Sabby
2007-02-23 13:11:05 · answer #9 · answered by Sabby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think beyond hurt feelings. It is healthy for people to have more than 1 friend. It is healthy for people to make choices and not be monopolized or under obligation in a relationship. Don't worry about it; increase your own friendships as well.
2007-02-23 13:12:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋