my husband has been impotent which I believe is psychogenic, ever since we met and I have tried counselling and drugs which have not worked.Should I consider divorce because of this?
2007-02-23 04:11:38 · 29 answers · asked by tu l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. Although sex is important in marriage. Love should conquer all.
2007-02-23 04:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by finished 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Do you mean HE has tried counseling and drugs and nothing has worked? If that's the case he may have a serious illness and should go see his doctor immediately.
As for the marriage, you say he's been impotent since you met, you married him anyway, and now you're freakin' horny. Is that about right?
You married him, so no, impotence alone is not grounds for divorce. If it is causing other problems in the marriage that's a different issue.
Are you two intimate at all? There are other things besides just intercourse. Good luck.
2007-02-23 04:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he diabetic?
That is a disease which causes impotence and is known as the silent killer because the symptoms are seldom noticed until they become so acute that you end up in the hospital.
Yes, impotence is a justifiable basis for divorce, any court would agree. That having been said....
I do not feel that impotence is a good reason for divorce. There are a thousand different ways for a couple to enjoy eachother and I think you should explore those options before opting out of your marriage.
2007-02-23 04:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has been impotent ever since you met him what did you expect would happen after you got married, that he would magically get an erection. I find it amazing that nothing you have tried like drugs and counselling don't work. As to whether you should leave him is up to you maybe try some sex toys like a vibrator. Does he like or even attempt sex with you if not you have another underlying problem.
2007-02-23 04:22:07 · answer #4 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is based on love, not sex. Sure sex is necessary, but if you really love him and care for him, maybe you could come to good terms as to fulfill your needs even with his health issue. Sex can be done in many ways, not just penetration. A perfect stimulation with his fingers, lips, tongue, hands, kisses and hugs goes a long way for many women. It will just depend on the women and how much she loves her man. If you really cannot deal with other ways to be satisfied, then this means that you are not really in love with the guy and should be honest with him. If you think that you cannot handle his health issue, then a divorce is the best way out, because there is no love in the marriage, so why wait any longer. You will end up hurting him and hurting yourself. Marriage is based on LOVE, HONESTY, COMMITMENT and COMMUNICATION.
2007-02-23 04:25:59 · answer #5 · answered by Big&Tall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you may, this goes to "loss of companionship", that even in insurance law states that if a spouse have been in an accident that caused him/her a disability that prevented any chance to supply companionship (both mental and physical) to the remaining spouse, you can sue the insurance company for extra cash. In family law there are other issues, but you have every right to get out of this, obviously you tried all you can, and this is not why you got married. Unfortunate as it is, your husband is damaged goods, and you deserve a fully functional spouse.
You did all you can to help, so at this point, it's time to realize that he will always be impotent. You have to make a decision with your eyes wide open, are you OK with him being like this for the rest of your marriage or not, make a plan and stick to it.
2007-02-23 04:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your husband has BEEN impotent? Why did you marry him if it could potentially become a problem? If impotency is really the problem I say NO. Love making is both mental and physical you can still have the sexual experience you just will have to impervise with the physical part.
2007-02-23 04:21:35 · answer #7 · answered by Friday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So it's been like this ever since you met (Presumably before you married) and now you're wondering what to do about it? Did you not even weigh in this issue before you got married?
Have you attempted to compensate in other ways, via toys and the like?
Divorce should be a last resort option, make sure you're well aware of the consequences before you pursue this avenue.
2007-02-23 04:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by Cerryl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!
All the hypocrites above might call upon the vows of marriage but I'm sure they are not in this situation.(neither am I luckily)
If you really love him and want to stay married then try an open marriage.Seriously I know this is against the puritan traditions of american society but if you deny sex from yourself for his sake you will end up handing him the bill some way or another and you will end up feeling bitter towards him in your heart.
2007-02-25 02:14:14 · answer #9 · answered by amateurgrower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why premarital sex is not necessarily a bad thing.
Now you either had premarital sex, and he worked fine, or you were making him wait until marriage because you were all wrapped up in your being a 'good little virgin'.
I'm guessing he used to work fine. So divorce him. It's probably your fault for nagging him about it to the point of him not even wanting you sexually anymore.
Never mind him going down on you or using his hands or toys. If he can't get hard, you leave him. Because you deserve a good hard dong!
2007-02-23 04:25:07 · answer #10 · answered by J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I guess it might be ~~~~~~ but not for me !!!!
Was a struggle from night one.Married at 22 & he 26. I could not believe it, and as time passed he found all kinds of little reasons why the fault was mine. My self esteme went to pot.
Make a long story short, he being military & each time he came in from a long cruise we managed to get me pregnant 4 different times. It was not easy.We are happy today but we did miss out on a lot of intimacy. He sought out help but he really wasn't that interested in sex himself he said, only to please me. With that said, Why would I want it from him. We both went to therapy and he learned about other ways to love his woman with tenderness & caring & understanding and it took quite awhile and the road was rocky but he learned well and today is the most wonderful caring attentive husband in this world. At last I am truly blessed. As far as myself in therapy, I got a vibrator. Better then nothing !!!!
We have a very happy christian home and I wouldn't trade my life now for anyone's. That's my story, hard to share, hope it helps someone else understand that they are not alone in this.~~Jill
2007-02-23 05:17:10 · answer #11 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋