abstaining teaching in school?

Question

I am curious about how other parents feel about this. My 12 yo daughter brought a form home for me to sign stating you would refraine from sex for the rest of the year and they would have classes on not having sex before they are married. I personally do not have aproblem with this because i have talks with her regularly on the importance of waiting. but I know of 2 girls in her class that are being pulled from our school because their parents feel they are imposing moral conduct on their children? how would you as a parent react?

The form states that my daughter will refrain from sex for the rest of the year

First lets get this cleared up, I am responsible for teaching my child about sex, secondly the fact that she is only 12 has no influence on thst issue. in our community in the last 5 years we have had a 9yo girl, a 11 yo girl and 5 ,12 yo girls give birth. I will not tell my child to wait but I will teach her the importance of waiting and teach her what the consequences will be if she choices not to

Answer 1

I would give my daughter the choice to sign it or not. She is old enough to make that choice, and I have instilled in her the importance of living up to your obligations. If she chose not to sign i would support her 100%. Keep in mind that not signing does NOT mean she is going to go out and have sex. As for the class, I would only allow her to attend if they also taught about STD's and pregnancy and how to avoid it by using the different forms of birth control. The I would require the school to send home with my daughter a list of what was talked about including a list of reputable links that the school recommends looking at for further information. We would then look at them together and I would show her sites that I recommend she look at it.

Answer 2

Is the form stating that you (the parent) or her (the daughter) would abstain from sex for the rest of the year? A bit confusing the way it's written here. I'm also assuming your daughter attends a public school.

Anyway, in either case, I would never trust a school to teach any of my children about sexual education. I don't know if I would go so far as to pull them from the school altogether, but I would speak to the administration about the course and ask about getting an exemption. At this point, I might feel like they were imposing moral conduct on my child and I might pull them out if there was no other option.

It matters less whether or not I agreed with the policy or what was being taught. It's not their responsibility and not their role to teach about sex. I personally have a huge problem with schools teaching that abstinence is the only way to go and that you should wait until you are married. That is the job of the parent. If you as a parent want to teach those morals and values to your child, you're free to; it won't be what I teach, but there's nothing wrong with that.

Same with religious instruction; you are free to teach your children whatever you believe, as I am free to teach mine. I have no beef with that, but the public school does not (nor should not) have any jurisdiction over religion.

Teachers should teach to the facts, not the beliefs. Leave that to parents. Give children options and let them make their own choices. They're smarter than most of us think.

Answer 3

I think that Abstaince only education is not affective and I would be upset and take it to the school board. To send a letter stating refraine from sex rest of the year is ideal for teens, but not realistic and almost crosses the line of placing a "contract" on someone else's child, saying what they can and can't do.

I would also not allow my daughter to attend if it was going to be that demanding (making a purity ring or doing any form of sayings like prayer as that is crossing the line of her rights). She should be getting the proper education on being healthy if chooses to have sex. Of course I would be very involved in the teaching, but kids also look elsewhere for more information that they are too embarressed or different view point from other people. I don't want her to get the wrong or confusing idea by someone else's morals and value's. If she wants to attend and fancies the class, I would not object, but still greatly inform.

"She will" is another form of demanding and that she has no choice in the matter.

Teens are going to have sex regaurdless. I don't think that type of instruction is affective enough.

Answer 4

Firstly, restrain from sex for a year???? She's 12!
OK, I'm not a parent, only 17, but i do know that that is a bad idea. You tell a child to simply not do something, you've got around about 15% chance that they won't do it, not in your favor. Give them information, talk about protection and safety and consequences. Of coarse talk about the importance of waiting, but what about when they simply won't wait any longer, and they know so little that they go ahead without any thought or protection and there you go, then you're in trouble. Nowadays people won't wait till there married, its a fact, and instead of forcing this idea onto them, that a hell of a lot of them aren't going to listen to, you should be teaching them about taking care of themselves. This is I feel a huge problem with a lot of schools, but k, let the school teach her about abstinence and you worry about the real issues. Good luck xx

Answer 5

I personally would be furious and would refuse to sign. I wouldn't take my children out of the school, though. How can you make a decision for a child when they are so young? And of course, I would hope they weren't having sex anyway!
Sorry, but in my opinion, schools should teach kids the facts. And at 12 they need to know that if you have sex, you will probably fall pregnant. When they're older, the schools can teach them about birth control. Meanwhile I do my bit about their moral code.
These are kids - they need to be treated like kids. How can such a form be valid?

Answer 6

This school is taking the most conservative approach possible in teaching about sex. It shocks me that anyone would complain or pull their child from a school for taking the most conservative approach - and yet consider the other end of the spectrum. The school would be lauded for teaching the kids how to put on a condom. And despite teaching the proper application of a condom, there would still be teenage pregnancies resulting from impulsive make-out sessions.
The school is making it easier for kids who want to abstain to feel that they are supported in their decision. Would it be better to teach the mechanics of how to have sex? Then the kids who want to have sex would feel supported in THAT decision, and in fact, I think that is what happens - all in the name of giving kids the 'education they need to be safe.'
Kids need education about emotions and sex, not about all the consumer items. The classes about not having sex before you are married would have to talk about sharing emotions like love without attaching sexual intercourse.

Answer 7

Imposing moral conduct?? Well it seems like someone should be. I think schools should teach abstinence AND proper sexual education to the students who want it. Just look at some of the questions posted in this section and you can see some people need to learn from more than TV and what other people tell them.

Answer 8

Well I always thought sex ed was a waste of time because all they seemed to do was tell the girls don't have sex or you'll get pregnant. They never really said anything about why it's good to wait until marriage. I'd sign the form.

Answer 9

definitely sex preparation (i'm 19 btw). Abstinence preparation would not artwork and is ineffective. notwithstanding, in my intense college about 30% of my graduating classification were given pregnant or already had a baby. they could've used birth control yet they did not pick to. maximum of them used the 'pulling out' approach which shows how ineffective it really is.

Answer 10

I would let my child attend it. Some teachers that teach it really care, and really involve the kids into the teaching. They show them pictures of what may happen. I would let my kid attend it because they might tell my child something I may have forgotten.