I havent been with him for 3 years, and I have a child with my husband now. were happy and everything, I just cant seem to stop thinking about him? Why?
2007-02-23 03:10:53 · 18 answers · asked by ♥Proud Mommy♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
was he your first of anything? that could greatly matter. I do the same, constantly have dreams of my very first b/f over 10 years ago... im married with two kids also now... but i also think, sometimes if they dont get out of your mind, maybe they are supposed to be there.
2007-02-23 03:14:34 · answer #1 · answered by ~♥Dominatrix♥~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait. Do you mean "dreaming," like having a dream when you are asleep? If so, then you are dreaming about your ex for the same reason I have dreamed about my dad's old Chevy Nova, my best friend's mom, Cedar Point in Sandusky Ohio, and burritos. They are in my database of memories that my brain draws from, just like your ex is in yours.
If you mean daydreaming, however, then the problem is pretty basic. It happens to a lot of people. You are probably having some marriage problems. They may be major, they may not be, but they are there. Now you are unhappy or bored and do not know what to do. This leads you to start creating an idealized version of your ex, because you want someone who is perfect. If it wasn't your ex, it would be a co-worker, a friend, the mailman, or Brad Pitt. The problem is that NONE of these people are likely any better or more exciting than your husband, Brad Pitt aside. But you can't have him, and you know it. The idealized version of your ex is not real.
What you need to do, if you think I am right, is work on your marriage. Figure out what is missing. Figure out what is making you unhappy or listless. Maybe it is just work. Maybe it is just boredom. Maybe you and your husband have problems. Whatever it is, figure it out, and then talk about it with your husband. If necessary, go to marriage counseling. A counselor or therapist can help you indentify your problems and come up with strategies and solutions that are practical and constructive.
All marriages lose that spark after awhile, but you can get that spark back! It takes work. It takes effort. It takes honesty and communication. Your willingness (and your husband's willingness) to do what you have to do is what determines the success of a marriage. Giving that ex a call is definitely NOT the answer. He's your ex for a reason.
Good luck!
2007-02-23 11:20:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not really your ex you are dreaming of, but your past. You miss the whole thing, which is very normal, especially after you settle down and start a family. It doesn't mean that you are not happy with where you are right now, only that you miss where you used to be. It's like reminiscing.
2007-02-23 11:23:37 · answer #3 · answered by Milana P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that the dream isn't even about the ex bf. It could simply mean your missing when life was about you and only you. You have a family now and maybe your just a little stressed out. It's not a bad thing, unless you plan on pursuing your ex.
2007-02-23 11:16:00 · answer #4 · answered by **Red** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with a number of these answers. He could be trying to tell you something. Keep a journal and write down your feelings after you have after the dreams. its ok. There is nothing wrong with remeniscing about your past love. B/c that is what he is to you. I believe that you have more than one soul mate.
You shouldn't have any regrets about anything. But try not to delve in the past too much, because it can be painful. If it is too much to handle then maybe you should consider contacting him. Just for coffee to see what is going on with him and of course brag about yourself. Good luck. And if it makes you feel any better I have dreams about my former flame, who is the love of my life. It breaks my heart that we are not together, but i do know that he thinks about me and that is very reassuring.
2007-02-23 12:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by workaholic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to remember things that happened all your life, so don't think you are experiencing anything most people don't experience. What you have to do is STOP DWELLING ON HIS MEMORY. Get to work doing something that keeps you busy, OR, keep pictures of you and hubby and baby in front of you all the time.
Good Luck
2007-02-23 11:15:50 · answer #6 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite normal really. Since you had a close relationship with him, you may be subconsciously comparing him to your husband and wonder where things really went wrong and if things would be different if you two were still together
2007-02-23 11:18:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi aliya's mommy,
u are digging the dead bodies from the grave yard. u have a husband and a child now. be happy and enjoy the life. do not mess up ur things.
2007-02-23 11:17:13 · answer #8 · answered by amarnath 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been out of school for a number of years now (17) and I still have nightmares about school. You didn't say if they were good or bad dreams.
2007-02-23 11:15:38 · answer #9 · answered by CL R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a "false sense of security" on your part. It's easy to recall the past---because the past has already happened!
It takes courage to appreciate what you have NOW and APPRECIATE IT!
2007-02-23 11:16:55 · answer #10 · answered by argytunes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋