its about my inlaws. I know I shouldnt be bothored but my husband cannot live without his family. he is the best husband in the world but when it comes to his family he is a little mummys and sisters (3) boy. they have made my life misserable since the past 7 years. they b-tch in front of my husband about my family and me and he doesnot support me (I expect him to). What do I do? I cannt leave them because he wouldnot. Shall I start b-tching them back. Which i did but was not good at it and that gave them more to talk about!! I give an example I left my 6 yrs old with them and they forgot about him and he slept in the garden house and when he woke up it was dark and the doors were closed from inside and he got so scared of the dark and when I called to find out about him thats when they realised that he is missing.... My husband still loves them!!!
2007-02-23 02:51:38 · 21 answers · asked by istupidice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW.... NEVER EVER let them watch your kids again. YES.... If they bitc* about you, then you have EVERY RIGHT to bitc* about them. You should rehearse what you are going to say and SAY IT. Stand up for yourself. You would be surprised to see how much families appreciate being stood up to, It proves that you have a spine, and most people believe having a spine is a good thing. So TALK BACK, its ok. Good luck
2007-02-23 02:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is putting you WAAAAAY behind his family. Since you're married, he should be putting you first. Sounds like he has no sack and is afraid of his family.
Don't stoop to their level by trying to be as low as they are. It will only give them and your husband ammunition to use against you.
These people are low-life. That they could forget your child is unforgivable. If you husband still stands behind them, even after this terrible act, he need s to be put on notice. He's not ready to be a husband OR a father if he can't protect you all from his abusive family. Give him an ultimatum. Leave if he doesn't make an effort to be a real man. You and your child deserve better.
2007-02-23 02:59:08 · answer #2 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's his family and he's always going to love them, but you need to let him know how it makes you feel when he lets them talk about you that way. Maybe you can tell him that until he starts to stand up for you in front of his family you and your son will have nothing to do with them. Tell him it is not right for them to disrespect you that way and that you don't want them doing it in from of your son because that will teach your son to disrespect you. Just politely decline to go whenever he goes to visit. Don't let your son go without you. That should get his attention after the first time or two. You shouldn't start griping at them either, it puts you down on their level, don't go there.
2007-02-23 03:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by kittymimm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have 2 different issues: your husband's behavior with his Mom and Dad...and your son's safety???
In case #1...the two of you might want to make a list of how much quality time the 2 of you spend TOGETHER as opposed to sharing it with his Mom and Dad. If you can gently convince your husband that YOU need him as badly as his parents do...perhaps you can arrive at a compromise when it comes to how much he can devote to them...as opposed to yourself?
Situation #2...If the 'garden house incident' was a "one time only" thing...LET IT GO! If the pattern is something that has occurred frequently...perhaps the 4 of you should sit down and have a chat about your son and their grandson?
2007-02-23 02:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by argytunes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've dealt with some of the same issues for almost 20 years now.
when they start their bitching why not tell them that you are way above their childishness and just walk away? if they know it doesn't bother you they will be more apt to let it go. anyway, if they are gossipping about you they are leaving other people alone.
start avoiding situations that you have to be around them.DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN WITH THEM! its obvious that they are not only bitchy malicious gossipers but they are also totally irresponsible. (poor boy) i would have probably been kicking some bitches @ss for her for not taking care of my kid.
i just finally got to the point that i said f*ck them all. (excuse the language, but when it comes to people like this it really hits home and aggravates me) i told my husband that too. after about 10 years or so he finally realised how i felt and why, now he doesn't associate with them much because when he does they always put him down.
2007-02-23 03:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious discussion with you hubby. Hopefully he will find your concerns something that need to be discussed w/his family. You should have a talk w/the fam to and find out what the root of this whole problem is.....This is hard on the kids as well, ya know. And what kind of person forgets about a child...You have a RIGHT to be totally PISSED OFF about that incident.
2007-02-23 02:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by kizdrop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My in-laws are extremely rude but I have never allowed myself to be miserable. I go to there house get belittled in subtle way ignored what have you because I don't pay attention to it and I don't care. What I do care about is my showing respect to the family that gave me their daughter
You need to be THANKFUL for his family even if they are rude. They helped make that BEST HUSBAND EVER. They are not the only ones that are rude to your husband while putting footprints on his back. He lets you treat him the same way (you are very belittling to his version or respect).
To have the BEST HUSBAND EVER and be miserable 7 years over at worst RUDE in-laws is outrageous on your part.
2007-02-23 03:52:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to say this but Ur husband has no respect for u and Ur son or else it would have bothered him that his family talks about u and Ur family in a bad way and what happen to Ur son that just proves they r not 2be trusted.i think you should make him choose which is more important his family or you and Ur son.its obvious his family is not good and they don't care about u and Ur son.do something soon or else something bad might happen to U or ur son.wish u all the best!
2007-02-23 03:08:04 · answer #8 · answered by Mu lian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that your hubby should put you first. Once you are married, you left your family and moved into a new relationship with another person, that is your focus from then on, not your born family. There are cases like sickness where you need to divert more attention to your original family, but it shouldn't take away your priority to your new family.
I would put my son's interest first.
2007-02-23 12:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by Ruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like your husband's issue, not really theirs. He's the problem. What did you think about his dependency issues BEFORE you were married? Surely you knew about them. You picked him anyway and now you have to deal with him, warts and all. BUT, you do not have to deal with his family. You can avoid them like the plague.
Perhaps you will learn to "look before you leap" into marriage before your next one.
2007-02-23 02:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋