Why are some people gay? Are they born gay or did they become gay after mixing the wrong crowd?
I once knew a guy from school. He's a nice guy. Very active in sports, very macho and someone who can bear the brunt of things. There is really nothing to suggest he can be gay. He also never even wore earrings or do makeup.
Yet, it is a surprise to us he and a guy got hitched recently.
We feel he could have become gay after getting involved with the wrong crowd. Some of the people he got along with had gay characteristics and so we feel he might have been influenced by them to be like them.
Do you think this can be true?
2007-02-23 02:19:15 · 25 answers · asked by Goldhill 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You should get the Nobel Prize. You figured it out. Sexual orientation is determined by "peer pressure". The "gay" men that I know must not really be gay because they don't wear earrings or makeup. Lord.
2007-02-24 01:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is like asking if someone that is gay touches you will you become gay. Or if you are black and you hang out with someone that is white will you turn white or the other way around! NOOOOO! Just because he didn't tell you that he was gay doesn't mean that he wasn't. A lot of people are afraid that they will be treated different what would of all the guys on his sports teams said.
I mean sure if you are someone that never gets in trouble and you hang out with a bad crowd you might start doing somethings that you wouldn't have before. However being gay doesn't work like that either you like someone or you don't. If I tell you that you now like someone of the same sex is it going to be true just because i said so. Didn't think so.
2007-02-23 10:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by Ali 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It does not matter how old you are, if you feel your friends or peers will not accept who you are, what you do, where you work, you will keep it hidden. If what you think about hanging with the wrong crowds is true, you are saying that just by socializing with a person that is gay, you can "catch" it. It doesn't happen that way. Not all gay men wear earrings and/or make up, after all, there are straight men who like to wear makeup and earrings. I say quit trying to figure out why he is gay, he is not broken, so you don't need to figure out how to fix him.
2007-02-23 10:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by stormzsecret 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No people don't make someone gay. Ever think he choose who he hung out with with his own free will. As for you having no clue that he was gay guys often keep it a secret for a long time before coming out. This isn't a very friendly world we live in. Also gay guys so have more of a clue. Since coming out I notice way more of them. Really they are going to show more of who they are to people who appear to be receptive. I notice a lot of guys and I think to my self Hmmm I wonder. I'm always so happy when I see them come in with their boy friend and I think ha I was right and I smile at them.
Really there's not much to notice unless you are cruising for guys. Unless they make the choice to openly show it you won't notice anything unless you are open to the subtleties. Also a hint to you. I am gay and I don't have ear rings and I don't wear make up. All I have to do is make eye contact and smile for them and I can usually make a good guess pretty easily. The straight guy is not going to keep eye contact very long.
That's really a common miss conception that we all fit a certain image. Gay guys are just as varied as their straight counterparts. There are Gay jocks, nerds, dorks, etc, etc. We are all different and what we share is our love of guys.
2007-02-23 16:53:51 · answer #4 · answered by twilight_moon1 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being a bit naive, however I think we all have sexual curiosity as we grow up and some people may want to experiment with their sexuality in order to satisfy their feelings of being different. I remember a lad who flirted with the idea of being gay for a while but I think it was because he knew a gay couple and liked the image. As far as I was aware at the time he was still young and 'non-sexual', I don't know whether he ended up having gay relationships but everything he told us was just nonsense. I don't think you give the guy you know enough credit for having his own mind. I can believe that people go through with straight marriages when they are really gay but not the other way round because unfortunately there is still prejudice towards gay people. Not all gay men follow the stereo-type you have described!
2007-02-23 10:32:06 · answer #5 · answered by cinders 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If peer pressure had any kind of an influence, it was in making this guy "act straight" for the benefit of his "buds," even though he was gay all along. Can't see that, can you, even though it's staring you right in the face?
Maybe "peer pressure" is so powerful that it's forcing you to deny common logic.
And for your information, being gay is being attracted to members of your own sex, not what you wear or don't wear. There are no "gay characteristics". Guys have worn earrings for years without being gay. In the "olden days", macho men wore tights and lace!
2007-02-23 10:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
I'm a nice guy, I was on the baseball team, the track team, the wrestling team, the tennis team and the golf team, I didnt wear earrings in high school and I didnt then nor do I now "do makeup".....but I was and am gay.....so none of those reasons you gave prove that he wasnt gay to begin with....we are not all in dance and yelling "jazz hands" every five minutes and painting our faces with eyeliner.....we are just as different and diverse as any other culture
perhaps he hung out with that crowd because they werent judgmental and he felt comfortable because even though he was a "jock" as you seem to be implying and so macho......he still likes d.ick and didnt have to worry about this "wrong crowd" of earring wearing makeup wearing fairies treating him like something is wrong with him
he might not have ever been honest with you or any of your buddies because he knew how you'd react
2007-02-23 10:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Huh? 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like you didn't know this guy all that well while you were in school. He got along and hung out with people with "gay characteristics", was allowed to be who he is without any outside pressure. Rather then him getting involved with the "wrong crowd" it sounds like he was with the right crowd for himself.
2007-02-23 10:34:22 · answer #8 · answered by J J 5 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I think people are born gay--and people stay in the closet because of peer pressure. People don't become gay because of peer pressure, but I think the reverse is true--people become straight because of peer pressure.
2007-02-23 12:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by happybibottom 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being gay is an matter of what gender to which your libido responds. That is an involuntary response, and can't be controlled. It is therefor not possible to be pressured into being gay. A person can be pressured into performing same sex acts, but if that is not their preference they are still not gay.
2007-02-23 13:14:01 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋