Why do some treat their ex wives like dirt while others go out of their way to re-establish a relationship with her? I am trying to understand my ex's behaviour. I have tried to distance myself from him - only deal with him when I have to (when it is about our kids). It is easier this way. However, he seems to want to be friends! Why? Does it help him deal with his guilt? I guess if you can tell other people that you get along with your ex then they will think that having an affair and leaving must have been the right thing to do. And what about the other woman? I think if I was in that situation I would be concerned about a man who appeared to want to be friends with his ex and who went out of his way to do things for her. Especially when the ex wife has made it clear that she is interested in being co-parents and that is it. Any insights into the behavior of cheating ex-husbands???
2007-02-23 02:17:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Although it is better for the kids if their divorced parents can get along and be friends, I can understand why you are not willing to be friends with your ex husband. He may just want you two to be cordial because of having to deal with each other regarding the children you two have. As long as you two are respectful to one another and keep your conversations with matter regarding your children, then I see no reason you two should be friend. After all, he threw his friendship card away when he cheated with that other woman. .
2007-02-23 02:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the very reasons that i'm divorcing my husband. You are right, why should he even give a **** about you? Just take care of the kids and move on with your life, cause remember....thats why he left you. men are ignorant. They really don't know what to do. They dont know wheather to feel guilty about leaving you and the kids and they sure as heel dont know about pleasing the new wife. My advice to any woman thinking about being a second wife. drink before you think. after that...you'd probably come up with 4 million reasons why you shouldn't marry the sloppy pig.
2007-02-23 02:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by toonice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are taking his actions another way. Maybe his actions are clearly just the co-parenting.
Sometimes it is easier to take things at face value. Men are pretty straight forward - being nice, simply means that he is being nice.
He could be a dirt ball and treat you like crap - like so many "ex" do to one another.....
I would preferr the getting along and I know that your children will BENEFIT from those actions!
2007-02-23 02:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by WhatNext 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am friends with my ex husband even though we did not have kids. I am friends with him because I feel sorry for him......for what an idiot he is and how he messed up his life. I was very nice to his girlfriend (before she dumped him) just so she would stay with him and he would not bother me a lot.
You must have gone through a lot of pain with that situation. I don't know if I could forgive it. I do not think either one of them deserve you to even look in their direction.
2007-02-23 02:24:25 · answer #4 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, everyone is different.....people cheat for all sorts of reasons...some men cheat because they value sex more than love, others cheat because they are unhappy in their current relationship. I dont know which one your ex is, but he wants to remain friends with you. Do you think he is sincere? Maybe he wants to hang onto you just in case this new relationship doesnt work out. You probably know your ex more than anyone on here would know, so trust your instincts....why do you think he wants to remain friends with you? Do you really think it is to ease his guilty conscience? I dont think so....I think he is hedging his bets...You were tried and true...you were his wife....there is a lot of history and probably children involved...this new woman is the unknown.....he doesnt know if it is going to work out or not. I dont mean to bignote myself here, but I believe women are far stronger than men. I think we are very capable of moving on. Men, on the other hand are much more insecure, I believe, and dont feel worthwhile unless they have a good woman by their side. Hes not ready to give you up totally, but it sounds to me like you are far stronger than him, so trust your gut instinct...knows he is insecure and wonders if he made the right choice. Stick to your guns....he made the decision to cheat and leave the marriage, so he needs to take total responsibility of what may or may not happen from here on in and you cannot be his security blanket just in case it doesnt work out. I could be totally wrong, but it has been my experience that men dont cope very well on their own.....and its not only from my own experiences....statistics also say that men more so than women will go from one relationship into another pretty quickly. I dont believe he wants to remain friends with you....I think he is using you as a back-up, in case his current relationship goes wrong. You sound like a pretty together woman, and I think youve worked this out before I said anything.
2007-02-23 02:34:04 · answer #5 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is trying to make amends and assure your kids have two healthy parents... ie like no fighting,arguing in front of them
2007-02-23 02:23:19 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He realizes his mistakes,and is trying to cover the quilt of his actions,
2007-02-23 02:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by Goodfellar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's water under the BRIDGE. Why not be FRIENDS. Unless of course you are very INSECURE
2007-02-23 02:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no first hand knowledge of this, but i would have to assume that it is his guilty feelings coming to bear on the situation.
2007-02-23 03:19:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men want what they want, he wants to keep u xtra close in case the other women gets tired of him r it just dont work anymore
2007-02-23 02:23:05 · answer #10 · answered by pretty black 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋