why does a discussion between wife and husband turns to arugments?

Answer 1

Because both of you think you are right. Its not about who is right, but accepting that both of you have different ideas on things. You need to respect each others points of view...You can disagree, sure, but dont automatically think you are right....its this that causes arguments. If you can accept that he is a different person to you and he sees things differently, will you finally understand that he will never accept your point of view if you are pushing your point of view as the only conceivable point of view. Discussion is great, but only if you accept the other persons point of view.....Im not saying, agree with his/her point of view. Im saying respect the fact that both of you see things differently...he sees he is right, you see you are right....but who is really right and does it really matter. Discussion is just another way of openly communicating....If your sole purpose of communicating with your spouse is to win, then the art of honest communication is lost....and its a power struggle of who is right and who is wrong. And who can really say who is right and who is wrong considering you are two individuals from two entirely different backgrounds. Understand and respect your spouse will have different opinions to yourself and maybe the arguements will stop. Sometimes the best ending to any discussion is to agree to disagree.

Answer 2

there comes a hot point in a marriage, at either 2 years or 7 years. something in you tells you to test the strength of the relationship. during your next discussion, start with 'i need very much for this to be a discussion tht produces positive thought and resolution. i need for this to be peaceful. i respect your thought processes and want your input.' that usually makes a person feel less defensive. dont use any accusing words. use the 'i feel' technique when talking. a marriage counsellor could help you implement this. if you work for a major corporation, they will have a family counselling benefit that you can utilize, usually for free. marriage counselling should be done before there is a total breakdown. just like your car. doesnt mean you are about to be getting a divorce, means you care not to get a divorce. everything needs maintenance sometimes.

Answer 3

Perhaps it's because you don't have a clue about how to conduct yourself with fairness and equality in a real conversation.

You can get books on the subject - there are plenty of them out there - and if you're having a bad time with this in your relationship(s), you really ought to study-up a tad.

Conversation is a practiced art and it's a darn good people skill to have under your belt if you're interested in ever getting ahead in this world, while arguing and behaving as if yours is the only functioning brain in a conversation is a very commonly made juvenile error - one which characterizes the poorer and other inadequate would-be conversationalists. And for goodness sakes, a "discussion" that's all fired up with emotion and lack any degree of reason at all isn't a conversation. Knowing the difference is step #1 to solving the problem.

Good luck.

[][][] r u randy? [][][]
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Answer 4

Because you are two people who have a lot of responsibilities together and sometimes the pressure is overwhelming. Bills, work, kids, house, cars, family, decisions to make. It can be overwhelming sometimes. If you are newly married, it may be worse. After awhile you learn how to compromise and to not fight about small things. You find out it's not worth it. And also, sometimes one is a little selfish and stubborn and it just happens. There's about a million reasons why a married couple would argue. But true love and compassion, should win out in the end and all will be well. I guess the divorce rate being over 50% would tell you a lot of true love and compassion did not win out in most marriages! To make a marriage work, you cannot be SELFISH. It just won't work.

Answer 5

It has to do with fact that most couples don't resolve issues completely, one usually gives in for the sake of further argument , then that person carries that animosity to the next conflict, and the arguments become more and more heated as time goes on, so a simple act of leaving the seat up( or something as frivolous) becomes as heated an issue as lying or cheating. Couples therapy, counseling but, both parties have to be willing to admit their role in the dis-functionality of the relationship, Takes two to tango!

Answer 6

Anger management might help. Instead of shouting to odds why not just back-down a little and if the matter cannot be resolved by logical argument agree to disagree. In my experience real arguments are down to the selfishness or dishonesty of one party.

Answer 7

I cant believe you and your other don't have the energy to REFUSE to ARGUE. End of Story. If you have children and their watching this !THEN SHAME ON YOU. To Me sounds like you guys need to exercise and pass love around and not bitter words that destroy your physical and mental health.

Paytair
PS.
In Hungarian they have a saying that goes like this:
" Rass meg a fey ed "
Which translate to
" Give your head a shake"

Time to put positive energy into this. Get To It !.

Answer 8

that's not only with husband and wife.....its with just about everyone. but you're right, no matter what my husband and i discuss it always turns into an argument!

Answer 9

Unresolved past issues. A lot of couples who fight constantly has deep resentments towards each other. Perhaps old baggage from past relationships.

Answer 10

One or both have ceased giving the other the benefit of the doubt.