Don't the wedding vows mean ANYTHING to anyone anymore?
I waited a long time to get married so I could find the right person and also to make sure I was ready for a lifetime commitment.
My brother, on the other hand, has been married to 4 different women and has cheated on all of them.
What is the point of getting married if you want to play around?
You can do THAT without getting married.
2007-02-23 01:57:53 · 9 answers · asked by opjames 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The problem with this question is that it assumes a lot about what marriage is or should be that doesn't hold up when you take it to the full extent of the question. Very few people get married with the idea that they will be celibate, but at the same time it's possible to end up in a situation where what you've suggested makes that necissary. Consider: what if your wife went into a comma? How long would you really wait? How much blame would you put on a person for divorcing in this situation and moving on? And yet, how fair is that to the person who wakes up five years later and discovers that she's divorced and the man she loves has moved on with life and is married to another girl? And how fair is it to his new wife that his ex suddenly wakes up, and is still madly in love with her (now) ex husband and he never lost any feelings for her?
Okay, maybe waking up from a comma seems too far fetched... how about go back a few hundred years, what about the people who came from the old world to the new world, sometimes the man would come over before his family, and every penny he earned beyond what it took to feed and cloth himself was sent home so his family could save enough money to move over with him. Sometimes, they didn't even spare the expense to send letters. These people were celebate for years, even though they were married!
There's no such thing as a "normal" situation. Every marriage has special challenges and special problems. Sometimes the problems are common, other times they're bizare. In either case, it's up to the couple to figure out how to deal with them. Some of the more common ways of dealing with some of the more common problems have always seemed unfair to me, and my wife felt the same way, so when we got married we decided to find other, more creative solutions to them.
Your brother probably didn't intend to cheat when he got married. He fell into some kind of trap. It may have been a trap he laid himself: he might be the kind of man who enjoys the company of women and just got "too cozy" with someone. It might be the kind of trap laid by society: marriage is regarded as dull and safe in our society (which is a lie, but still) and he may have wanted to prove that he was exciting and dangerous. It may have been a trap laid by his wife: she may have set up a situation to see if he would cheat when deprived of his needs and put alone with a beutiful woman. I've seen it all, and frankly, it doesn't mater, it means that he didn't prepare for his marriage. He didn't plan to fail, but he did fail to plan. That failure was what caused his marriage to fail.
It sounds like you have planned well with your wife, and I wish you all the best. In the future, instead of criticizing your brother, you might try helping him to plan for his next marriage as you have planned for yours.
2007-02-23 05:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you 100%. They say "once a cheater, always a cheater" and it seems to ring true in your brother's case.
Maybe he thinks each relationship he enters into will be different, just to find he repeats the same mistakes over and over again.
I can't speak for other people but, I don't know if they truly enter a marriage knowing that they're going to cheat....if that was really the case then, they will have to expect a very expensive type of lifestyle because of the divorces they have to pay for.
2007-02-23 10:16:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people think they aren't anything or anybody unless they are married. I have never had a man be completely faithful to me. Now that I am older, I realize I kept marrying jerks. Your brother sounds like one of my exes. A real heart breaker!
2007-02-23 10:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
convenience marriages...they happen all the time. To me...it makes no sense.
Small world I will have to say...my brother has been married five times...five divorces. He has had affairs every time when he was married to all of them.
His first wife hit on me one time...she came straight out and asked me if I wanted to "f" her and I soon got the picture.
No way I am going to mess with someone that is married, especially my brothers wife. My brother is addicted to sex...for some reason he basis marriage around total sex.
Makes no sense but we ain't all perfect.
2007-02-23 10:09:41 · answer #4 · answered by Magicman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh thats a good one, I wonder this all of the time. I think some of those jerks just want to make sure they have a place to come home to when they get into a fight with their ho on the side. Also who else is gonna do their laundry, cook, clean, remind them of their relatives B-days,buy them deoderant, Q-tips, etc. Also if children involved they sure as heck don't want to pay child support. Men are just dirty....dirty DOGS.
2007-02-23 10:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by DropTopAle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That, my friend, is one of life's many mysteries. I was totally faithful to my husband throughout the entire marriage but he felt the need to have girlfriends on the side. *SIGH* I wouldn't even go on a date with another man until after my divorce was finalized.
2007-02-23 10:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by Jayna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who can understand why people do what they do. Maybe your brother knows that been married to a woman, she will be cooking for him taking care of him and all that stuff. Very sad he does not appreciated. He don't know what it is to love somebody because if he did he would not be doing that.
2007-02-23 10:09:11 · answer #7 · answered by Twilight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they dont wanna grow up
2007-02-23 10:20:37 · answer #8 · answered by pennietrudie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This falls under the umbrella of "MINDYOUROWNFUCKINGBUSINESS!"
2007-02-23 10:24:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋