Answer this, why are some people so quick to judge others when a person makes a mistake, like cheat, If a person cheats there are reasons for that, not to defend a reason for it but if a person does it, it dosent mean that they will do it again if they process the situation. and isnt love unconditional? some people need to stop and think because people are not perfect and neither is true love, but true love is unconditional and can be workedout no matter what, or do you guy truely believe that one error and its over cause if thats the case YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN IN TRUE LOVE!!!
2007-02-23 01:30:46 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not all cheaters are caught it takes something to bring to the attention of your mate and talk about things, that means that a person has processed the situation, its not that I was caught I realized IT WAS WRONG this yahoo is soo funny when people answer these questions LIKE THEY KNOW
2007-02-23 01:49:43 · update #1
i beleive once a cheater always a cheater why would you even do it in the first place if you love that person?
2007-02-23 01:34:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the circumstances, people are quick to judge. If someone has cheated, and their dirty laundry has been put out there, then it is natural for people to form an opinion. As far as unconditional love, I'm not sure. I think the only love that is unconditional is the love a parent has for a child. In every other case, their is always a line in the sand. Again, if someone cheats, and you take them back...shame on them for cheating. But if they cheat a second time then it's shame on you. If the one who has been cheated on continues this pattern, it just says they are not very confident in themselves and can't seem to function without having this person, who has done them wrong, out of their lives because of comfort reasons. And if the cheater continues to cheat, then it says that they don't value their partner. They aren't important enough to stay faithful.
It's unfortunate that you think unconditional love goes hand in had with true love.
2007-02-23 09:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by Tee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are always reasons when someone cheats (a person who is happy in a relationship doesn’t cheat) but, merely in my personal opinion, there are no *justified* reasons for cheating. If you’re unhappy, get out of the relationship FIRST before moving on to the next one.
It’s been my personal observation that those that cheat once, very often do it again. The fact that they did cheat shows a lot about their character (or lack thereof). With that said, I have known of cases where people cheated, were *genuinely* sorry for it, and it didn’t happen again. That’s rare though.
Love is unconditional? What if your lover beat the h*ll out of you every time they got angry with you? You’d accept that because ‘love is unconditional’?
I hope you find a good, decent person, because with the attitude of ‘love is completely unconditional’, then you’re basically giving another person permission to walk all over top of you.
2007-02-23 09:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is more than a simple error, and I have seen marriages where one spouse has cheated, and they worked through their problems and today are happily married with grandchildren. HOWEVER, the amount of work it took these two people to get over ALL that happened was daunting, and most people I know would NOT be willing to go through all that. It was painful for both parties, and their children. And it took the cheated upon spouse MANY years to be able to trust the other spouse again. MANY MANY years here, not just 1 or 2.
Adultery is a basic violation of trust in a marriage, which is why most marriages don't survive it. It's a symptom of something deeper problematic in the marriage as well--which is ANOTHER reason most marriages don't survive an affair, there's something else wrong anyway.
Being in love is not a guarantee of a healthy, happy marriage, it takes so much more than that. Unfortunately, people today don't really know WHAT makes a happy marriage, or should I say they're not willing to do it alot of the time. Most marriages break apart due to 1 simple thing...selfishness. One (usually both) parties get selfish, starting thinking about "me" and that's generally death for the marriage, because in marriage you don't think "me," you think "we."
2007-02-23 09:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
every situation is different. you have to admit a lot of guys are not like you they will continue to cheat as long as the girl allows it. i believe that if cheating occurs both of you have failed at something. for example you were weak and maybe you need more sexual freedom maybe she was too uptight and wasnt giving what you need maybe ur a jerk maybe yall had miscommunication problems. i would tell anybody dont base your decision off of a yahoo answer you can take it as an insight on your relationship from the outside so you can have an objective look. nobody can tell me whats right or wrong for my relationship. in the end it leads down to trusting your heart and you can love someone unconditionally but doesnt mean you gotta work through everything. i love my ex unconditional. we aint together and we will probaly never get back together (i'm engaged now) he is a great person but he is not for me.but i love him i'm there for him when he needs me and he does the same we got eachother back no matter what and our signifacat others think we still IN love. not true we just got love for eachother and we have no children together we just been through so much i cant let him out my life like that
2007-02-23 10:18:15 · answer #5 · answered by peachez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally people quick judge for any wrong doing of any body, so if some body cheat and you judge the person is not wrong no matter the reason that will make the person to cheat is bad that means is bad.
whether true love or no true love, no one can be perfect like Jesus in this world.
we only do the little we can and live the rest. I don't think any one can be in true love but let try and respect the little one we can give to love than breaking that little trust you have put into the love. so my dear once any one try to cheat the first time, he may do it second time and give you reason again for doing it.
2007-02-23 10:10:57 · answer #6 · answered by uki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course there are reasons to cheat; lust, anger, resentment, retaliation, etc. But no reason to cheat on the person you so called "love" is valid. If the partner chooses to forgive that person then fine, but they are not obligated to do so TRUE LOVE or not. However, if you are married I believe you should give the person at least a chance (for better or worse right?). I am certain that your feelings for this person will change slightly and the relationship may never be the same whether he/she ever cheats again.
Cheating is not something you do by mistake, you consciously make a decison to be intimate with a person that is not your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend. It's not an accident either, you are not walking down the street and all of a sudden you fall on someone and start having sex with them. The problem with cheating is that people tend not to blame themselves for improper behavior and it's very difficult to forgive someone who does not own up to the act itself without making excuses.
2007-02-23 09:50:26 · answer #7 · answered by questiongirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its not only about unconditional love, it is also about trust and respect. By cheating you have broken the trust and disrespected your spouse or significant other. Trust and respect are earned..... With your definition of unconditional love gives a free pass to walk all over the other person and expect to be forgiven, if only life worked that way my friend. Causing pain and suffer to loved ones is not unconditional love, its just being selfish. If your situation is that bad, then get out of it and then do what you feel like, but until you are in a relationship no matter how bad it is show some decency and respect.
2007-02-23 09:49:17 · answer #8 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you cheat you have compromised your relationship for a cheap thrill. You know no limits or boundaries did not stop to think of the other person's feelings when you decide to have an illicit affair. I hardly think this sounds like true love. This sounds like an excuse for what you did. Since you have cheated on the person you profess to loving so much, that means that the probability will be that you will do it again. The reason is because you said there are reasons for that. That means there will be other reasons for you to look for to give you the permission to cheat.
2007-02-23 09:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree 100%. I do believe that my husband and I are truley in love and that we love each other unconditionally...but yes...he cheated last year. The circumstances surrounding it were fairly extreme. He was away from hme for many months doing relief work in Mississippi. We live in NC. There was no housing down there so me and my son could not go. Our relationship suffered tremendously from the distance. He was down there alone in a very depressing place, I on the other hand was here and 'bitched' at him everytime we spoke about all the things I was having to put up with. It was easier to lash out than to 'miss him'. He made a stupid, selfish choice while down there with a woman that I believe completely took advantage of the situation and was very manipulative. after speaking with her numerous times, I realized all she wanted was the "win" over some other woman and would go to any lengths to get it. I am not blaming it all on her...for we all played a part. but she made it very easy...especially in our difficult situation. He came home after the job and I found out and he was truley sorry, remorseful etc. He STILL struggles with his guilt. I discovered Yahoo Answers and posted question after question...all I got was "once a cheater, always a cheater" or dump the loser, or you deserve better. How do they know? He is wonderful! A great father, husband, and provider, who just happened to screw up. These people on here...to hear them..are perfect and never make mistakes. Truth is, you dont know what you would do unless you were in the situation, and NO situation is ever the same. He never stopped loving me...this I believe...it took time to realize that...but I do. Yeah, he broke a vow...but will it help matters for us to also break "for better or worse". I have forgiven him, and we are doing great. Never better. We do not take a sigle day for granted. I am so glad I did not listen to all these PERFECT people on here. I have since resorted to using Yahoo for entertainment purposes, and trying to be compassionate for people that post questions about infedility, because I know the kind of answers they will get. That is what is wrong with the world today...everybody gives up...takes the easy way out. If you ask me that is as selfish as actually having the affair. Why arent people willing to "work" to save marriages? Beats me, I am so glad we saved ours. 13 yrs is hard to just "give up" on over one mistake. Everyone deserves a second chance.
2007-02-23 10:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In true love you will not cheat because you will not even think about being with another person.
In life you can cheat but in love you cannot.
And people may cheat but that just shows that they are not ready for a commitment, for marriage.
When I was with other men I did not love them because when i tested my love, by going to another man, I failed the test.
Now that i am with the man I love I cannot do the things i did in my childhood.
Yes I am truly in love and I know what love is and I have made mistakes and I learned from those mistakes but once a man or woman cheats on their other, I believe there is no hope because your feelings change and everything changes, trust changes.
2007-02-23 09:42:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋