I have been with this woman for a over a year and we planned to get married. She's 33 and I'm 24. She has a mental condition but she told me recently about it. Her family, she and myself thinks she has bipolar disorder. She has been on medications before but she stopped. She did not tell me until her family told me.
This condition makes her unstable and her mood swings are extreme. It also make her do crazy things -at least she says it's the reason- like talking to other guys about loving them and wanting to marry them. She's so insecure and materialistic who made a hell out of the diamond size of the engagement ring and she knows I'm still a student. She once left and lived with a guy she met on a plan after a night where I stayed all next to the bed when she was sick to giver her medications in time, making her warm drinks, warm & massage her and cooked for her.
She says she wants professional help but she never seek it but it's only words. what should I do?
2007-02-22 23:09:54 · 10 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She says she never had anyone like me in her life and without me she would not have survived. But I live in a daily dilemma, one minute I'm this great person and next moment I'm a sick person and leaving then coming back apologizing.
She says she can't get through professional help without me but she is not getting any professional help, she just says she will but she never make any action or accept anyone help her make any actions.
She is abroad working for no reason except she said I need a time alone to heal but every time another country for little time and turns out she's meeting another guy and come apologizing and ask for another chance. I have been like this for more than a year now.
I truly love her but I'm going crazy myself, plus staying in other countries and coming every couple of months is not helping her condition or our situation. Her family asks for my help thinking that I'm a medical student I could handle her good. What should I do?
2007-02-22 23:15:14 · update #1
I want to hear many opinions, please.
All opinions are appreciated, I'd like to hear girls' opinion it's important to me.
2007-02-22 23:16:30 · update #2
She was in abusive relationship before, she had addiction problems in the past as well as has been under sexual assaults years ago.
I feel like I'm responsible for her like a daughter and I truly love her.
I have been so patient and tolerant for over a year, what I have been describing happens almost on daily basis except the first few days after getting back together. The longest time we were kind of going well was for less than a month.
I'm sorry for the very long story, but I'm so confused and I want to make a decision.
Thank you all for reading and responding
2007-02-22 23:24:09 · update #3
When she makes such things like talking to other guys she start apologizing and saying it was big mistake but after I soften up she start saying it was not cheating and not wrong, which is worse than making the mistake itself; defending and justifying it. It's like endless cycles.
Please, I need more opinions, I'm hesitating to leave her but she is making it very hard even to give me the chance to help her.
2007-02-23 00:02:47 · update #4
I forgot to say, she's the first woman to be this close to and this serious on all levels specially intimacy. I don't have casual sex and believe sex should be only within marriage but this rule was broken with her. I think this makes me more attached to her. I don't know, I don't want to disappoint her or let her ruin her life but it does seem working this way because she does not give me the chance to help her. I'm sorry for sounding so confused and hesitant.
2007-02-23 01:06:44 · update #5
I think it's better for you to leave her. First, she is way, way much older than you and the big issue is that she has a mental problem. Are you sure you really love that woman or maybe just a sympathy? She's scary! It isn't your responsibility to make her feel better. It should be herself and her family as well. I think they are just using you to make her feel better just because she says she can't bear without you, that is selfish AND absolutely CRAZY! Why she didn't tell you about her mental condition? Don't you think it isn't right? I think she doesn't love you, she's sick. If you married that woman you would probably have a miserable marriage life. Break it to her gently. There is no love in her believe me! She just need you but doesn't love you. Don't be so naive and gullible you sound like a decent, nice guy you deserve someone who is normal, logical and decent person like you. Good luck!
2007-02-23 00:34:34 · answer #1 · answered by Arianne 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
as a doctor i should tell u she needs serious help as fast as possible or this would become way worse that it would reach very uncontrolible! as another way ur just 24 and she is 33 and she need a man in her age to control and give her what she wants! the right thing to do is that to get her into medication and make sure they wont let her go! and u should leave her and consuntrate on ur studies after all when u finish ur studies search for a job get settled and she will be alright by then! if this continues u both will be broken into million little pieces and beyond repair!
2007-02-22 23:25:47 · answer #2 · answered by moi!!!! 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know a young man who is in exactly your situation. She is a ditzy Canadian and he is a serious Muslim in North Africa. The way she treats him is disgusting but he will not dump her!
Love is not just blind... sometimes it is downright idiotic and makes fools of the wisest people.
My friend is just too dense at times to listen to wisdom.
I hope you listen to me.
Your BOSS would not like you to ruin your life on this woman. She has to take responsibility for herself. By blaming everyone else she evades the issue.
It will not get better.
You are young, you want babies. She will not make a good mother. Your life will be hell. RUN.
2007-02-23 03:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by Noor al Haqiqa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you should do is run in the opposite direction.....she is not going to get help and you will always be unhappy living the roller coaster ride that is ahead of you....do not let her manipulate or guilt trip you....you are young and have your whole life ahead of you....find someone who will share your life not make it a burden.....good luck...start running....now
2007-02-22 23:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Run away from this situation! I don't say that b/c she is bipolar. I say it b/c she blames everything on that but doesn't take her meds. My sister is like that and trust me it will get worse. Seriously don't walk away...RUN!
2007-02-23 01:10:14 · answer #5 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to assess what you want ,and if this woman is what you want then go for it.
Love is a tricky thing and not everyone is perfect.
hope that help you.
2007-02-22 23:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, You should not marry her and best of all, just break up with her! But let her down gently!
2007-02-22 23:15:46 · answer #7 · answered by Gerry 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not to break balls, but ALL women have some sort of mental condition; it's just to what degree you are willing to put up with her particular condition.
If you are very tolerant, easy going, and have a lot of patience, you'll probably have a happy life, if not, run away NOW.
2007-02-22 23:18:44 · answer #8 · answered by mrjomorisin 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I think you should leave her. She's not helping herself or letting her family or you to help her.
2007-02-22 23:19:06 · answer #9 · answered by M. Shaaban 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
follow your instincts
2007-02-22 23:21:52 · answer #10 · answered by faceless one 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋