Does anyone think shyness is a plus or a minus in someone's personality? I'm plagued with shyness and I think

Question

people might think of me as a loser.

Answer 1

I am extremely shy. I know that people in the past have thought me a nasty person or that I hated them simply because I would have trouble talking to them or looking them in the eye.
I recently found out that I'd even given that impression to my best friend, who stopped visiting me because I looked put out and ill at ease when she was there - which I was, but not for the reasons she thought! - and that I musn't like her much anymore.
Any decent person understands shyness and will go out of their way to make you feel more comfortable. The only thing is that there are sometimes these misunderstandings where people mis-diagnose your awkwardness for a dislike of them or an unlikeable personality.
Stick with the people who see you for who you are :)

Answer 2

I don't see it as a plus or a minus. I certainly don't ever think a shy person is a loser - I generally try and make them feel more comfortable in a situation but everyone's different. I'm afraid I'm the total opposite but age and experience has taught me I can be a little scary for those less confident than I am so I do work hard to be less overbearing and to make those quieter people more comfortable.

I'm guessing you're shy because of self-confidence. I hope you can manage to work on that enough to realise that if anyone thinks you're a loser for any reason then they're certainly not worth your time or worry.

Answer 3

When you say you are afraid of being thought a loser, you put your finger on the problem. You care too much about what they think, without stopping to reflect how little they in fact think about the words and behaviour of anyone around them. If you are finding it difficult to make conversation, just bear this in mind: what people most like to talk about is themselves. If you are a good listener and you encourage them to do this, you'll find that they like you and gradually your focus will turn away from yourself and that shyness which is dogging you and towards other people. Shyness makes you more observant and more sensitive in your dealings with others. Perhaps some of the people you are in fear of are themselves shy. It is surprising how many people who have to stand up and perform in public are shy: actors and lawyers being examples. They turn away from themselves and focus on the job at hand. You could start by thinking of how your task is to make people feel happy about themselves. Maybe a simple compliment about what they are wearing might start the ball rolling. How could a positive remark like that mark you down as a loser? As time goes on, you'll find that you are less and less concerned with what other people think. Keep trying! Better a shy, sensitive person than a loud, domineering one!

Answer 4

I was very shy when I was younger. I was the one that sat in the corner and never said a word. But over the years it has given me the opportunity to sit back and watch others before I say anything or make rash judgements.
So for me, its been a blessing and certainly not in any way would I ever say it would make someone a loser.
He/She who is overly confident has more problems of that I can guarentee.
Blur who said ... Confidence is a Preference. They may be close, as with age comes experiance, with experiance comes knowledge, with knowledge comes confidence. But to be confident does not necessarilly make for anything better, it just propels you to the firing line.
So be shy, be you, dont go worrying about what others make of it. The sensible ones will only be thinking you are thinking things through, which at the end of the day is a better way.

Answer 5

Seems to me you have a cross-section of good answers already. I used to be painfully shy - especially of girls ! But now I'm a teacher and no-one ever describes me as shy, though I am still a very quiet personality. Shy, demure and modest are often placed together, but if we take a hard look at it shyness is a form of self-centredness that can, bit by bit, be dealt with by looking up and looking out.

Answer 6

I'm plagued by shyness too. However some times I feel confident so it makes me believe that I can change if I just maintain a positive attitude.

Answer 7

Generally its good because it is better to say nothing then to say something which humiliates tou, hurts others etc. But sometimes being shy is exposed to others as being arrogant but once they get to know you they soon understand.

However there are situations where shyness is not good for example to not speak out when you see evil, for example not objecting to crimes and lies etc.

Shyness is correlated to modesty and is a honourable quality which people in this day and age find it difficult, they rather show of as mush as they can be it their clevage or theyre brains or their girlfriends.

Be your self but know when to be firm.

See ya

Answer 8

I think being shy can be a plus point. Personally I think before I speak because I know that my words have consequences. I sometimes wish more people could do that, instead of just blurting anything and everything out. So yes, I am more quiet, but I don't see it as a negative and I don't think you should either.

Answer 9

I think its definatly just a lack of confidence. Ive known many people who used to be really shy, and have overcome it. Likewise, with me im really shy but sometimes I just put on a front and do my best to overcome it. I feel like if it was a PT then there would be no way of getting round it, but there is :) Everyone will grow in confidence, it just takes some longer than others I guess :)

Answer 10

Nothing wrong with you, a bit of shyness is a plus. Better than being an [in your face] person, here i mean something like those girls who walk around behaving like they have no manners. No, i think you are fine, dont change ok:)))