I found messages from another woman on my hubby's phone - I asked him about it. He said there was only one messages but I know there is more and they are a bit more than friendly. I don't know what to do know because if I say I know there is more he will know that I have looking at his phone, something I have never done. Just dont know what to do!!!
2007-02-22 22:47:22 · 37 answers · asked by Ditzy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well are you allowed to look at the bill ???It has all calls on it ..take it from there
2007-02-22 22:50:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hi, Oh dear, i know exactly how you feel, ok you dont want to confront him just yet keep records of what you found and when you found it. I did this i even had hotel bills. My husband even then denied it when i confronted him. So i just bided my time and in the end they get clumsy and start making mistakes i eventually got my husband on a bluff, he left 4 years ago and i havent seen him since . But be sure, and you know a wife always has the intuition we know when something is going on. IF he is with someone else, it is very hard and emotions will run high. So remember the last thing anyone needs is a cheater ,once a cheater always a cheater. I may sound bitter but honest i have never been happier i live MY life now, i have my two grown up children and life couldn't be better. GOOD LUCK to YOUx
2007-02-23 05:49:25 · answer #2 · answered by kevina p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you Can get hold of his phone have a look to see if there are any numbers that you do not recognise or ones that he rings a lot, check your home phone bill for any numbers not recognised by you.Do a little digging yourself ring him at work if you can when he is suppose to be working late, or if hes out with the lads next time you see one of them say (ie pete was really drunk the other night when out with you lot) watch the face and listen to the reply, this may give you some inclination.Check bank statements and go through pockets for receipts.Or you could just accept his answer.
2007-02-23 02:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your asking him about it lets the cat out of the bag. He's denying it. It's your move now.
I suggest you sit him down as soon as possible for a SERIOUS discussion. Whatever you do, don't just sit there accusing him of cheating. Really tell him what you are feeling. Tell him, "I need to talk to you about the phone messages and I need you to listen to me first about this, then, when I have said what I need to say, I will listen to you, okay?" Then say, "Your explanation was not satisfactory to me. I feel as though you are smoothing this over and something is going on between you and other women. This makes me feel very unhappy and sad. I feel betrayed and you just sweeping this under the carpet like it shouldn't matter and not taking this seriously is hurting our relationship."
You get the idea. Use your own words, but don't make it about YOU did this and YOU did that, because you won't get anywhere with him.
Good luck.
2007-02-22 22:57:01 · answer #4 · answered by Pixie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't usually look at his phone but did so this time my guess is you had your suspicions. Instincts are usually right. it could be that this has been a bit of phone flirting that will now stop as you have caught him out. Do you know the woman? You could try ringing her or facing her and asking why she is sending these messages. Burying your head in the sand wont make it go away. Been there, done that!
2007-02-22 22:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by garfish 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey my sister-in-law has gone thru the same problem. At first she used to be like u. Do not want to confront him but when asked he lied. But she had put her foot down. If you want to save your marriage, get all the prove like his phone bills, and traces of sms and confront him. Ask him for his phone and chck it in front of him. Check his bill on a monthly routine. And give suprises by showing up in places he go. Of course not everywhere but certain places u can go and suspect he might not be alone. After all marriages is all about trust, if u dont have it, clear the air and let ur husband decide. If he wants the family she should leave other women for other men and stay faithful like you are to him. All the Best to you.
2007-02-22 22:53:26 · answer #6 · answered by Veronica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares if you looked at his phone! You shouldnt be frightened to tell him that you did. He probably already knows you have anyways, so just lay it all out on the table. No secrets in a marriage, and thats what He has done. You need to tell him about all the other text messages you saw, and see what He says. If he is just texting this girl, then tell him to stop, or you will file for divorce. You should never risk your relationship and still allow him to do it. Its a marriage, not a dating hotline.
Be strong, im sorry it happened to you.
2007-02-22 22:55:07 · answer #7 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe wait a while and just keep an eye on things and if it continues then surely it would be worth the risk of him finding out you were checking his phone. is it a ready to go phone or a bill phone, if it's a bill phone it itemises all the numbers rang and also all the numbers that were texted you could confront him with this.
2007-02-22 23:11:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
from experience, you both need to sit down and be totally open and honest about everything. it's not going to get sorted out properly otherwise. talk like adults and dont blame each other and dont hold anything back, if some little detail is bothering you get it out in the open. otherwise you will totally lose the trust and respect for each other and you will find yourself constantly checking his phone or bill or whatever. in the long run it will be better for the both of you. you dont want to live a life where you feel you have to sneak around behind his back to find things out. also if you do do this you might see or find something and get the totally wrong idea about it. hope this helps
2007-02-22 23:02:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to look, put it this way, whats more worrying to you, the fact that your husband thinks you are a snoop or that you know he's lying about another woman. I know which one i would be worried about. Who cares what your husband thinks, he's doing the dirty, confront him again, put your foot down, don't let him treat you badly for snooping in his phone, because he is doing something much worse, he's just trying to weasle out of it by making you feel bad for snooping.
Good luck, P.s - i'd follow him next time he goes out!
2007-02-22 23:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a hammer to his phone, these things are the scurge of relationships, whatever did people do before text messaging. You have every right to check his phone, if he has nothing to hide then what's the big deal. So what if you look at his phone, serves him right if he is cheating. You sound as if you are scared of this man.
2007-02-22 22:56:43 · answer #11 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋