im petrified to have another baby as i had a bad labour with my first . but i do want another one
2007-02-22 21:36:40 · 14 answers · asked by Karen And Ollie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
There are many reasons for having them close together and with a bigger gap and it is completely individual.
I have 2 children with a 4 1/2 year gap between them. My first labour too was horrible but 4 years is a long time to get over it and also your body does forget the pain. Also second time round my body was more efficient as it knew what it was doing. Contractions worked well, labour was fairly fast and although not pain-free I didn't need any drugs to control it. The age gap between my children is PERFECT for me. I had 4 1/2 years devoted to my daughter before my son was born and she took it really well. She understood everything almost, didn't feel left out, loved helping with the baby. At the same time in those diffficult first few weeks, she was able to, go to the loo by herself, feed herself etc and I know I would have found it all difficult if I had had a 1 or 2 year old to tend to. I also had lovely bonding time with my son while my daughter was at school it has all worked well. Now he is two and she is nearly seven and they play really nicely together. They have a good bond as she is so protective of him. Really the only downside I can see for bigger age gaps is it is sort of a step backwards after nearly five years, but it does all come back!
I would relax a bit, enjoy your baby and wait and see how you feel in the future. You may not want another baby in which case it is unfair of people to quiz you about it.
NB This morning on the news (UK) there was a piece on a family with 9 children all under 10! - Now that IS good planning!
2007-02-22 21:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by barenakedlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not really qualified to answer this never having had a baby! Give yourself time to get over this. I think the average age gap between kids is 3yrs so you have plenty of time! You could also try counselling if you think this would help. I'm sure you're not the only one to have a bad first labour. It doesn't necessarily mean your second one will be. If its a medical problem that is likely to recur or get worse you should talk to your GP. Otherwise take a deep breath and enjoy your new baby. Theres no rush to have another one! Good luck!
2007-02-23 05:43:53 · answer #2 · answered by hiddenmyname 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your baby is only 10mths old so stop worrying about what others say, you have plenty time to have another child, if you want to. It take at least 12mths for a womans body to recover from pregnancy and if your still struggling mentally to cope with the labour you had then I definately suggest that you wait. Every labour is different and there is nothing to say that if you do have another child that the labour will be just a bad however it easy for me and others to say this. Your doctor and health visitor may be able to help you with your concerns. Good luck and enjoy your baby.
2007-02-23 06:50:31 · answer #3 · answered by thedaddy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not let others push you into having another baby, you will know when the time is right for you, as you had a bad labour the thought of all that pain will still be fresh in your mind, give yourself time, also not all labours are the same so when you do decide to have another do not let the last labour put you off as next time it could be a completely different experience
2007-02-23 05:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by tracy w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont be petrified to have another one, all labours are diffrent, they say the time in labour gets shorted with each child.
ive had 3 children my 1st was 13 hours 9mins in the afternoon had half a dose of pefidin was cut and had ventous
i was more scared of having my second one because i knew what to exspect but it was nothing like the 1st
my 2nd was born 7.18 in the morning and it was dark in the labour room with soem lights and it was dead peacefull and relaxing i really enjoyed the birth i was in labour with him 4 hours
and my 3rd well the labour if you can call it labour because the midwifes couldnt even put a time on my form because i had him so quick i had some light contraction on the night time went to sleep woke up at 5am thinking it has stopped then all of a sudden 1 came again
phone for widwife they sorted the ambulance, they arrived at 5.30 and i was ready to push the baby out by then but i held on
and i stuggled in to the ambulance witch pissed me off because the blokes expected me to walk wilst having a contraction. what do they know hey lol
and when i arrived at the hospital at 5.50am
they checked me over waters broke at 5.53 and my son was born at 5.55
then all the midwifes was saying later on are you the girl that was only here 5 mins b4 you had the baby
i was like yes
so dont worry about the next birth and after the 1st i didnt have any pain relief with either of the other 2 and its much quicker but i didnt have it cos there wasnt time
but a bit of usfel infamation wait till this one is out of nappies b4 thinking about having a nother one
and the main reason i think that you are so pefrified still, is its still fresh in your mind after a while you will look back and maybe think it want that bad
but saying that i dont know how bad your labour was
as for other people asking you when you having another one just say not yet im concentrating on this one
it your life you have another one when your ready. no one can push you into it. at the end of the day you have to look after the kids not them
2007-02-23 06:47:50 · answer #5 · answered by crystaluk662 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you had a bad time. Mine wasn't too good either. But the result is fantastic! (She's now 8 yrs.)
Friend of mine says people always asking her when she'll have another because she has one boy. She only ever wanted one child, and I agree with her - surely that's your own decision.
Second one is often easier. Maybe you could chat to health visitor when your little one has next check up? :-) You do say you want another baby, and labour - even though not nice - is a relatively small part of things, compared with the years of happiness and love which a child can bring.
2007-02-23 06:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by crackpot_insomniac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think with a 10 month old you might want to wait awhile anyway. Put a couple years between your children at least. Just cause you had a hard time with this one doesnt mean the next would be the same. Every pregnancy and every labor are different from each other.
2007-02-23 08:09:03 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont then, having more than 1 is not for everyone. Just for the record i had a bad labour first time, but 2nd time baby was born drug free in 40 minutes.
10 months is nnot really long enough time for you to be wanting another one anyway.
Its your desion no one elses
2007-02-23 05:43:04 · answer #8 · answered by hayles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont discuss such a private matter with people who are not concerned with your health and family problems!!!
I think when you really want to give birth to one more baby you wont be stopped by anything like hard labour...
Ive got an 8 month terror and dream of having one more as soon as possible for them to be close in age.
2007-02-23 06:12:12 · answer #9 · answered by Marina-Marina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have another one unless you want to and only when you are ready. Concentrate on your existing baby as when you have another one you will not get as much free time.
People probably ask you that, as they are partly making conversation and partly just interested if you intend to have more.
They don't mind what you do, they are just being polite. I doubt anyone expects someone who has a 10 month old baby to have another baby at that point.
And if you are getting pestered ignore it, do what is right for you and your baby.
2007-02-23 05:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by uk.housewife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋