2007-02-22 20:56:45 · 9 answers · asked by mech1970 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
focus on yourself and build self confidence and trust in life work and career ,and dont let yurself be weak anymore,living in the shadow of the past destroys today and tomorrow
2007-02-22 21:01:26 · answer #1 · answered by reifguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's understandable, given the length of your marriage. There's no pressure for you to "move on" at this stage! So rule number one: Be gentle to yourself right now.
There's a book titled, "On Your Own Again" that was very helpful to me several years ago...from it I learned that for every three years of the relationship, expect to spend two or three months in self-recovery and re-discovery. (After all, you've changed, the people around you have changed, the world has changed in 15 years.)
To begin a new relationship within this period of recovery time would increase the chances of you repeating the same dynamics of the previous relationship (your marriage). So don't worry about "moving on" too quickly...take the Gift that you've been given and get to know yourself better...do some inner work...and when you feel emotionally healthy, the desire to "move on" will happen naturally for you.
Good Luck!
2007-02-23 05:24:36 · answer #2 · answered by pentora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you are having trouble moving on, then maybe some counseling is in order. When I separated from my husband I went to my local Family Services (social services and psychological counseling services) and they put me in a therapy group. It was great because I got to share my experiences and feelings with these women and they did the same with me. We learned alot from each other and there was alot of healing too. Since I was pretty much destitute when I left my husband, I did not have to pay anything for these sessions. They went by a sliding scale on how much I earned.
Try it. It might help you.
2007-02-23 05:04:53 · answer #3 · answered by Pixie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats just in your mind sweety...you can move on you just have to have the willpower and you sertantly have that as your seperated..
You've spent a very big chunk of your life with him.. sleeping in the same bed..making love to the same person and having the same routine with them and now your out of your comfert zone...
You can get over this and just beleiv in yourself a little more do all the things that you wanted to do when your partner was around but you couldn's cos they stopped you..or you felt out of place..
Your life isn't over.. go out with a frind, have a mealbuy an outfit... do things for yourself.. make you happy and no one else focus on you... it's not going yto be easy and ofcourse your going to be lonely... but you still have fun times ahead...and whatever ther eason for the breakup it happened for a reason.. wether you had an afair, the other person did, what ever happened, it happened for a reason, that you weren't m,eant to be anymore..
chin up and keep smiling...and keep busy.. b x
2007-02-23 05:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by neeneeuno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay remember you were with the person for 15 years. You're not going to get over it in 15 minutes. Hang in there and have fun! It will take you a bit but you will get it!
2007-02-23 05:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by LanternPrime 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The marriage is over don't waste time. Move on with your life. It will be difficult but you must do it. You will find that there is LIFE AFTER DIVORCE. However you have to seek it yourself it won't come to you. Good Luck.
2007-02-27 04:02:25 · answer #6 · answered by andyt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it helps to remember that you were getting along just fine before the relationship,
so there is no reason that you shouldn't do all right now.
Remember: It does get easier as time passes.
If there are children involved, try to see the situation through their eyes. Remember..Children are very sensitive.
Good Luck.
2007-02-23 05:13:08 · answer #7 · answered by (Mr. Know-it-all) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes time and god i know im seprated too because of abuse then i found out he's cheating men can be so mean and break our heart i wake up wishing it was a bad dream i have times i miss him then angrey at him for doing this to me
2007-02-26 21:12:33 · answer #8 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to know about you. Time is the great healer. Please keep yourself occupied and you will come out of the trauma. If you are given custody of child/children, please take good care of them.
Wishing you the very best in life.
2007-02-23 05:01:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋