My good friend has a chronic illness for about 18 years and he has suffered occasional relapses for the last three years. Should I advise him to take it easy on himself and manage his expectations (ie. he may not be a high achiever in life).
2007-02-22 19:57:18 · 9 answers · asked by Nicey8 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It sounds like you've only told us half a story Mr Nice.
Is your friend trying to do more than you think he should?
I would say...encourage him to go for whatever........but that depends on his illness and how stretching himself would affect his quality of life.
You're obviously a good friend. x
2007-02-22 20:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by lou b 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what you mean by take it easy on his self so: if he is brow beating his self. Let him get it out as holding it in will make his Physical problem worse and keep a stronger hold on him. If he is going and doing what you or any may think he shouldn't grit your teeth or bite your tongue as he needs to do as many of them that he wants. It will help him mentally prepare for what is to come. And make him mentally stronger.
My husband had Hodgkin's and he was very down on his self because he could no long do the things a man should be able to do. Like Change a flat tire or pick up and hold his son, shoot hoops with his friends any more. I lost him in 1976 at the age of 23.
2007-02-22 20:20:17 · answer #2 · answered by real 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think making him aware of the disparity that you suggested he should feel, probably isn't the best course of action. I don't know what illness it is, but personally having been physically incompassitated, I think that you shouldn't give him or advise him to take unnecessary time for rest. I would suggest that you actually get him more involved. Maybe just take him out to a movie, mini-golf, or anything he enjoys. Of course, if his illness prohibits any of this, please disregard. Just try to let him have a good time.
2007-02-22 20:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by Jack 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm also in the same condition.confined to my wheel chair for the
past 20 years, balancing financial problems, cheated by friends
etc., however, i have not lost the self-confidence..whenever i
loose hope, i think of my past and ONLY the past;not future.
because, i cannot achieve what i had achieved in the past.you
can make him to recall the good and noble things he has done
earlier by his words and deeds..but,too much of console will hurt
him..they must be uttered just as passing clouds..
2007-02-22 20:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by orveeor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi !!!
Well if your friend has a negative outlook on life, I don't believe that this is due to his illness!!!
I believe that probably this is due to his upbringing, the lack of faith, and his over all, perspective of life as he knows it!!!
I have known of people with terminal illnesses and still this people, are or were able to contribute to society and to others!!!!
The case that come to mind, and it was highly,recorded, is the one about Christopher Reeves, "Superman". He was completely paralized, but still with all his limitations he was able to achieve and help others achieve things in life!!
It is all about courage and determination!!!
There are few questions one needs to ask oneself.
Do I want to be a burden and not be recognized for my efforts, because of my lazyness , lack enthusiasm, or my egocentric, conviction that everyone needs to be sorry for myself?
Or do I want to be known for my never ending efforst of trying my best, NOT only for myself, but also for the ones around me!!
Do I want people to know me for the things I don't dare to do, or for the things that I actually take a risk, and when I do, I find out how happy that made me feel!!!
One can just be here and never being noticed, or one do a lot of things for others, that in return one will be doing all this for oneself!!
So tell your friend that feeling down and under is NOT a "SUPERHERO", trade mark, to dare himself to do something different, to dare to explore.
Probably, he will find out that, that is all he needs to do, to TRY!!! If he doesn't want to do it for himself, ask him as a good friend, to do it for you.
GOD BLESS YOU & HAPPY LIFE
A.Z.
2007-02-22 20:36:28 · answer #5 · answered by Alliv Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to advise him of anything? That is a pretty negative thing to say to someone, I'm sure it isn't going to help him a single bit to hear that
2007-02-22 20:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by Shakespeare, William 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confident! It makes human beings happy while they do superb issues for others! Others' happiness is well worth it adequate! yet PLEASE do no longer purchase human beings cigarettes; you're helping them kill themselves. even nonetheless that's the thought that counts! So solid job! attempt to talk to extra human beings! And be your self! don't be so shy! playstation . you at the instant are not gruesome and fat.
2016-11-25 01:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by steffi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude shut up. It's his choice, not yours. You're worried, that's ok. BUT you're forgetting one thing. WHEN A PERSON FAILS TO DO WHAT THEY LOVE THEY'RE DEAD ANYWAYS. So take a queue from your sick friend and push yourself harder. We all could use that determination.
2007-02-22 20:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by The_Common_Sense_Fairy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes,
tell him to embrace the sickness and give up on achieving his goals......
2007-02-22 20:02:21 · answer #9 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋