My husband though a nice man never hugs me never kisses me .I wish him to hug me when he comes back from work but he never does that.I sometimes feel a strong urge to go n hug him then he becomes so unwiiling that I feel ashamed of my feelings Am i demanding too much ?he takes interest in sex though but i am feeling like a machine without emotional involvementWhat should i do?Please help. .
2007-02-22 19:21:25 · 24 answers · asked by m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
though he is caring but i feel an emotional gap between two of us
2007-02-22 19:26:24 · update #1
we've been married almost three years with a kid
2007-02-22 19:52:31 · update #2
Since this is a big issue to you,then you should say so. For so many years i was an unaffectionate person and it pushed my wife away.She eventually asked me why it was ok to touch her sexually but not lovingly.I had no answer for her then or now.I now take every chance to show her affection and i wish i would have all along it makes me feel good to feel wanted in all ways not just sexually and he should know or learn this also.Honey always be open in love or it'll slowly die,turn routine grow cold.....You know the cliches'. This reminds me of an old Judds tune...".Give alittle love". LOL Man I hope he gives you what you need,you women really are'nt so hard to please after all....and thats pretty cool!!!! Prayin for ya....FATBOY !!
2007-02-22 19:36:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on how long you've been together, if you have been together for a long, long time then it's normal. My parents have been together for about 35 years, and when my dad comes home from work, tired and stressed, he doesn't come directly to my mom to give her a hug or a kiss, and she doesn't care, she is use to it, but I do see that she gets emotional and she is the one that take the lead, she makes jokes about it and sometimes runs to him to hug him and he doesn't mind, that's when he hugs her back. and it's all nice. In my case, my husband and I have been together for little over 2 years, and usually the one in the house is the one that receives the one that is arriving with a hug and a kiss and it's a very nice feeling, so I would suggest for you to hug him and kiss him anyways, that way he will feel you are still there for him no matter what. Take the lead and don't let it bother you, remember that he is arriving from work and not a party !!!
2007-02-23 03:47:28 · answer #2 · answered by nelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are feeling. However he will not change. I have been married for 23 years to the same type. You must not look to him for emotion. Some men do not feel any. Don't take this as a reflection on you. It his his hang up and his loss. You cannot look to your husband for happiness. You must find it within yourself. I do the same thing. I wait and never get anything. I hug him kiss him tell him how I feel but I never get anything in return. You can hug and kiss him but that little bit of contact has to be enough to get you through. Stay strong and you'll be OK.
2007-02-23 10:07:49 · answer #3 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine this situation:
Your husband kisses and hugs you every time he goes and comes to/ from office. He always call you 'Honey','Darling' etc. He even kisses you in front of a crowd. You have a very active sex life. You walk hand in hand always. His hand would be around your waist always.
But..... He is not understanding, he doesn't care for your feelings, he doesn't want to play with your kid, he does n't respect your relatives, he doesn't give you freedom.
What do you feel? which is better, your case or this?
I would suggest you to be more practical. Try to understand that love is always not full of expressions. It comes from the heart.
Anyway, if you feel like hugging and kissing him when he comes back, do it in a less fussy way. If some one is around, avoid doing it. You can pass the feeling-'I care for you and I love you '- even by a slight touch or look.
You are taking all your bad feelings for him to BED also.That's why no emotional involvement.Try to sort out all differences by talking to him .Then you will FEEL the difference.
2007-02-23 05:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by Janaki D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been married for three years and everything was fine. Now suddenly you feel the need for hugs and kisses...come on why do we women always go looking out for reasons to be unhappy. Why can't you look at the good points. 'Janaki D' answer should give you some insight. Perhaps it is the presence of the kid that is deterring him. I suggest you discuss this with him when he is more relaxed maybe after having sex.
2007-02-23 15:34:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was that way for a long time . My family that i grew up with never would hug kiss or even say the L word. I don't know why but we just would know that we loved each other .Anyway i got use to it when i married my wife she came from a family and that's all they did. Took me a long time to get use to it . Take it slow with him maybe a little Peck at a time till its turns into a full blown hug
2007-02-23 03:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say that he cares for you, you can tell him you requirements politely. If you are talkative when he comes home it may have some effect. He will also start talking. Your family surroundings also counts. The way your husband has been brought up also counts. It is your duty to make your husband note your demand. You can discuss the thing in person, not at the time when he is returning home tired with tension but at bed time. Kids are also there. This may also make him embarrassing
2007-02-23 05:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by RAGHAVAN N 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not good.
You deserve affection.
The fact that he takes an interest in sex means that he should be capable and willing to give you the affection you need. Please tell him that you are a woman who needs to be hugged and feel cared for and that you are unable to have sex until things change. You're not using sex as a weapon and I don't advise manipulation but this is about the meeting of mutual needs and compromise. Do this for you!
2007-02-23 03:52:44 · answer #8 · answered by Sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He comes tirred from work, normaly my husband crys for huggs, and I dont because he treats me like I'm worthless. If he is nice he should treat you with respect, don't trust him. It's not a good sign I wouldn't say he's cheating, but if he's making you feel this way he just doesn't appreciate you and wants to make you feel this way, so he can have control over you. You need to shake his negative stuff off yourself and learn to love yourself enough to not let him make you feel this way. Tell him how you feel, and try some counseling w/him or w/out him...Good luck! Learn to say no!
2007-02-23 03:31:06 · answer #9 · answered by HOPE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be in tension or overloaded with work. If so first try to remove tension and extra work load. You are normal and not demanding. Emotions are must in happy married and sex life. Men also don't enjoy mechanical sex but when he is tense he least bother emotions.
2007-02-23 03:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by deep 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋