Ex not happy paying CSA. Changed job last year and it took months to find where he'd moved to. He's never been bothered about seeing his children until he starting paying CSA. Kids said they didn't want to see him, they're 15 & 12. Solicitor said they have rights. They said they'd see him for 2 hrs on Sundays to see how well they get on, but he wanted 2 weeks in summer, bank holidays, christmas. When we split up 6 yrs ago he harrassed me for a year and was charged and bound over for a year for this. He's always asking people questions about me. He now knows I married again to an American guy who's in the US military. Anyway, last Thursday it was my sons 12th birthday. At 8pm he came round banging on the door to give him his present. I didn't answer the door straight away as I was in the bath. Later I noticed my kitchen window broken. Also I received a nasty racist valentines card on Friday but in my maiden name, do you think this was him? Sorry this was so long ...
2007-02-22 19:07:35 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
REPORT the incident to the police to get an event number, and have another chat to your solicitor.
it might be that you have to take out another injunction.
hope all works out ok.
2007-02-22 19:14:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a horrible situation and so are your children and new hubby. I would let the children have a choice of seeing him or not as they are over or are 12 now. I would ring the csa up and try and get it sorted out. its not fare that he does not pay for his children and then still want to see them even though they dont want to see him. With the window thing you should report it to the police and the card i would do the same. its not fare on you and your new family living like this and getting all this trouble from him.
Some men cant seem to move on in life. My ex still talks about he past at times when we are on the phone talking about our son and he knows im married and have another child and very very happy.
He just needs to realise you are not going to come back to him, try and not talk to him unless you have to, that's what i do with my ex. Least mine live 200 miles away.
These things are hard and very stressful just make sure he does not come between you and your hubby.
All the best and i do hope you sort this out.
2007-02-22 22:16:46 · answer #2 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are old enough to say if they want to see their dad - its their decision. I think its sensible for kids to limit time with him at the moment and if ex not happy with arrangements it just shows how immature he is.
My kids are 10 & 12 and refuse to see their dad at all - theres nothing he can do about it. Ex doesn't take an interest as he not working so not paying I'm sure as soon as he has to start paying again then he'll start demanding to see them.
It sounds same with your ex and turning up unannounced at that time and is it just coincidence that your window was broken - if I were you I'd report it to the police (if you haven't already) and keep a log of any other events.
2007-02-22 19:30:11 · answer #3 · answered by luz2loz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, most likely it was him. I don't know where you live, but this is harassment here in California, where it's not easy getting a restraining order, unless there's been physical contact. Or if you can somehow prove that it is actually him harassing you, then you can get one. If you already had a restraining order then it's probably easier to get a second one for a longer period of time. And if your children do not want to see their father, you should probably document everything they tell you, like why they don't want to go with him, maybe they don't feel comfortable. And also, the more time he spends with them, the less money he has to pay in child support, but like I said, if you can prove that he is physically abusive, and that your kids don't feel comfortable, you can get full custody, with no visitations from him towards your children, plus child support. I wish you the best of luck, and take good care of yourself !!!
2007-02-22 19:27:30 · answer #4 · answered by nelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a Diary of all events, if it continues, go to a solicitor and get an injunction out against him for harasment of you and your children, They are of an age now where they can make their own minds up about him and do not have to see him if they don't want to and those are enough grounds to prevent him attending your property
2007-02-22 19:17:09 · answer #5 · answered by decrepid1958 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The children do have rights to see their dad the right as I understand it is theirs and not his. If they were not happy to go then they wouldn't have to. I would write down what has happened and tell the police just so they have a record of it. Your life has obviously moved on and his hasn't by the sounds of it. Good luck to you.
2007-02-22 19:37:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh well theres always cash in hand and income support benefits as well. Be grateful hes offering a payment.
2007-02-24 13:53:32 · answer #7 · answered by lonely as a cloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These guys that do not pay maintainance, nor keep regular contact with their kids are the Lowest of the Low you cannot sink any lower.
2007-02-22 19:17:36 · answer #8 · answered by terrano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can find the answer, cause only you know what and how is he?
Don't separated your child with his father. even he is a bad guy
2007-02-22 19:22:22 · answer #9 · answered by ivan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the police involved - now.
2007-02-22 19:25:46 · answer #10 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋