My soon to be ex husband has a girlfriend and just lost his job?

Question

My divorce is in process. We have been seperated for 7 months. He now has a girlfriend. He let me know that he lost his Job today. I work full time.We have joint custody of the children. They are with me full time. He visits on Wednesdays and every other weekend with the kids. We had a verbal agreement that he would pay child support and he has, but not enough. I was planning to get a lawyer to straighten out the child support on paper. but now that he doesnt have a job, what do I do know? I'm so upset.

Answer 1

A lot of times a husband will "quit" his job or do things to make sure he's fired and then work "under the table" so his earnings aren't traceable. By "not enough" child support do you mean he hasn't paid the agreed upon amount or do you mean the "agreed upon amount" isn't enough. You don't need a lawyer to straighten the child support out on paper. Check online in your county -- I'm in Sacramento County and you'd check Sacramento County Municipal and Superior Court and then check under Family Law -- there's the forms and all the information you need to know about how to do anything and what you should do as well as info. on how to contact the agencies that will help you for free. And he still owes child support whether or not he has a job -- it's how much earning potential he has -- what he made at his last job. And it accrues whether or not he's paying it or has a job. I'd get in ASAP to see someone at one of the local free workshops (or whatever they're offering in your county) (but wouldn't waste your money on an attorney).

Another thing -- it wouldn't surprise me if the girlfriend put him up to "losing" his job. They usually don't want to be encumbered with child support. Had you said something to him recently about him being behind in support and needing to go to court to get it documented?

I'd verify with his employer that he no longer works for them and then be an investigator -- he's got to do something to pay his rent and have a girlfriend.

Good luck and be thankful you're rid of him now while you still have the opportunity to find a good man for yourself.

Answer 2

Go back to an abusive man? Hmmmm, let me think about that one. Hell No! Living with these men could actually pose a problem though. Even if everything is as safe and secure as you describe. Have you filed for divorce? If not make sure you do it before he does. He will have the upper hand if he does. File for divorce, request a restraining order. Document everything! If he leaves you taped messages on your cell, answering system then hold on to those. If you can't afford an attorney, then you need to start gathering all the knowledge you can about how the court system works, how to file your paperwork.You can learn a lot from the internet, law colleges, Women's shelters etc... The YWCA is a good place to start. The court facilitators office can help you too. Request court mediation. Just don't wait for him to make the first move. Be proactive and think about getting your own place ASAP! I know this sounds crazy but having left the home was not the smartest move. You should have stayed and gotten the filing and restaraining order first and had him removed from the home. If you get a job at this point you will most likely get less in alimony and child support. I don't know what your job skill level or education level is. Can you support your daughter on what you can earn without child support? Because if you can't then getting a job and having moved out of your home could screw you finacially later. He may very well get 50% custody and then you may get nothing in the way of support. Even if he has been abusive to you and you have been completely dependant on him finacially will not absolutely keep him from some percentage of custody or get you support. He is going to use every trick in the book to make you look bad in the eyes of the court. Be prepared for anything and never believe what he tells you. Get everything in writing and legally signed by the court.

Answer 3

Go straight to the District Attourneys office and file for child support. You will have to go to court and he will probably have to pay just a little at first until he gets another job. Once he gets a job make sure you report that to the DA's office as soon as possible. They will take him back to court and the child support will go up more. Tell them that you have joint custody but he is only with the kids a 3rd of the time. When he doesn't pay they still total it up and he will still have to pay that back pay even if your kids are grown. He will not be able to buy a house. If I were you I would go down there ASAP. A verbal agreement is nothing you need to have it in writing. Do not allow him to be a dead beat Dad that is his obligation to pay.

Answer 4

Take him to court anyway. For all you know he has a job he is not telling you about. Unless you are just willing to bear the whole load forever take the man to court for child support. I wouldn't hold out a lot of hope though just go on and take care ofyour kids and get that lawyer to settle things legally.

Answer 5

You should be worried, unless he is a working man with good habits. I have 2 kids of my own, both with a deadbeat dad. Sure even at that you can get a court order as did I, but as the saying goes,"you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink," So get a court order for sure, but that does not guarantee the cash flow.

Answer 6

Go ahead with the court order, he will still be ordered to pay and even if he doesn't start paying, it will a bill that never ends and accumlates interest.

Answer 7

go to yor county child support office, there are guidlines on support, but that doesent mean you will get it soon, but he will be pressured into paying or he will face stiff penaltys

Answer 8

your lawyer's wisdom should be enough.
try to be strong.
pray.
there will be better days!