How can i feel more confident about myself??

Question

I always have issues with low-self esteem and it's hurting me.People think i'm pretty but i'm shy especially around cute guys.I feel i don't measure up to my friends,like they're better in everything they do.I was captain of the basketball team but i don't think i did my duty well because of this and i regretted it.Sometimes,i cant even concentrate in class.How can i help myself? I'm very self-conscious and i think i'm actually anti-social

Answer 1

you need to realise your SELF. when you come to know that you are not wat you see yourself as, nd are mere instrumental, workin acting accordin to the situations, thn u'll realise that ur major task is to act irrespective of da desires of fruits of actions.
Try meditation, try to reach nearer to your SELF thn one day you will b confident enuf to face da world with boldness..

Answer 2

First you should ask yourself if you love your life. No? What do you wish you could change on the inside. The outside will come later. I gained weight in high school when I started lifting weights and I thought I was fat. Other girls teased me a lot because my chest seemed to double in size after a while and my legs were muscular. I was benching as much as some of the guys were. I stopped wearing skirts or shorts. I couldn't bare to be seen in a bathing suit and I always wore sweatpants in gym class, no matter how hot it was. I allowed others view to guide my way in life for a long time after high school. After 9/11, I realized how short life really is and I started working out again and now I wear cute skirts and even mid drift tops because my body is my temple and I'm physically fit, why should I feel ashamed of that? You are who you want to be. If you re intimidated by your friends attributes, make sure they aren't adding fuel to the fire. Females can be catty when it comes to competition, as I'm sure you know. If you were captain of your basketball team, then I doubt you are anti social. Try to remind yourself everyday that you are worthy of love (from yourself, mostly) and anyone should feel privileged to be in YOUR life. You need you more than you need others. Good luck on your journey of self discovery. God Be With You through all of your days.

Answer 3

Honestly not everyone is cut out to be overly social, some of us have more introverted personalities and need to be aware of it for our own health and well being.

You meantioned having been captain of a sports team so it's apparent you've tried to be socially active in your interactions with others... Your continuous drop in self-esteem however, along with your general feelings of increased awkwardness, are a sure sign that perhaps you're taking on a little more in life than you're genuinely comfortable with.

Relax, slow down, take more time to yourself... Back off a little from the chaos going on around that's making your head spin. I'm sure you'll find you start feeling better soon; You're just over sensitized at the moment and need to slow down.

Answer 4

Hi Crystal,

firstly let's deal with the hurt. Where does it hurt you? Locate the place in your body where you feel hurt and ask yourself, what direction are the feelings spinning in? It might be top to bottom, bottom to top, left to right or right to left, I don't know, but I do know that they're spinning, because when they're not spinning at all you won't feel anything. Once you know what direction they're spinning in, work out what color they are. Then, in your mind, move the spinning, coloured mass outside of your body, change the color to one you like, change the direction of spin to the opposite of what it was, and move it back inside your body. Increase the rate of spin and you'll find that the feelings of hurt go away. Once you've practiced or rehursed this a few times it'll become a lot easier, and you'll be able to do this whenever you need to - without moving the spinning outside.

Once you learn to spin your bad feelings in reverse, making them into good feelings, you're ready to do this with any feelings you have, even the ones you get when you feel a lack of confidence. Take those feelings you get when you're not confident, and spin them the other way, changing the color to one you like and feel what happens. I predict the result will be way cool.

There are other exercises involving visualisation that work very well for confidence, but this post is long enough already.

Answer 5

Relax. Quit worrying about how you measure up to your friends. If you focus on what you love (sports, friends, school, etc.) and forget about what you think is wrong with you, a guy will find you! Guys will like a girl who is focused, intelligent and confident. When you focus too much attention on guys and get nervous it can be a turn off. Take a deep breath, clear your mind and focus on what you are doing. Relax....be happy! See everyone you meet as a friend and smile at them. If you give your attention to who you are talking to and take it off yourself people will respond to you in a positive way. ;-D