Get a Lawyer or do it the easy way?

Question

Married for 22 years 2 children 12 & 15. Husband asked me to quit my job 2 months ago so we could spend more time together. Thought all was well had many romantic times etc...then found out he was having an online affair it had been going on for 7 months with an old jr high school girlfriend. He told me he spent 3 days with her on his vacation. He told me she was his soul-mate and that he loved her. I told him to move out. We talked about divorce and decided on a few things non contested divorce no atty. Girls reside 50/50. He agreed to pay all household bills and mortgage on home I live in, and 200 a week expenses. We own a 4plex and a single family rental. we agreed to sell all property after 5 years and split profit. He has a very successful 100k + per yr sales job. I dont want to be spiteful just want what is fair.

Answer 1

If you are happy with the agreement and feel it is fair then
you do not need an attorney..

Answer 2

It does sound like he is being fair....
However, it may be because he knows your state laws will leave you with even more.
Get a lawyer. That doesnt mean you are beign nasty... it means you are protecting yourself. However, I rec. you keep the lawyer thing private--dont tell him you are seeing one--even AFTER you see one.
And get EVERYTHING you agree on in writeng.
(Email works great--just got him little notes at a time--like thnkas for paying the mortgage like we agreed--selling the property in 5 years and splitting the money was a good idea--i appreciate how fair you are being by payign teh bills & an additional 200 a week until then.... etc)
Then, if he ever gets pissed and stops... you have a record of proof that he had agreed to it.

Sorry if I sound harsh.

Check out the links below on family, divorce, & child support laws.

Also, I am including soem co-parenting links.

Answer 3

He's being more than fair -- when one has a lawyer you end up spending a lot of money on both sides for the attorney to do nothing more than chat with you on the status and with the other attorney and pass information from your husband to you and send letters back and forth to "document the file" at the rate of $400+/hr! And time is usually billed in 15 minute increments so even if you only chatted for 5, you'd be billed for 15 (some attorneys bill in 1/2 hr. increments). And there's a specific guideline as to what one can receive in alimony and child support depending on the income. And the fact that it's only been a couple of months since you quit your job, the courts would give you minimal alimony --probably 2-3 months -- to get another job. Usually the wife doesn't end up with the family home -- but struggling along in an apt. trying to make ends meet. There are Marital Settlement Agreements you can get online along with "helps" as to how to complete it. You need to cover everything including who's to pay for your children's insurance, dental/medical bills, etc., are you to get the family house, for how long will he pay all the expenses, who takes the children as tax deductions on their income tax returns, what about his pension, if any -- you're entitled to half of that. Once the marital settlement agreement is drafted in its final form, I would definitely have a top notch attorney review it and make any recommendations. Good luck.

Also, Marital Settlement Agreements are recorded and are legally binding so those individuals who stated otherwise are not familiar with them. They are preferable to having the courts decide. And those individuals who say "scr___ the husband - get an attorney" don't have any idea what they're talking about --- you're not scr___ the husband --- you're scr___ yourself. And even if you initially start out being "friendly" in your divorce, attorneys have a way of alienating you from your spouse and it ends up getting ugly. For the children's sake and yours, I'd say resist the temptation to "get him" -- I've seen too many women in your situation think they'll get so much more from the court only to find out the hard way they'd be much better off with what the husband offered, but it's too late once one has hired attorneys --- and lost a large portion of the assets in paying them. Think about it.

Answer 4

Very sorry to hear about your situation, but I think you should get a lawyer and had an agreement sign by both parties. Because you never know what is behind it and what's plan he has in the long run? He might turn around (if the other woman might talk him into it. You'll never know.) and he might said that the verbally agreement never took place to begin with. You trusted him for 22 yrs and look what happened to you? If you don't love yourself, then no one else would. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

200 a week is a drop in the bucket . I know guys that make half that and paying 200 a week per kid and they couldn't sell the home because the kids need a place to live .I don't know do you wont whats behind door number 1 or door number 2 its up to you If you can make it on 200 a week i would say go for it but it just don't sound rite.

Answer 6

always get a lawyer: if for no other reason than to get it all official and on paper correctly. Trust me:he might seem reasonable now, but within a year he's going to start "rethinking" the arrangement, and if you don't have it locked down legally, he's going to screw you any way he can so he can save a few bucks.

Answer 7

Poison the bustard. Use one that's hard to trace, and slow acting.

OH, crikey, now I've ruined your chances of doing this incognito.

No, you were never going to get away with it anyhow.

But damn him all to hell. You deserved better. Go find yourself a right proper man, and let him shag you till queendom come.

Answer 8

I say Get a Lawyer

Answer 9

get a lawyer and im sorry you had a cheater husband he deserves divorce papers i think all cheating husbands do like mine

Answer 10

get a lawyer you will get more of share thenhes willing to give.