How do I tell my bf that I don't want a big ring?

Question

I'm not engaged... yet. But (in my world at least) he should be thinking about it sometime in the near future. Anyhow, what I can do to let him know that I don't need/want a big ring? We are still in college (wouldn't get married til after though) and so we don't have much money. Just in case he plans to start saving money soon I want him to know that it doesn't need to be 2 years worth of saving LOL so how can I mention this to him without him feeling pressured? And without him thinking that I want to get married right away or something? I'm looking for a more subtle approach than, "hey babe look at that huge ring... I hate it" OR "since we're going to grow old together there will be plenty of time to buy me big rings" LOL

I apparently came off really bad. I DO NOT WANT A BIG RING. I thought I was being nice to share it with him so he doesn't have to save as much & worry about finances, etc. I hope he doesn't think I'm horrible person like most of the answerers!

I guess I have much more of a "pick your fights" mentatilty than other people. I have no problem talking to my bf about anything and if it was worth us having another huge marriage talk I'd tell him exacty what I thought about the ring but why waste that much effort on having a "serious conversation" when it's not that important to me. We know when we want to get married and it's a while away but we've never talked about how long we want to be engaged so I thought instead of us deciding together I'd rather be suprised more and if he had his heart set on a big ring that's fine. I don't want to pick out the ring! (My personal opinion is that people who are in dramatic relationships don't understand that when people are in good ones you try to avoid unnecessary emotional strain LOL)

Answer 1

When ur watchin T.V like VH1's fabulous life shows, where they shows all thoses ridiculously big rings...just slip it out there. Its not hard, just be cool about it

Answer 2

Well for starters when walking through the local mall (if there is one in your area) you could randomly browse through a jewelry store at rings other than those designed primarily for engagement that have stone settings...point out ones you favour with subtle comments like ...ooo that setting is so unique...or that you prefer the inlaid settings as opposed to the raised settings...or subscribe/request a jewerly catalog sent to your address...take a marker and write across the photos of stone settings that you think are gawdy...conveniently leave it laying out in the open but not in an overtly obvious fashion...

Best of luck to you!!

Answer 3

I think I'm in love with you. You are a great person and will be a great partner to your bf. More women should be like you and if anyone criticizes you for this, they are way, way off.

I won't get into the politics of "blood diamonds" and the fact that the prices of diamonds are artificially inflated.

Your priorites are all correct, your intentions are honorable and you willingness to delay gratification when you are more financially ready brings tears to my eyes.....I wish my wife were more like you.

Answer 4

If you can't have a conversation about a ring what the heck are you going to do when a really serious problem.issue comes up in your relationship? I don't think you're ready to even think about a ring, let alone being married.

Answer 5

Um, have you even talked with him, seriously, about your future? Since your world and his world are VERY differnt, I think you two shoudl talk so that your worlds overlap...

Now, if he IS seriously considering marriage, you can always tell him "Hun, I'm not into really large rings. I like a smaller, more "classic" style ring. But if WE can't afford it, anything you gi ve to me as a token will do just fine." And mean it. Don't try that "reverse phsyoclgy" crap on guys. They hear what you say, and they do what you way, word for word...(if you say jump, but really mean duck, they are going to jump!)

So, have a talk about your future first, and then when it gets closer for that big question, then you two should talk about rings.

But, don't assume that because you are dating 'seriosouly' that means you get a ring. communication is KEY.

Answer 6

I'm kind of hoping you get the smallest ring ever. Like a piece of diamond flake. Sounds like you don't know what you want and making a guy work his *** off just so you can be stupid about it and show it off is disgusting! Your just a gold digger!

Answer 7

Uh!

Answer 8

What would you do if you had real problems?