i have my own place and my 18 yr old son lives here with me he's still in school i work everyday mon thru fri anyway my boyfriend of a few yrs stays here to he doesn't help with the bills because he says i would have to pay them anyway since it's my place he does give me a ride to work every day and buys groc sometimes and helps out in other ways to i'm not asking him to pay half the bills just throw in some extra money to help out i think its only fair
he doesn't have a full time job so when he does have money he always seems to need it to pay his bike payment or gas etc i don't make alot of money at my job either so alittle extra would help i love him but this is starting to come between us also i'm a very pretty woman so i'm not desperate how can i make him understand that just because i'd be paying the bills anyway its only fair that he should help
2007-02-22 18:02:51 · 9 answers · asked by donna k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell him where ever he lives he'd be paying the bills too. You need a partner, not another child.
2007-02-22 18:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, okay this boyfriend drives you to work..do you have a car or some form of transportation? Can you take the bus to work? It's you & your son & the boyfriend. It seems to me that maybe it's time to get the boyfriend out of your life, if he can't go halfers with the bills, cuz we all know the bills are going up, & the price of groceries isn't cheap..You need to focus on you & your son...It would help if your son worked a part time job to help out too if possible. It's hard supporting 3 people & paying all the bills on top of it. Tell the boyfriend to get a job & help pay bills or hit the road. I would if I were in your shoes.
2007-02-22 18:15:09 · answer #2 · answered by simplesimon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you're being taken advantage of, and this guy is using you.....and you deserve better.
He won't chip in for bills, "because you would have to pay them anyway", yet he wants you to help pay for gas or bike payments???
You're not using his bike, or using his gas, so why should you be expected to pay for them ???
The cost of gas or electricity phone bills etc , should be divided 3 ways every month . You pay for 2 thirds (for you and your son) and he pays the other third.
And I would definitely NOT feed him in the future, unless he contributes equally........ You're not eating his portion, so why should you have to pay for it???
If it's a good enough excuse for him - it's good enough for you to use too.
You might pay him a set amount every week, for the gas it takes to get you to work .....but that would be all I would contribute, until he starts pulling his weight.
You say you love him, and I'm sure you do, but if he's not showing you the respect you deserve, it doesn't sound like he cares for you as much as you may think. Or maybe he does, but he cares about himself even more.
2007-02-22 18:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kate 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? Sounds immature and naive and self centered and stupid. Send him off so he can live for free somewhere else. He'll be running back to your place. It's only fairness that you help out your other half if you care about each other.
Otherwise, you are never going to come up in life. Do you like the way you live? You have nothing to lose!
2007-02-22 18:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by Andres N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you? Kick this leeching bum out of your house unless you want your son to start to emulate him. Think what lesson you are teaching that young man of yours with your behavior in this unhealty relationship. You cannot need a man that badly hon and this is hardly a man. Need a man then go get you a MAN and drop this permentant looser. Ya know you can only be taken advantage of if you allow it. If you don't, they can't. Go to E-bay bid on a spine and when you get it, use it to put an end to this destructive nonsense.
2007-02-22 18:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should find out how much he makes and then decide on a percentage of his income to help with the expenses. This is something you should do together. As long as you provide a roof over his head he should be a regular contributor.
2007-02-22 18:10:43 · answer #6 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to him.. ask him y he isnt workn full time.. tell him if he doesnt help, ther mayb a time whn u cant pay the bills.. i tink u r bein used by him.. tell him u love him n if thers a day u two r married or hav an appartment togethr or a house tht he would hav no choice but to help.. tell him ur strugling tryin to support him n ur son.. make sure he knos how much u love him tho.. good luck
2007-02-22 18:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by some chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you would be paying the bills anyway but if he wasn't living there they probably wouldn't be as high. besides only men who are losers don't work. if he don't grow up ship him out and get a new model
2007-02-22 18:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by mrs garfield 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him an invoice and if he doesn't get the hint an eviction notice.
2007-02-22 18:23:42 · answer #9 · answered by EmmaRoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋