I had this bf during my colleges years. We've been together for 4 years and 4 months. I truly cared for him, provided him almost everything. Even if my family don't liked him, I still fought for him. There is this thing that I just could not take when it comes to him. He is much dependent on me. He is kinda immature when it comes to logical thinking and emotionally disturbed. People would say i possess a strong personality than him. and i dont think we could be a good couple someday..so i have realized to be more practical because in reality, love is not the key alone to enjoy married life. Now, i broke up with him. It was a tough decision really but i had to because i am doing this for our own good. Now, his illness (heart failure) bothers me. He's into the process of fighting for it and i only have his family to ask about his condition. I don't know if i should partly blame myself about went on with him right now. so i am asking advise or opinions from anyone..thanks
2007-02-22 17:46:59 · 5 answers · asked by amo011585 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Amo, you are not to blame for this persons heart condition. Listen to me, you can still be a friend and be there for him but you don't have to be lovers to support him. Don't be with him because you feel guilt or that your in someway abandoning him.
You said you provided and cared for him in almost everything, your family didn't feel comfortable when you were together, you said he is immature.
If you could choose to spend the rest of your life with someone, is this person who you would choose? If you write down on a piece of paper, the things you want in life in a partner, how many of these items would he fulfill? Of course everyone has flaws, only you know how many you can live with.
Just because you were together in college doesn't mean you were meant to be together. You know in your heart what you should do, nobody else does. Don't self destruct over this.
You seem like a very caring, intelligent, and spiritual person who has allot of life to live and love to give to the right person, make sure you can get that investment back in someone.
2007-02-22 18:12:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a strong and intelligent woman who is doing exactly what she needs to take control of her life and make it what she wants it to be! It's what is best for you, and honestly for him as well even if he doesn't feel that way right now.
I am sorry to hear about his heart condition but it sounds like you're so used to taking care of him that you're wanting to do that again. Break the habit! He needs to learn to care for himself and his family is there to help him. It is NOT your fault.
You are doing exactly what you need to do and that takes guts, girl! I'm proud of you and I don't even know you! :)
2007-02-22 18:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by fluffomatic24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen dependant people suddenly become ill when left alone. Ranks right up there with "I can't live without you". Never blame yourself, even if the illness is real.
2007-02-22 17:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by noonehomebutlightsareon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody have to take care of oneself. The real reason of his sickness is not you left him, it's because of he is not taking care of himself, he don't love himself. A person who could not love himself, will not have the ability to love other.
And for you, when you said he is dependent on you, do you depend on his dependent at the same time? Search yourself and go on.
2007-02-22 18:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You grew. This is the time of life when people develop into their adult selves. You no longer matched with this man.
His heart failure is unrelated to your breakup.
Time to move on.
2007-02-22 17:51:06 · answer #5 · answered by ignoramus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋