I married recently ...she confessed abt an affair with a boy in college when i forced her ....would like to divorce her but pre marital affair are not ground for divorce in indian law and also she is threatning me with suicide .....if she commits suicide it will be a problem in my remarriage ....help me how to tackle this problem....
2007-02-22 17:28:21 · 29 answers · asked by sahil 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dude, don't worry about the consequences. She lied, and about something that she knows is important to you. In my opinion, you can't trust her and should wipe your hands clean of her. One more thing; people that want to commit suicide usually just do it. People that want help say they will commit suicide. Thats just my opinion.
2007-02-22 17:36:39 · answer #1 · answered by jwplaster 4 · 2⤊ 11⤋
Why get divorced, you are perfect for each other.
You force her into confession and don't like the truth because it hurts your ego. You are upset about something that happened when she had no responsibility to you, which could not have effected you and for which there are no consequences. How stupid can you get?
She resorts to moral blackmail to try to keep a relationship with someone who certainly appears to be not worth knowing. Why?
If you really want to tackle this problem, go to your wife, apologize for being stupid, tell her that for you the past is not important but only your future together, Ask for her forgiveness and believe everything you are saying.
If she ever threatens you with suicide again tell her you don't respond to moral blackmail but are happy to talk about any issues to reach a consensus.
Grow up!
2007-02-22 17:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by John B 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Why get divorced, you're suitable for one greater. You rigidity her into confession and don't in hassle-free terms like the certainty by way of fact it hurts your ego. you're disillusioned approximately something that got here approximately while she had no accountability to you, that could desire to no longer have effected you and for which there are not any outcomes. How stupid are you able to get? She inns to ethical blackmail to attempt to maintain a relationship with somebody who unquestionably seems to be no longer nicely worth understanding. Why? in case you extremely need to handle this project, flow on your spouse, ask for forgiveness for being stupid, tell her that for you the previous isn't significant yet in hassle-free terms your destiny mutually, Ask for her forgiveness and have self assurance each little thing you assert. If she ever threatens you with suicide back tell her you do no longer respond to ethical blackmail yet are chuffed to talk approximately any themes to realize a consensus. strengthen up!
2016-09-29 12:21:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am giving you this answer based on most cultures of the world. She did confess to you. Understand that women can feign anything and pretend. You will never find out. She was honest and sincere enough to tell you the truth. Please move along with your marriage, and forget about an outdated custom. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT DIVORCE. THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN FIND A VIRGIN IN THIS COMPUTER AGE IS IN THE MATERNITY WARD(a new born baby) Society is dynamic. In any case, others will only know when you tell. So, keep that as one of your secrets;your marriage will blossom and both of you will be better for it. Yours Sincerely
2007-02-22 19:16:13 · answer #4 · answered by uwaezuokeonyii 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
We all have our fault in life. If you really love her and want to be with her then take her for who she is NOW not what is in the pass that is something that she can not take back forgive her understand what she went thru back then and move on. Enjoy your marriage you would have not married her if you did not love her right. She really loves and wants to be with you and just because she slept with someone back then is not a reason at all to get a divorce, you need to think about why you married her and what attracted you to her. Right now she is a human being just like you and you have to realize non of us are perfect at all. Love her for who she is at this moment do not ruin your marriage based on things in the pass, you will never find another woman who will love you and put up with all your bad habits and anything else about you like she does. Put it behind you and move on and be happy in your marriage. Love is unconditional now she is your wife so you nned to love her unconditionally the same way that she loves you I know there are things that you have done that she did not like but she is not divorcing you cause of it is she NO she put those things behind her and is looking at you for the person you are to this day we all change so you have to forgive and forget. LOVE HER AND BE HAPPY!!
2007-02-22 17:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
most women are not virgins when they get married. my ex husband claimed he was going to commit suicide but he didn't. he was just trying to make me paranoid. if you really think she will try to then she needs to see a psychiatrist because any woman who would kill herself over a man needs help bad. she needs to talk to someone else. although it may be different where you are but i don't understand why you want to divorce her over something that happened before you were married. if she isn't cheating on you now while you are married then what's the problem. maybe you need psychiatric help too
2007-02-22 17:36:04 · answer #6 · answered by mrs garfield 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I guess alot of people here just aren't knowledgeable to Indian tradtions.
So, lemmi clear something up.
In India, and most middle eastern countries, virginity is a tresure. Many women who are raped, commite suicide because they have been deflowered and feel so much shame, (and they would bring shame to their future husband as well) that they end their life. So all you of you who don't know what you are talking about, just be quiet and keep your ignorance to yourself.
As for your problem my friend, I am sorry she lied about her virginity. But, since divorce is looked down apon there, you are going to have to find a way to forgive her for the "shameful" act she commited. I don't know alot about Indian culture, but I'm sure you are a loving and forgiving man. Keep this affair between the two of you, and try to be nice to her, and reassure her that you love her very much. Pray on teh subject, and you will find your inner peace.
Treat her kindly and hopefully (if she is in fact a good woman) she will make it up to you. good luck.
2007-02-22 18:32:52 · answer #7 · answered by Pandora 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Hell, do you know what is the most wanted thing in the world. If you think as I am, it is the phisical contect of a male+female. In childhood & oldage life is nothing but time pass. The real fun of life is only bitween 15 to 35. We have only one life to live here , the main thing is how much fun can you have bitween the period. I never had this phisical context, so I dont know how is it but I know what it is. If I had a chance to had it I will be the lucky one. but what to do. I am about to marry I dont want to know that did she have it or not. I thing she also have the right to have the fun securly. I am very sorry that I wested my precious time which never come back. When I became an old-man there will be nothing but sit in corner & to fly the moskitos & remembering the precious time, & the time Ilost. So be prectical & dont west your time & have the fun as much as you can . This time will never come back. Your wife will love you so much if you parden her & love her as hard as I will to main. ..............mail me.
2007-02-22 17:54:21 · answer #8 · answered by jogi 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just accept the fact that she made a mistake. She is human!!! Were you a virgin when you met her? Are you trying to say that she should not be loved because of her past? Did you just marry her because she was a virgin? Yes she lied to you and that is bad but try to forgive her and give her a chance. She is only threatening suicide so you will keep her in your life.
2007-02-22 20:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
it's a tricky situation, when someone tells someone else that they are going to commit suicide, this could mean two things:
1, they are serious about it.
2, they are just saying that to keep you in the relationship by hitting you with a guilt trip.
i dont know what to suggest, try talking to her.
2007-02-22 17:38:48 · answer #10 · answered by den w 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This has got to be one of the most incredibly selfish and self-centered questions I've seen in a long time.
You FORCED her to confess to something, and now you're only concerned about her possibly commiting suicide, because it will inconvenience YOU when you remarry ????
Maybe she should divorce you for cruelty, and let you live with the shame......
2007-02-22 17:50:41 · answer #11 · answered by Kate 6 · 12⤊ 2⤋