if your boyfriend is abusive to you while dating when u 2 marry will he be less abusive? cuz u are his wife?

Question

and as such will respect u more? do u know of any men that r abusive or were?

Answer 1

NO!!! if he is like this now, then when you get married that will mean you accept his abuse, and are willing to let it continue, then it will get worse. Dont marry him if he is abusing you.

Answer 2

Do yourself a favor and get into counseling so you will find out what happens to women who decide to marry a man who is abusive before they marry. Many women are beaten on a daily basis or once a week and sometimes to death. Instead of the abusive husband not doing it and having respect for his wife, just the opposite happens. You become his property to beat and abuse you as often as he pleases. He not only will beat you, he will take every shred of your self respect. He will tell you that know one will ever love you the way he does. He will alienate your friends and family so you will have no one but him to rely on. This person will be in total control of your life. He may not let you out of the house, and you end up becoming a prisoner in your own home. All the things that go wrong in your marriage will always be your fault and that will be his excuse to verbally abuse you, or hit you. If you become pregnant, you will be hit or beat anyway and sometimes will end up losing the baby. If you do have a baby, the baby will grow up witnessing you being beat on and verbally abused.

So do you still think you want to hook up with a loser that is abusive or beats you? If you go ahead after reading this, you cannot not say you were not warned about what would happen to you.

Answer 3

NO, absolutely NOT...I am speaking from experience here and they only get worse , not better...Once you are married then you are truly their piece of property and then you get pregnant and you have brought a child into this mess..Honey,,please believe me, I say this from the heart, a broken one at that, you can not change a person unless he or she feels they have a problem...Most of the time once an abuser always an abuser in one form or another. The cycle of abuse is a dangerous one that seems to cycle faster and more painful once you commit..He may tell you now the only reason he is doing this is he loves you so much and is so afraid of losing you that he can't control himself. Then comes the "if you would only marry me then I would not feel so insecure and would not have to be so jealous, well he is feeding you a line, which he might even believe himself..But trust me.,.it will only get worse and worse the longer you stay and Please don't marry him.....

Answer 4

Please read this repeatedly, if a man hits you once, he will hit you again! This is at least 90% true. My ex was abusive during 3 years of dating and when I thought I was ready to leave the relationship, he asked me to marry him. Foolishly, I did, because I thought he would have a greater respect for me if I were his wife. Sadly, I was mistaken, the abuse got so much worse, because then he thought he owned me. I was a victim of every form of abuse a husband can inflict on his wife, for the next six years. After leaving the hospital one day, a police officer took me to a center for abused women where I learned his abuse was a sickness that became an addiction for HIM. It's an endless cycle only if you allow yourself to stay the victim. I joined the military to escape him and legally changed my name. When I built up the courage, I filed a civil suit against him for years of physical and psychological abuse which truly left me emotionally scarred. I wish you the best of luck. Be strong. Nobody will truly love or respect you until you can first love and respect yourself. God Bless.

Answer 5

It will only get worst. If your husband or soon to be...abuses you...LEAVE HIM. You can do your own research....put in any search engine, BATTERED WOMEN and see how many things pop up.

I think a person who knows that their partner is abusive, is a fool to continue their relationship thinking or hoping it will get better. It does not. It will only be hope. I think women who are with abusive men have very low self-esteems and if they don't, they soon will.

I watched a special on 20/20 about a woman who married an abusive man. He literally made her a prisoner in her own home. Outside locks for the doors. He covered the windows in aluminum foil. And would accompany her everywhere. And would beat her for no reason. If you have the opportunity to get out of this relationship, I suggest you do. You will regret it or end up like all the other battered women with no chance, ends up.

Answer 6

No, if a man is abusive towards you he will not suddenly stop just because you are married. If anything, it could and most likely will get worse. There is no excuse for a boyfriend to be abusive, ever. Nobody should ever stick around in a relationship like that, and should definately not marry the guy until he gets some professional help for his behavior.

Answer 7

No, but that doesn't mean that you can find out why he behaves that way before you get married.
He may be attracted to you because you do the things that let him play out the abuse that was caused to him. He doesn't know any other way to respond, so he needs to learn what makes him feel this way and new personal skills to deal with it. You may have to learn what patterns you display that plays into his dysfunction.
It is a dangerous area to be in, so don't do it alone. Don't do it without his knowledge. He has to acknowledge that this is a problem that needs to be fixed. If he doesn't think anything is wrong, then you will be wasting your time. Move on.

Answer 8

If your boyfriend is abusive to you, what makes you think that he will change? If you get married to him, he will treat you like dirt and will not have any respect whatsoever with you. Run not Walk away from him, he is not going to change, most Men that are like him do not, if you think you are being abused by him and you think he will be more lovable and will change you better think again. You do not mention how old you are, but, there are a lot of Men out there that are sweet,lovable and know how to treat a Lady, here's hoping that you will heed my advice and will try to get rid of him as soon as Possible.

Answer 9

The truth---if he is abusive now while you are dating, that is just a sample of what you would be going thru once he is married to you! It won't get better for you-it will get worse. Please, if he has told you anything like that, that is a 100% LIE! Guys like that, once you are married to them, you are their "property", you best do as they say, when and how they say, or you'll "get it". Guys like this don't know what respect is. They know what fear is, to make you scared of them. They call that respect-for them only. Not for you. At all. Yes, my ex husband was abusive. He didn't hit me, but he did show his temper in other, not so safe ways. A good movie for you to watch, is "The Burning Bed". I think the name of another one is "Stranger In My Bed". These are movies of women who have been abused, and how dangerous it can get. Please, if your boyfriend is being abusive to you now, get away from him ASAP! Get a restraining order on him ASAP! I'm serious. Please, in your area, locate a Center For Battered Women. Your guy can't know what you are doing, or definitely NOT where you are going. Find out from them, get some literature from them about abuse. I truly wish you the best. Take care.

Answer 10

If your boy friend is abusive that is really not good. The minor problems you have now are nothing!

Think about when you get married how much frustration and problems will come up that will get him mad and stressful which im guessing = abuse

My advice is to get out of this situation usually abusive men get more abusive as the relationship gets deeper because more problems arise

Best of luck

Answer 11

he will be more abusive to you after you marry, men who are abusive feel a sense of power and control . if you marry him he will feel like he owns you and you cannot leave him. it could be a fatal decision in the long run. he would have to get counseling to have a chance of changing, you should also seek counseling to answer the question as to why you feel like a man who abuses you makes you stay with him and love him . do you not think that you deserve better? until you can demand and expect a man to love you and respect you . abusive men is all you will find yourself with.