He is doing every thing that he can to get me back. He send me a dozen roses every week, gave me a promise ring to promise me he would never hurt or lie to me again. I feel tht it is over, I can't trust him any more. He will not give up. What can I tell him to understand that it is over after 15 years. He is spending hudreds of dollars sending me a differnet color of roses every week and I have told him tht I am not in love with him and it is over. I want to stay friends because of our son. I don't want to hurt him any more than I have. I have told him to save his money and not send me roses every week, which is costing 90 bucks a week. He thinks there is still and chance even though I have told him it is over and I am not in love with him. He will not give up. He even put a personal ad in my local paper telling me how much he loves me. It took me leaving him for him to realize that he has messed up. Besides telling him it it's over what else can I say?
2007-02-22 15:55:50 · 14 answers · asked by aloneathome 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
U must think again... u may not miss him as much as ur son might need him.
2007-02-22 16:01:26 · answer #1 · answered by delnaz k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well good for you because if it took for you to leave him and for him to realize that he did wrong then good for you. Please don't go back to him. Right now that you and your husband are seperated he is sending you these flowers which are really sweet, but lets just say that if you go back with him then he might keep doing for a while, but then stop. He will probly go back into his old routine which you are not sure of because you don't trust him anymore. And he's caused you so much pain that the love you once had has left. So don't think of staying with him because of your kid. Right now your child might not understand, but as he gets older he will and will be there for you and you might even get to know someone else. You should have a really serious talk with him and let him know that no matter how many roses or ads he sends you, is not going to make you change your mind. Let him understand that all the years you were with him and the way he treated you has cause not to trust him anymore and you no longer feel any affection for him. Let him know that your going to give him a chance of have a friendship for the sake of your child. If he doesn't understand then just let him know that no matter what your not going back to him, but you'll let him see or visit his son. Wish you luck
2007-02-23 00:11:16 · answer #2 · answered by shy_gal2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. If you are certain that there is nothing left, that you do not love him anymore stick to your guns and do not cave in. Tell him one more time that it is over. Remind him of just why it is over and let him know that any trust or love you had for him went away when whatever it was happened. Tell him once more to stop sending you flowers and things. After that do not tallk to him anymore. Do not initiate any contact and cut it off short should he make some contact with you. If he calls you simply state "I have told you it is over. I am not going to change my mind. Do not call or contact me again or I will get a restraining order..... and then do it.
2007-02-23 00:04:06 · answer #3 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to start a savings account for your son and put the rose money in it. You might also take out a personals ad in the same paper and state that you will consider all who respond to your ad except __________(your husband's name). That should give him the final word.
2007-02-23 00:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your actions will speak much louder than your words...which are falling on deaf ears. When he sends the flowers, have the florist re-deliver them to him or to a nursing home or hospital and to let him know where they ended up. Keep a good record of how much he's spending in the event he attempts to hide his income from the divorce court. LOL
2007-02-23 00:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by Lois M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some people that just won't take no for an answer. I'd recommend that you discontinue all contact with him UNLESS it pertains to your child. Refuse the flowers....do not answer his calls, etc. If it pertains to your child, he can leave a message and you can get back with him. When a person shows their inability to respect your wishes, you have few options in terms on continuing contact with them.
2007-02-23 00:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by Michele D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to hand the cash over to you. You'll get more use out of the money than you will flowers and an ad.
2007-02-23 00:25:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you obviously do love him...
give him another chance,you'll make a better example for your son...
he is doing everything in his power to get you back,because he cares,if he didnt than he wouldnt be doing all of that he would have let you alone and found someone else obviously he made a mistake and it was a one time thing,he'll probabaly never do it again,he learned his lesson...
you've punished him enough
2007-02-23 00:03:00 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this is how you feel then stop all contact unless it regarding your
son. time to cut all ties, , when he send the rose, sent them back.
and let him know that it is over, for good. sometme your actions
speaking louder then your words. he will get the message soon
but he feel that he can do this and get you back.but you right
once the trust is gone, then it done. and he need to get it.
2007-02-23 00:17:20 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say that it is over. period. Contact me thru my lawyer. Keep tabs on frivolous spending to get you back. Tell him the attention he is giving you now shold have been given 15 years ago.
2007-02-23 00:09:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELLO GIRL WHAT DID HE DO THAT CAUSE YOU TO FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH HIM I HAVE NOT BEEN ON IN A LONG TIME BUT HE SEEM LIKE HE KNOWS HE MESS UP BAD WELL I THINK YOU SHOULD TRY AND TALK THINGS OUT I'M DEALING WITH MY HUSBAND CHEATING AND IT VERY HARD BECAUSE HE LIED AND LIED BUT I LOVE HIM AND MY KIDS SO WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK NOT FOR THE KIDS BUT FOR US WE HAVE BEEN MARRY 13 YEARS BE SAFE AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR SON TAKE CARE.
P.S WISH WE COULD TALK BY E-MAIL.
2007-02-23 00:07:27 · answer #11 · answered by Chocolate34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋