I live with my boyfriend, we have been together 3 and a half years, he is 27, i am 21. i want a baby but he all the time trying to convince me the time isnt right for us, he says we should wait until we have a house bought which we are hoping to do within a year.. He says he is really looking forward to being a parent with me but we are not ready yet...
i know we will both make fantastic parents, we both have good jobs and the ball is already on buying a house. we both have lots of experience of kids from our families and i have qualifications in childcare..
its not like we would miss nights out or anything because he doesnt drink, and we love nights in more.
i think here shouldnt be a problem with trying to get pregnant now because we will more than handle it.
i would never do it the sneaky way of pretending to be on the pill or break a condom, but how can i convince him now is the time?
2007-02-22 14:31:40 · 15 answers · asked by purplegal 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
relax! you have plenty of time for a baby. My wife is 21 and is 40wks plus 1 with our 3rd baby however we have both always wanted a baby every time and she to has never been deceitful and tried to trick me by getting pregnant. If you love, care and respect your partner then you will accept that he wants to wait a while before having a baby.
2007-02-22 23:01:45 · answer #1 · answered by thedaddy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not ready I would not do it. And he has some good points like wanting to get a house first and trying to get your life going first. Babies are cute but don't rush into having one just yet. Make sure that you enjoy all the time that you two have together alone first. Because even though you won't miss going out, you WILL miss the time that you have alone with each other. Have some fun together, go on a trip, Have an adventure.
Just make sure that you are both ready before you have one. The time will come. I'm sure you will make great parents but let him catch up. Remember that as a guy he feels like he needs to protect both you and the baby and if he dosen't feel like he can do it it will be a very scary experiance for him. Wait until he feels secure that every thing is right. Don't rush him
2007-02-22 14:45:21 · answer #2 · answered by duobat00 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all he doesn't need convincing, if you try to push this on his he will only end up resenting you and possibly the baby if he genuinely not ready. You are young, and he is right. Get the house, get married and then have kids. Children are expensive and it could mean you won't be able to get the house you want or you'll have to put it off by several years. This is a two-way street, if you believe your relationship will last then settle for the fact that waiting a year or so will not hurt. In the mean time get checked out by your OB and make sure everything is going good and start taking prenatal vitamins, you should be taking them for at least 3 months prior to conception for the best chances at not having birth defects. Trust in the fact that later on you'll be glad you can say you were married and had the house first. Look at it this way, when looking for a house you can plan which room will be the nursery and how to decorate it while you wait. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-02-22 16:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by tylw85 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
To be honest I think your boyfriend is right, you should definitely wait until you're settled into a house before you try for the baby. He's probably thinking more about you than you realise, a pregnant woman does not need the hassle and stress of worrying about house deals and problems with the house that could occur. Especially as this would be your first child, you really should wait until you have the comfort and safety of your own home.
Do you really need to rush? it sounds like you are a very happy couple, waiting will not hurt you any and I think that once you two are together in your own home it'll be much nicer, plus you can christen every room in the house if you know what i mean ;)
2007-02-22 16:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by Clare E 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, relax! You have plenty of time for that, and it would honestly be better if you had a house and were married. I still don't have a house, since I got pregnant a few months after our wedding - and things aren't looking good for the near future either! Get that house first, and work on getting married and enjoying the time you have together. It sounds like your boyfriend has a good head on his shoulders and is doing the responsible thing! You definitely have a wonderful guy, so just give him some time. He will come to that decision on his own. When he's ready, he's ready, and there isn't much you can do to convince him otherwise. Good luck!!!
2007-02-22 14:37:18 · answer #5 · answered by Megan 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Becoming a parent is something that each person need to come to on their own time. It sounds to me like he is almost there but you need to be patient with him and give him the time that he needs. You are both still young a waiting the year that he is asking for can be a great time to get yourself really ready to be a parent. There are plenty of things to be done before you start TTC like getting checkups and getting yourself into peak physical condition to have a baby. I wish you both the best and I encourage you to think about both sides before you make any major life decisions. Good Luck.
2007-02-22 14:47:56 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs Adams 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont rush into it hun, i am 21 and i have a 5month old baby boy and i love him to peices but its harder work than i ever thought! i got married and we have got a house, but within 2 years of meeting we did all this and had a baby, i sometimes wish we had more toime together as a couple, because for the first months, even years of a childs life you will have no time for each other, and i swear it puts pressure on everyones relationship! a child is the most special thing in the world but so is your relationship! i guarantee you if you have a baby now you would regret having to give up your job. get married, get your dream home and then everything will fall into place. your young, you have plenty of time, enjoy your man and listen to his wishes and look forward to your future together. xx
2007-02-22 21:30:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
that is okay so which you would be able to be afflicted - particularly if she has 4 different toddlers and would not have custody of any of them. there is obviously some thing incorrect with this women human beings. i desire that she will do spectacular with the aid of this baby, and be a real make certain to it! i could be certain you keep supportive of your brother. that's what he desires on the age he's at. understand what I mean?
2016-11-25 01:11:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got pregnant at 19. m 21 now but i realized that i had to respect the decision of my partner and waited till he was ready . i would like a second one now but i respect he wantas to wait. weve been together for 4 1/2 years. you cant convince. hes thiking about your future together and if you try and push it on him he may back away and you dont want that. respect you will have a child sooner or later.
2007-02-22 14:37:46 · answer #9 · answered by miraclebaby_2006 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
all these people telling you that you have plenty of time well, thats not necessarily true, who knows you could walk out the door and something could happen tomorrow [God forbid of course] but seriously, these days, the time to start living is NOW. This world is insane and who knows whats going to happen in the near future let alone 5-10 years from now. Let your boyfriend know that people don't always have 'all the time in the world' and that you would love to share this experience with him and start your life with your family as soon as you can, good luck girl. <3
2007-02-22 21:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by LovexRemedy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋