husband buys another woman a $130.00 outfit as a thank you gift for "helping him with legal papers"?

Question

My husband all of a sudden seemed to be at a certain office uptown alot, he repairs office machines for a living but this was not a customer of ours the woman running the office also lives down the street from us. He was filling out some morgage papers etc.. and she helped {i guess} some? But is it wrong for me to be mad as hell when i found a reciept in his pocket where he had bought her a $130.00 outfit as a "thank you" the outfit was hidden in our vehicle because he knew it was wrong when confronted about all of it he blames me for being jealous? I also found on our cell phone bill where they were sending text almost every night until sometimes 2:00 A.M. and talking 5-10 times daily for 20 -30 min per call!! Now am i just crazy jealous for no reason ? Also he has never went to the mall and picked out a outfit for me !!

I plan on showing him these answers so he can see it's NOT ME WHO IS WRONG

after i found the reciept and the clothing i went STRAIGHT to the mall and got his money back and bought myself something and he had the balls to get pissed about it

Answer 1

He is doing her. And $130.00 is a pretty cheap outfit.

Answer 2

Your husband must take you for a fool. A married man has no business talking to another woman all hours of the night and buying clothes for her. How the f*ck would he know her clothing size? That is a personal item. He is trying to turn the tables around and make it seem like you are just jealous. I would probably confront the other woman and ask her. She will probably tell you the truth or her body language and behavior will give you all the info you need.

Answer 3

I was once told by a very dear friend that if it feels wrong then it usually is. My older sister also taught me that the best form of defence is an attack - which his description of you as jealous is (diverting the blame). I would be wanting to know how he knew the size and style his 'legal advisor' wore.

He knows his behaviour is wrong and well they may not have taken it to a physical level but their is no reason he needs legal advice at 2am so the next question MUST be - what would they be talking about??

I think you should let him know how this relationship is making you feel - I am sure he would be suspicious if the shoe is on the other foot but at the end of the day - clothes are a very personal thank you gift.

Answer 4

You seem more upset about the outfit than the 2 am phone calls. My husband frequently sends business associates (women) flowers for helping out in a time of need with our business or for providing their services for a discounted rate or doing pro-bono work. As a way to say thank you. However, he is not chatting with them a 2 am. You are jealous he got her a gift and not you, obviously, but the calls are to real issue.

Answer 5

Salaam Alaykum, She can and you are right it is best to stay during times of illness. The impotence thing is I believe based on if the couple is young and wants a child but the husband cannot give her. I have heard of a family friend's relative getting divorce for this. But most times I see rarely divorce in Islam...most old couples I have seen stay on for life long after impotence,old age, and even illness to enjoy the fruits of their labor and beautiful grandchildren. I believe the prophet frowned on divorce unless it was absolutely unavoidable adultary,mental physical abuse, and if the husband was bahaving in the way of a non believer. However the divorce must be final before she can wed and there are legal things like child custody and property to be settled. I agree with Sara sorry mispelled the name sis about having Sabr Wa alaykum salaam

Answer 6

YOU EVERY RIGHT TO BE JEALOUS!!! YOUR HUSBAND IS DEAD DEAD WRONG! Seems like he might have a fling with this woman. That says a lot about him he buys her an expensive outfit and he has never bought you an outfit??? Oh thats just plain crazy! You should be VERY suspicious also I wouldn't be surprised if they ever had a roll in the hay together!

Answer 7

I have a friend who did something very similar with a woman-- the text messenging and phone calls.

It may be an emotional affair of sorts-- I would not jump to conclusions about him having sex with her. They may find themselves attracted to each other and carrying on an emotional sort of attachment. They may be infatuated with each other--- and sex does not need to be part of it.

Getting angry at him may not help at this point. Trying to be understanding (I know, it may be VERY tough) may get to the bottom of what is really going on.

My friend had a great marriage, but sometimes men stray emotionally when they start feeling those butterflies and that attraction they may not have felt in awhile! Buying things for this women and the chatting may be taking him back to those days of dating that people sometimes miss.

I hate to say it, but opening up the lines of communication and putting aside your own hurt feelings for a moment may save your marriage. It may be a temporary infatuation or emotional affair. But I can simpathize for you.

Basically, do not make any rash decisions. It is tough for a relationship to recover from an affair (physical or emotional), but often affairs are temporary-- marriages are permanent.

In our society people are under the impression that if a man has an affair (physical or emotional) the woman needs to "dump his a--" Just look at all the non-intelligent answers above telling you to do that! But I believe there is no point in making a permanent solution that will hurt both of you in response to a temporary problem in your marriage.

Answer 8

He has a mistress.. An possibly playing sugar daddy. I would move on.. or at least get it out in the open somehow. I know you probably love him.. but No one as a thank you buys someone an outfit.. How would he know what size to buy? You need to stand up for yourself.. and not stand for this treatment. If you love him and want to stay.. go for counseling. If not possibly talk about separation. Also, Take his cell phone.. if he has nothing to hide he will let you have it.. It's time for him to prove himself.. You can't just blame her he has his share of blame also.. I wish you luck.

Answer 9

After being married to a man who was having an affair with a woman he worked with, I think I can say that is what may be happening, or getting ready to happen. I tried denying all the signs too but in retrospect...they were all there...plain as day when I look back. He can try to accuse you of being jealous, but he is the one who is keeping secrets and hiding things from you. You cannot trust him anymore. This is not an easy thing to go through...but you will!! Just takes time:) Be preparred and I wish you all the luck. If you have children...I pray you both think of them first. GOD bless you all...

Answer 10

Sounds like husband is being naughty & he is turning around on to you so he makes you think that nothing is going on......
If I was you I would check into this allot more... It all ready sounds to fishy to me.... He could of got her a gift card for dinner some where instead of a outfit... you know what I mean? It sounds like there is more then just a friendly friend ship going on...
But you know him better then any of us... so keep on checking on things. Some one once told me that if you feel that he is cheating on you & you feel it in your heart you better start fishing around to find out what he is up too....
It is not jealousness it is being a wife...
Good luck to you :")

Answer 11

No it has a reason.... and a good one at that. Hes screwing her. The reason he gets defensive is because he knows its wrong. My advice find someone that does buy you a outfit. And do it so he knows it and is jealous as hell. Let him know what it feels like.