Why don't he appreciate anything I do?

Question

Does anyone elses Husband not appreciate anything you do? I know my Husband works hard so I can stay home with our kids but, I always have supper done and the house cleaned our kids are taken care of.. All I want is a thank you sometimes. I thank him for being such a wonderful provider all the time. Anyone else have this problem? I have tried telling him how I feel but, he just says "I do tell you" when he doesn't!

Answer 1

When I was married I felt the same. Now hes crying as his house is dirty, he doesnt see his kids and cant find someone to keep him warm at nite and wash his clothes. Yes, poor baby.

Alot of my friends complain (its nagging/complaining till you change it my dear) about the same thing- not being appreciated. Many try the 'lets date again thing' but that doesnt last long, others try confronting which can just push him away.

Take some time to appreciate yourself and not look to him for approval. You do a great job and you know it. Your kids will appreciate it (much later in life). Treat yourself. Call up some friends and do coffee, buy a book, get your nails done, spend an afternoon at the beach, your hobbies, however you see fit appreciate and do something for you.

If he dont like it- all else fails Go on Strike.


P

Answer 2

Men don't often react well to being told what they should do. You did the right thing by telling him how you feel now it's up to him to react in his own way. He may not say it in so many words but I'm sure he appreciates what you do. Hopefully you go out and aren't always at home. If you are, then maybe it's time to get a hobby. When he comes home from work, be ready to leave and head out to your new hobby. Leaving him to fend for his own supper and take care of the children. He might react sooner then later. Good luck and hope this helped.

Answer 3

thats horrible that he doesnt but if he says he does he might be but sometimes guys do it in funny ways. where you have to look for the underline meaning in actions that he does. sometimes guys have a hard time saying how they feel so they do little things for you like bringing flowers or taking you to dinner or as bad as it sounds cleaning up there own mess sometimes is there way of saying they appreciate you. If there is nothing like this im sorry you just got one of those guys that are like that. I tell my wife on a regular basis I appreciate everything she does becasue I understand that even thought this is a little thing it can turn into a big problem.

Answer 4

Maybe your husband is one of the those guys that can't express their feelings very well. If he expects the house to be clean and supper ready, then you have a problem. But, if he is nice to you and does not expect things like that done, then he just doesn't know how.

Answer 5

OH WOW! I just asked the same question a few wks ago! 16 yrs of marriage 2 kids and NEVER a thank you! I keep telling him. Don't u understand a thankyou goes a long way! I'm always going outta my way to do something nice for him and he will never thank me. he just expects it now. He will just laugh when I say HELLO! thank you! I told him I'm gonna send him back to kindergarden to teach him manners. I'm very big on manners w/my 2 kids. But don't expect alot of good advice on here. Every1 told me to leave him. I still love him I just wanna get a thanku once in a while right? It's not like I'm saying he's beating me or something. We need to start a unappreciated wives club! ha!ha!

Answer 6

He tells you by being a good provider & a good dad...
some man don't like to show there feelings so they just don't say any thing they show it in other ways.... He is still with you only Right? So that should tell you something.... Like my husband he is about the same way... so I know how you feel... Hang in there he sound like a good guy.... you are just being a girl... as the words that come out of my husbands mouth... lol...
It will turn out all right you will see...

Answer 7

I've always been a believer in it's not what you say it's what you do. If he show's appreciation that's all that matters. Words feel good sometimes but they can also be just that "WORDS" with no action behind them. Actions rarely lie.

Keep doing what you do and let him keep doing what he do as long as what he's doing is "showing appreciation".

Love him for being the wonderful provider that he is.

Answer 8

hmm, kinda sounds like my fiance, i mean he was a classic mama's boy, who was used to doing nothing around the house, and i mean NOTHING! right down from getting his own drinks, to doing his own laundry to balancing his checkbook. i mean seriously, his mom made his appointments, opened his mail and cleaned his room and his toilet. i told him that one of the requirements of his being with me and me staying with him was that he learn how to do stuff for himself and to start actually doing the things he already knew how to do. i told him i would not mind doing laundry and stuff, but at the same time, when i have worked 12 hours and he has the day off, that it is not the end of the world if he has to put a load of clothes into the dryer, order a pizza, let the dog out and god forbid, bring his own work clothes up to the laundry room so I can wash them. so just let him know that you need to feel needed, or just stop doing things and when he starts to notice, and believe me he will, then just say "I have a hard time doing things because i dont feel appreciated." then he should thank you and also maybe help out a little. or a lot.

Answer 9

All men are wired differently to women, it appears that they show their appreciation by things they DONOT do; for example:
Your husband doesn't go straight to the pub after work, he doesn't tell you to go out and get a "job" ( In my opinion motherhood is 4 jobs-in-one), and he doesn't keep all the money he earns for himself.
I'm sure ( and I know this from personal experience) if you angrily tell him that he doesn't appreciate you, he will tell you the same.
Go figure!

Answer 10

You guys should have a seroius chat about it. Sit him down one night (when the kids are asleep, if you have any) and really let your heart out. Maybe see a marriage counsellor, they're great. You need to really let him know how much it's bothering you... maybe he doesn't know...

Guys are quite insensitive to these issues and need a bit of pushing sometimes..