We have been together sooo long, I need help
2007-02-22 13:35:51 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow, I can't believe you've stayed with him this long. Kudos to you! I'd just flat out ask him where is your relationship going? If there are no talks about marriage, or long term commitment, and if you're looking for it, maybe he's not the right one. Good luck.
2007-02-22 13:40:58 · answer #1 · answered by glassflower 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him. And if he won't, after 10 years, cut him loose and look elsewhere.
I note your two other recent questions - in one you want to lose 20lbs and in the other you want to know if you are pregnant.
Can I just say, if you are trying to hang on to him by losing weight or getting pregnant this is NOT the way to do it. Neither of these things will change who YOU ARE or who HE IS.
If he hangs around just because you lose 20lbs then he's a shallow man.
If he hangs around just because you're pregnant neither of you will ever be happy. That's if he hangs around.
Honestly, 10 years is a very long time and if you can't get it together by now, or can't get up the courage to ask him about it, you really have to be asking yourself:
Is this what I want? (Obviously not)
Is this worth it? (Absolutely not)
Do I deserve better? (You certainly do)
I wish you good luck. Don't do anything rash.
2007-02-22 18:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by SydneyMum101 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure how old you are but you need to sit down with him and ask him where he sees the relationship going. If he says hes not ready for marriage, kids etc, then hes never going to be. If thats the case, unfortunately, you really should break up with him and find someone who wont waste any more of your time, especially if you want to have children. No point in being with someone who doesnt want the things you want.
Either that or stay and be stuck in a dead end relationship
2007-02-22 13:40:51 · answer #3 · answered by Suzieq 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You simply stop sleeping with him and tell him to find somewhere else to live until you see a marriage license on your kitchen table and an appointment with the Justice of the Peace to get your marriage certificate. Tell him it's the wedding chapel next door to where you get the marriage license at your local courthouse. The whole thing will cost about $100, and he can invite his friends and you can invite yours or not. Don't take "no" for an answer, tell him if he can't commit, you are moving-on. Then move-on.
2007-02-22 14:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend in your situation. If he hasn't asked you by now then he is completely happy with your arrangement. It's convenient, no real commitment, and best of all you deal with it. It's up to you to let him know how you're feeling. I'm sure you love him or you wouldn't still be with him after 10 years, but is this how you really want to keep your relationship?
2007-02-22 13:39:54 · answer #5 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when your together at dinner or lying in bed at night lean over to him and let him know that you might be interested in " more" from the relationship. 10 years is a long time to get to know somebody. so i am assuming he must know you by now. find out what his reasons are and see what you two can do to change things.
2007-02-22 13:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by bubba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave now and run! I had this issue for 11 1/2 years before I wised up and got out. If he hasn't committed yet, he is not going to. Mine kept telling me one more year, one more year. I finally got tired of it and got out. It's been 7 years now since we broke up and he'll still call and try to see me. I just ask him if he bought the ring yet and he'll leave me alone for another month or two. Dont waste anymore time. I regret not getting out sooner!
2007-02-22 13:41:37 · answer #7 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if he hasn't done it yet he's probably not going to. Ten years is a long time for a couple to be together. If the desire for serious committment was there, he'd have done it long ago.
2007-02-22 13:40:09 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I f you dump him and let him know why maybe he will commit. But after all this time it looks like he won't. There's no way to make a man marry you if he does not want to or love you.
2007-02-22 13:42:47 · answer #9 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, he has been stringing you along for 10 years! It doesn't sound like he wants a real commitment. You need to think about cutting him loose!
2007-02-22 13:39:36 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋