Here's what's going on. My ex-husband walked out on me almost a year ago. He cheated on me repeatedly and he was emotionally abusive. I met this new man and we've been together for six months now and I can't help but worry that he's going to walk out on me like the last one did. He's declared his love for me and we've got a really strong relationship, but i'm still afraid. What can I do to help myself lose this insecure feeling? I'm afraid it's going to end up ruining my relationship with him if I don't do something about it. Has anyone else ever had this same kind of experience?
2007-02-22 13:16:40 · 5 answers · asked by ♫Joshua's~♥~Girl♫ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just count your lucky stars! Be happy that the one who cheated on you and was verbally abusive is gone! It sounds like you have a wonderful man.....thank God! Yes, I have had the same kind of experience and ruined a relationship. You are afraid of course, you have been through alot, and I am sure your new man understands this. But starting tomorrow suprise him, and start putting into your new relationship. You have to learn to trust again sweetie.One step at a time.
2007-02-22 13:53:42 · answer #1 · answered by espee65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation. I was with my husband for a total of 17 years, but i was only married 7, i am only 29 years old, so i know what it is like to be hurt after being cheated on after such a long period of time. It has been 2 years now we are finally divorced, and i never thought i would love again, and I did, and I am happier than i ever been with my new man of a year now. But be careful, i was in a rebound for a lit bit afterwards, and its normal to still feel that you will get cheated on, and can Never trust again, but DO NOT make this relationship like the last, dont compare, dont assume for the worst, and dont feel insecure because of what he did to you, this doesnt mean that every guy is like the other, have faith & always think positive, good things come out of something that was once bad, and you learn from your mistakes and it CAN only make you a stronger person. Good Luck!
2007-02-22 21:46:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not the exact same experiance. but i do feel insecure in my relationship.
my man cheated on my more then 2 years ago. I left him, but we decided to get back together a few months later because i was pregnant.
it has been so long, and he is home with me every night, and i always know where he is going and what he is doing, but i still feel insecure.
just the other day i think i got passed it. But you cant do it by your self, your new man needs to help you.
when he goes out and does personal things, he should answer his cell phone while he is with his friends, and maybe text you and say "i love you." im sure that if you can just watch him and make sure he is being good to you and just see it one time. then you probably wont ever have to look at him like that again. after you see it once. then you will know everything is ok.
talk it over with your new man, and see how he feels about it
2007-02-22 21:28:21 · answer #3 · answered by jiggamaboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy to trust after you have been betrayed so badly, believe me, I have been there and done that..all you can do is take in all his love, and, when you get those insecure feelings go to him and hold him tight, trust me he will sense something is wrong if you approach him right and he WILL respond. I would also recomend talking to him about these feelings afterall it's not a strong relationship if there are secrets....honesty is the key, no matter how hard it is and the time...It will all work out in the end
2007-02-22 21:26:16 · answer #4 · answered by adamsgrl1123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi. what u r feeling is quite normal i guess its only going to take some time for u to trust another man but if u really want this guy and u explain to him what u r feeling and try to get him to understand, he might get upset that u r comparing him with ur ex but he should understand eventually if he really cared. i also suggest that you go for counselling as this can help u and try ur ever best not to think about what ur ex did to u when u r with this guy just think of it that the other guy loose and if this guy wants to do the same it will be his loss also but enjoy every moment of ur time spent 2gether now and live everyday as if it is the last. i kno its very hard and thats y u going to need a counseller to help u through this if u want to talk more its shaneka_hall@yahoo.com i will do my best to help you.
2007-02-22 21:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by Shaneka H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋