Should I be upset?

Question

I have been married for 22+ years and my husband worked
at a university at which I now also work. We have a weird working
relationship because we share the same supervisor and he works
just down from me. We ride to work together, eat lunch together , have 2 breaks together and all but one of the coworkers are male.

Well, I find out this week that my husband has told all our private
intimacies and fights and more all these years, and now they
are being brought up by my coworkers during lunch, breaks
and before work and after. These are private matters and
when I addressed this to him tonight, he just shrugged it off and told me to "bite me".

I told him that if he didn't want me to tell his idiosyncrasies that he
had better tell them to QUIT bringing it up.

should I be this mad?

Just for the record, no I never talked to anyone about these things, I felt that they
were private.

thanks for the replies

Answer 1

Some people just have to share their misery with all that will listen..your husband is one of them. Give him a taste of his own medicine, and the next time you have a fight, make sure you tell all the intimate details to one of his close friends! Let's see how he likes it! What is good for the goose is good for the gander. I despise having my affairs spread all over town by my other half everytime we have a fight...but it goes on and on...I just shrug it off, ask how they (the friends who have to listen to all of this) like hearing about all the dirt...usually it bores the hell out of them.
make light of it, make a joke of it, and you will come out on top. But if you are going to bring up any of this, make sure the others are present..after all, they have been there for many years...why stop the party...lets see how your husband reacts when you fire back...in public...if he objects, say "Bite me."

Answer 2

It depends. Have you ever confided in your friends about fights/intimacies with your husband? Maybe it wasn't the wisest choice on his part, but if you are talking to some of your friends about the same topics, isn't that hypocritical? (I'm not saying that you did or didn't, since I would obviously have no way of knowing this.)

As for the "bite me" comment, that's a little over the edge. Personally, I think "bite me" would be the last thing a guy would want to tell his wife. I cringe just thinking about it. Ouch!!!

Answer 3

This is unforgivable, breaking the the trust between a husband and wife. If he can't see your concern he is an insensitive brute. I know two wrongs don't make a right but play at his own game. Without being too crude, start to drop a few hints that his performance in bed might not be all it should, things like that. It will be interesting to see how he feels when the shoes on the other foot

Answer 4

Well from a "Mans" prospective...YES he was WRONG....and YES you have every....no make that EVERY right to be P ISSED! I would have Bit him alright....I never could understand Why SOME men talk about private matters to others.....male or female....its WRONG! I once worked with a so called "man" who....every dam lunch hour would talk about his sex life....like I want to know that your wife gives a great BJ ect. I finally had enough of listening to this crap and told him that my wife had started working at the same place his wife worked at....which was a small lie *G* and she was asking my wife if all men could only last 3 minutes....and if it was true that the average erection was only 3 inches. Ya know we never heard any more about his sex life at lunch time....go figure.
You MUST let him know that if he keeps this up.....the ONLY thing he will have to talk about is how he has been cut off....and maybe in more ways than one!

Answer 5

I think thisis typical but not by any means right, most men don't work with their wives so they never find out. Women tell their girlfriends all the time things that happen in the marriage about the husbands short comings and yet that seems ok to some....even though its not ok. I would sit down and have a chat with him , it is really inappropriate. Is he jealous of your job?

Answer 6

I should think and hope so! You can try it, the idiosyncrasies or read this......These are subjects that one just don't share with others. If one wants to share his/her private intimacies with others, he/she would be better of with a video of such encounters. That would eliminate the need for questions. Don't bring this to his attention (sounds like he might do it). I am not a counselor nor do I address my self as one. What I am saying to you is I think it would be best for you and him to seek marriage counseling. If he chooses to deny and tell you it is not necessary, Problems are sure to fallow. Maybe not immediately, but surely they will fallow. You need to give him an ultimatum. "We have an appointment at ?:?? on ?/?/07 with Mr/Mrs ?. If you choose not to join me to try to correct our problem, I will need to move on. I need a man who will respect my social life as well my private life as I do for him".

Answer 7

You have every right to be upset considering that this is now your work enviorment also. BUT you have to also understand that men talk to their co workers and friends about "the wife" just like us women talk about the husband. Talk to him and tell him that him sharing the intimate details of your relationship with your fellow co workers makes it very uncomfortable for you and that you'd appreciate it if he did not tell them anything more than he has.

Answer 8

Canes might have the experiance area, however the Bruins have the offensive area, the protective area, the specai lteams area and the Goalie area. Bruins in 4 in line with hazard 5 if the Canes get fortunate. ANd the Canes did no longer in simple terms beat the final goalie in the NHL, through fact is Tim Thomas, atleast this year, ultimate GAA and ultimate shop %.

Answer 9

oh heck yeah, I'd be mad.... these are private conversations and have no business being said to others. However, it would be different if you didn't work with these people and they were just average Joe's that your hubby worked with, but you have to face them and how would he like it if you started talking to everyone about his flaws, or his fantasies? A serious talk needs to happen.

Answer 10

You should be furious that he blabbed all your personal business. As for him telling you to bite him, tell him if he doesn't stop blabbling there will be no need to you to bite him, why should you when you can sic an attorney on his ***. That attorney can take a chunk out of his ***.