To see more of my poems, go to poetry.com, and type 'Whitney Hales' into the searchbar. I AM NOT Whitney K. Hales. I'm just Whitney Hales.
The curtain parts
And night reveals
The new hope I call dawn.
Such wonderful colors
Gracing the sky
With ethereal glory
Blue for humility,
Pink for charity,
Orange for beauty.
With peaceful prelude...
Now comes the day!
Whitney Hales
2007-02-22 12:39:23 · 15 answers · asked by : ) 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I am going to be a Simon.
Honestly, the poem was good. It lacks a lot, and it is a little bit short. It uses primarily imagery to get the point across. There is no rhyme scheme, which is a blessing. You might want to use a metaphor, simile, or something besides imagery in your poem.
Don't quit your day job.
2007-02-22 13:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by cooper243 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It Is wonderful!
I, personally, however would:
1)Change the such wonderful part...doesn't sound right, too plain
2) Ethereal is a great word for this, but it doesn't flow.
Good Luck!
2007-02-22 13:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by emil775 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I've never had a thing for poems. They don't make any sense to me. But I could relate to yours, and better yet understand it!
Have Fun Writing Poetry
2007-02-22 12:48:17 · answer #3 · answered by bookworm0-0 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i like your poem.
but do keep in mind that poetry.com is a scam. everybody wins and they ask you for money for the book that does not exist. they tell you you're under no obligation to buy the book, but...
2007-02-22 22:55:57 · answer #4 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's really good. Personally, I think it's the best poem I've ever read about dawn.
I, for one, am definitely going to that link you provided us with. I want to read the rest of your poems.
Keep it up!
2007-02-22 12:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont really like the "such wonderful" part. Too common. And it doesn't flow as well as you could have made it. But nice images.
2007-02-22 12:48:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lyte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is pretty good I think that with a little more work that it could be better but it is a work in progress which is good.
2007-02-22 15:23:07 · answer #7 · answered by dawn_myhamsters 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice! did u ever consider a career in poemwriting?
2007-02-22 13:07:42 · answer #8 · answered by Justin B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is really good, i like the way you used the imagry with the colors....keep up the good job and keeo on writing.
2007-02-22 12:43:09 · answer #9 · answered by ♪Starlet Rising♫ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Uh, yeah, if I were you, I'd keep writing poetry.
That poem is AMAZING!
2007-02-22 12:42:55 · answer #10 · answered by ny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋