For experts on Oscar Wilde and 'The Ballad of Reading Gaol': What is the meaning of these often quoted lines?

Question

Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!



The stanza is from 'The Ballad of Reading Gaol' by Oscar Wilde. The lines seem to be quoted quite frequently, and they have a haunting and impactful nature to them.

However, what do they mean?

I have never taken Oscar Wilde at any point in my schooling. (unfortunately)

Answer 1

O boy----
Well, you have to put these lines into the context of the poem. The poem is anti-death penalty--to put it simply (though it's much more and deeply personal to Wilde)--and specifically about a man Wilde came to know in Redaing Gaol (gaol=jail) who had murdered his wife--(I think; I've forgotten)--stabbed her in bed--thus he had killed "the thing he loved," and is "the brave man with a sword!" The part of the poem you've left out is the repeating "the man had killed the thing he loved and so he had to die." which occurs just before "Yet..." with which you've begun your quotation. The man who is going to be hanged has killed the thing he loved LITERALLY. Others do so figuratively or in a round about way--"the coward does it with a kiss" alludes to Caiaphus mentioned later in the poem (Caiaphus was the high priest who kissed Jesus letting the others of the conspiracy to kill him know who Jesus was.)
Wilde continues to list ways in which others kill the thing they loved and concludes "For each man kills the thing he loves, yet each man doesn't die."
There's a lot you really need to know about Wilde to understand this poem completely--I hope I can tell you enough for a basic understanding of these few lines.
Wilde was imprisoned for homosexuality--which was still a punishable crime in England until about 1960 (look it up), though everyone knew of the common homosexual reationships which existed among the upper-class private school boys and everyone knew that homosexulaity existed, but no everyone was punished for it--yet Wilde was punished and prison did end his life. Wilde was well loved in England: I believe he still holds the record for having the most number of plays running simultaneously in London (six;) and he was enormously popular--though when accused, the public (to a great extent) turned against him and so killed the thing they loved.
It's more complicated than that, and Wilde's arguement against the death penalty and the creulty of imprisonment is strong and persuasive.
The poem mostly deals with the long suffering of the man doomed to be executed and it is very dark, long and difficult--quite frankly, it's depressing--but we may read it in total and fogive Wilde; most of his work was incredibly funny. Go read "The Importance of Being Earnest" or any of his plays which absolutely enthralled England during his short career--and which are still being produced with great success today. Stay away from "The Portrat of Dorian Gray," though, unless you want to further persue the dark side of Oscar Wilde.
I hope I've helped--enjoy--and be careful whom you love!

Answer 2

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For experts on Oscar Wilde and 'The Ballad of Reading Gaol': What is the meaning of these often quoted lines?
Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!



The stanza is from 'The Ballad of Reading Gaol' by Oscar Wilde. The lines seem to be...

Answer 3

Ballad Of Reading Gaol