could someone pls give me some advice?

Question

I used to kind of go out with this guy and we ended things amicably and all was well . He was a lovely guy and was really well liked by pretty much everyone . But hes recently started seeing someone new and hes changed so quickly . First off hes started tkaing drugs cos his partner does , hes drinking heavily , getting himself into loads of debt and also shunning all of his other friends . im a gymnast and hes a runner so thats how we met , and hes just stopped his training and become well very self centred. Now i know that his partner has been messing around with his ex and if he found out it would destroy him . Im just scared to broach the subject because he has changed so much and im not sure how he would take me talking ot him about it . He has become so dependant on his partners friends that he hasnt talked to anyone else and im afraid that if this falls apart he will have none of his old friends to turns to . Can anyone advise me pls . Sorry for the novel and thanx in advance :)

Answer 1

I'm really sorry to hear that about your friend. Something similar happened to my bestfriend when we were younger. I was so angry and upset I couldn't even talk to her. The best you can do is to be there for him. Try to keep in contact with him, even if its tough. You can try an intervention, but those rarely go as planned. I think you need to motivate him into going back to some of his own ways, invite him jogging, or to some sort of event he would have liked to go to before this other guy met. Depending on how close you are to him, tell him point blank what is going on. It might not be what he wants to hear, and he might get mad, but he needs to hear it. I wish the best for you both.

Answer 2

First off none of this is your fault. Hes a big boy and no one forced him to chose the path he has chosen for himself here. Sometimes as hard as it is, the best thing to do is not to do anything at all. This is probably one of those cases as he will only think youre making it up and trying to destroy his relationship, especially if drugs are involved. He probably needs professional help to get out of this mess but seriousily doubt if he will listen to you. If hes taking drugs and alcohol (extremely dangerous combination) and driving, notify the authorities and they will probably pick him up, hopefully before something disasterous happens, and they will force him via the courts to get the professional help he needs. So youll get him help indirectly. But dont blame yourslef for his shortcomings. Good luck

Answer 3

as bad as his reaction may be he should know. hopefully when he knows and hopeful it ends he can get his life back on track! show him you are there to support him how ever he needs and he'll just have try get his old friends back... but that was his own fault, cant blame them if they dont want to be his friend anymore. just pick a time where he isnt drinking or anything and sit him down and explain that you dont want to hurt him but you thought he should know, nothing hurts more than being with someone who doesnt care about you enough to tell you they dont want to see them anymore. try not to get angry or upset, just tell him thr truth and listen to him. ask him if he wants to talk about it or wants to do anything about it. if he is fine with it then dont make a big deal about it. he might not want to break up with them and he maybe be able to deal with the fact his partner is cheating. dont push him. tell him if there is anyhting he needs or wants to talk to just call. show your there for him. good luck babe.

Answer 4

well i think you should start talking to him little by little become more of his friends and start helping him and not only you but you and his friends should all invite him to places it will be hard at the begining but little by little i hope a difference will show.

Answer 5

email him and tell him. Drug addicts are UN-predictable, and if he ignores you concern for him, he will have to figure it out on his own sometimes letting go is the best way to help.