How should I handle this?

Question

When me and my husband first got engaged, I was unsure if I wanted to go ahead with the marriage because I was scared of another failed relationship so I became wishy-washy with my feelings towards him. He in turn sensed this and I believe he rekindled his relationship with his ex. Well we ended up getting married and he says he hasn't talked to her and he's not aware if she knows whether or not he's married now. Here's the dilema, she has started calling his cell phone again. Should I just let him handle this situation or should I tell her he is now married just in case he hasn't. He's a very caring man and I know he doesn't want any confrontations with either her or me and he doesn't want to see any one hurt even though I know she would be if she knew. How should I handle this?

Answer 1

You should handle this, by "letting HIM, handle this!" You trust him. He's a good man, and will do the right thing! If you try to handle this, it will not be pretty. Good Luck!

Answer 2

I suggest casually letting your husband know that you are aware that she has began communication with him again and ask him to let her know that you have gotten married since the last correspondence. Let time pass and if she continues to call, ask him again if he has told her. If this continues answer the phone one time, take her message and tell her you will let your husband know.

Another thing you can do is tell your husband how it makes you feel (remember to deliver it as being about you and not him like "when she calls, I feel ...) Tell him that it would make you feel better if he would let her know unless he wants you to. Depending on how you both feel, you can even invite her over for dinner with other guests to show her you are together now.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Hello Stella,
I would let your husband handle this with her if i were you. Just be in the same room when he talks to her on the phone. He should be the one to tell her that he is married now and if he does not or will not do it then you should be the one to do it. I sure hope she finds out soon so she will leave him alone and let you guys live your life. Good luck to you:)

Answer 4

There is a lot of baggage from the beginning,She must help him feel more of a man.Some men have to lean on others to make them feel good about themselves.My marriage is going the same way.I can't be loving and tell you all good things because I saw it at the beginning and thought it would be better not.I must do something to correct the situation.My husband is laid back,Don't like trouble,Yet instead cant stand up to his responsibilities.You have to know there is trouble lurking somewhere or she wouldn't be calling.All I can say is handle your business.

Answer 5

Let her call, if he doesn't pick up the phone then you're good. She'll eventually get the hint afterwhile, if not, then I'd pick up and say that he's married and to leave YOUR family alone. Who cares if she's hurt!?!!! She shouldn't be calling a married man in the first place. Remember, don't get mad at your husband, he has no control over who calls his cell phone. I do think that your husband needs to be a man and tell her to kiss off and to leave you two alone.

Answer 6

First of all you should probably speak to your husband about it and let him know your concerned and why. Then the two of you can figure out how to handle it together. She needs to know he's married now but I think you should express your concerns to him before you do anything else going behind his back would only make it worse. Explain to him how it makes you feel good luck

Answer 7

He rekindled his relationship with his ex while engaged to you? So the next time he feels you are backing away its ok for him to run to her?!?! Have her come over, have a little chat with him and her, and lay the cards down on the table. No yelling, just talking and let everyone know where everyone stands.

Answer 8

Youre all adults here or at least I hope. Youre going to have to trust him sooner or later so start now by trusting him to handle his own affairs. You can tell him that you trust he will take care of this matter once and fore all. Its not your position to cover for him and tell her. Good luck

Answer 9

Let him tell her first. If the phones are still coming in, then you will have to take matters into your own hands! Good Luck

Answer 10

Send her a message (text) that you are is wife and you would appreciate that she not contact him now that she has this information. If she continues to contact him and he accepts her communications that would suggest to me that he is playing a very mean game on both of you for his own gratification and needs to be told about consequenses with that kind of behavior.