Why does she cry so much when she's tired? And, cluster bottle feeding question...?

Question

Why can't she just fall asleep? Besides the vacuum, white noise, etc.., what else can I do to shorten that crying process?

My other question is about cluster feeding. I bottle feed her and I'm wondering what is the best way to stop the feeding after an hour or two. She used to go 3-4 hours in between feedings, but all of a sudden, she wants sooner. Her Dr said that she can take more than 2oz at a time, but when I give her 3, she never finishes it. What the heck am I doing wrong here? The Dr also told me to not feed her until the 3 hour mark, but she will cry and cry until then. She said that I need to start the tough love. It's not the best!

Anybody have advice? I would love to know them!!! Thanks!!

Answer 1

Sounds like she's growing. Your doctor is giving out ancient advice - from when I was a baby. It didn''t really work then, it doesn't work now. My children are now teenagers, and we were told then, and ever since, to feed the baby as often as they seem to want it, espcially since they grow so rapidly.

If she is taking an hour- or more- to feed, then she is not actually eating. Consider getting her a pacifier so that she can indulge her sucking instinct without having a bottle in her mouth. Babies usually take about a half hour to actually eat. You can tell when she not actually drinking anymore if you pay close attention. Pop the bottle out and the pascifier in.

Another consideration is her formula. If you go to letting her eat when she wants, but it still doesn't seem to satisfy her hunger, consider that the type of formula is not doing it for her. MY eldest was a voracious feeder - she'd kill 16-24 ounces a day. Then the doctor figured out that she wasn't really getting any food value from it and changed her to soy. She instantly slowed down her eating, stayed satisfied longer.

Something to explore with your doctor. But bottom line, she's hungry more often because she is growing. Feed her when she is hungry. But always try the pacifier first - she may just want to suck. A truly hungry baby will spit the pacifier out within minutes and start crying again.

Answer 2

Okay, here goes.
YOU are mommy.
Doctor is NOT MOMMY.
Therefore all final decisions are YOURS.
If doctor insists on you doing things his/her way, you need a new doctor.
If you feel the need to put more time between feedings, do it gradually. Suppose she starts crying exactly an hour after the feeding. Talk, make silly faces, rock her, etc for 5-10 minutes (or as long as you and she can both handle it). Thus the next bottle is a few minutes more than an hour later. As this becomes routine (within 1-2 days, probably) she may begin to take a little (1/4-1/2 ounce) more per feeding. With a baby small enough to take only 2-3 ounces, the quarter and half ounces are still a big deal. When she takes slightly more, you can probably put the next bottle off another 10-15 minutes. Gradually you will work up to the 3 hour mark. Do consider, however, that there will be 3-7 days at a time when she will eat lots more often than whatever is 'normal' for her. This is due to growth spurts.

As for sleeping- sleeping is very hard for some babies- they want the warmth of mommy, the warmth of the womb, to feel safe. This is why the white noise helps. It reminds her of the womb. My kids' dad has always turned on a fan (facing away from the baby) in the room with them while they sleep. I hate fans, but it seems to help. You can also try having something of yours near her during naps (I used a t-shirt of mine instead of a bassinet sheet for my second son. I just slid it over the little mattress and used pins-on the underside only, of course, and the diaper-pin type that close completely- to make it fit tightly).

Lastly, trust yourself. It sounds like you care, and while caring is not the sole criteria for being a good mom, it is the most important one. If your decisions are based on her best interests, they will be good ones, no matter what your friends, your doctor, your mother-in-law, or other moms say about them. Moms have instincts- and only your own instincts are right for your child.

Answer 3

Tough love with a baby? What nonesense! Babies have needs, and we must meet their needs. Babies also have a need to suck--which is why breastfeeding works and is so comforting, because they get to be close to Mom and have lots of good suckling and eating time. Before bed is when babies are tired, but maybe not quite ready to sleep, and they are probably feeling vulnerable and just need to be held close. Try swaddling and holding close, or try a sling/front carrier to keep her close. I bet you'll find that as long as she has a full belly and has had some suckling time (is breastfeeding not an option for you?), she'll be pretty content in a nice close warm hold. Check out "Happiest Baby on the Block" for more ideas about how to create a soothing environment for baby (including "shh-ing" and rocking--basically, you're recreating the womb). Never try to force a schedule on a baby. Their needs, moods, and appetites change constantly. Going with the flow and meeting her needs will give you a happy, secure baby and a much less frustrated you! (Then when she does REALLY cry and all her needs have been met, then you know something else might be going on.)

Answer 4

Don't listen to the doctors when it comes to the subject of scheduling feedings. Your baby is crying because she needs something! She has no other way to communicate with you. She won’t be a baby forever. But while she is, give her love, and feed her when she needs it!! I have a 12 year old. When I first had her, I had NO idea what to do. The docs and my mother in-law kept telling me to keep her on a schedule. The only thing that did was make us both miserable!!!! Give that baby a bottle when she needs it. Bond with her. You know as well as I, we don’t all get hungry at the same time. We don’t get full every time. You won’t spoil this baby by giving her food or attention when she needs it. Give her the love she needs now…..and ENJOY it. She will be 12 before you know it.

Answer 5

Your doctor is an idiot.

You always feed infants ON DEMAND.

Feed your baby...I'd cry too if I was starving.

Try putting her to bed BEFORE she is over tired ...once she's screaming and exhausted...it's too late...you're in for a screaming session...

Start earlier and I just hold my son and bounce him for about ten minutes...while singing. He usually falls alseep in my arms..

Try a routine...the same thing everynight...babies are creatures are habit and they like to know whats coming...so at the same time everynight start your bedtime ritual, whatever it may be and do it the same every night...it will help.

We start at 7:30
Bath
Stories
Dim the lights, turn on the sound machine
Nursing (he usually falls asleep at this stage)
Singing and Bouncing

He's usually out by about 9 or 9:30


we do it the same everynight...and it's just getting easier and easier.

And as far as the feedings go...babies go through growth spurts too when they NEED more food and it will seem like all they want to do is feed...AND you SHOULD let them...I've never heard of a doctor who tells you to limit the feedings of an infant....Id find a new ped.

Answer 6

Your not doing anything wrong...babies usually eat every 2- 3 hours starting with 2 ounces and as they become more alert the ounces will increase.You will know if your doing everything right if your baby has 8-10 wet diapers a day. They usually don't poop till they begin to eat. But it sounds like your baby may need help relieving gas...try going to wal-mart or walgreens and buy some gas relief drops for about $11.00 and give baby 2 ml and see if this helps. Your a good mommy our you wouldn't be asking for advice :)

Answer 7

I never tried cluster feeding. But, it sounds tough.

When my son was hungry we fed him. We never deprived him of milk/formula. We never held him off for an hour because "it wasn't the right time".

I don't believe in just letting a baby cry. They are crying because something is wrong. Hungry/wet, etc.

You should shower your baby with love. Because in a few years, you'll want that precious time back soooo much.

Answer 8

because babies thrive on touch it is very important and that is part of how she bonds with you also feed that baby when she wants to eat and as much as she wants. for example my 3 week old is breast and bottle fed and she never eats the same amount in one day when i formula feed she eats 2 ozs except after she goes #2 then she will take as much as 3 1/2 ozs i let her eat what she can handle but not over due it

Answer 9

From what I can gather from your question, she is probably crying because she is hungry. This is a little baby. Feed her when she wants, not when the doctor tells you to. If your hungry, you eat. Same should be for her.

Answer 10

If she is tired and crying, then she is figting it. Hold her and sit in a rocking chair. Relax, and she will relax and fall asleep.
As for the feedings, don't deprive her of formula/milk. That is cruel! Give her as much as she will take, but don't forget to burp her.