Why do tampons still hurt?!?

Question

Im a 22 year old Af/Am woman who's been sexually active since June 2003. I have not yet to have an "O", sex is painful, and tampons are extremely painful. Do you think it's a possibility I have a tilted uterus or endometriosis? are those hereditary? My sister has endometriosis.
When my BF thrushes in deep, it feels like he's hitting a very very sensitive spot and I don't like it. Also, when i put in a tampon, i feel like there's blockage....like i cant put it all the way in. it hurts. It can't be my hymen because I've been having sex for 4 years now. It's not possible for the hymen to still not be broken, right? 2 of my past partners have both said (on own initiative) that when they have sex w/ me, they feel a bone rubbing against their penis...they say it's hurts them and it feel like I'm still a virgin. when i pull the tampon out it's extremely dry and HURTS LIKE HELL!
What is wrong w/ me?! Why cant I get an orgasm!? Please help me

Answer 1

Hmm, I'm not a doctor, but when you are infertile (when you are not ovulating), your cervix is low and hard. The guys could be hitting that and it just might be closer to the opening of the vagina than normal. It partly depends on the size of the man's penis, because a longer penis is more likely to hit your cervix.

Unfortunately, many many many doctors are not aware of subtle women's health issues like that, and you can avoid a lot of problems by knowing about your own health. I highly recommend the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler.

In my personal experience, I've had some of the same experiences that you have had. I am 29 and just starting to have orgasms with guys. Only 20% of women orgasm through intercourse alone! I asked a bunch of friends if they orgasmed during sex, and not very many of them did... Seriously, guys don't know what the hell they are doing until you get older and more assertive so that you can tell them! That could be why you aren't having an orgasm. It takes a lot of focus (which I don't have), and a lot of communication with your partner. I had some hangups that I no longer have, but it took several years to get over them (you could be self conscious of the guys hitting your cervix and that's killing your mood).

As far as the tampons go, I have the SAME problem. Sometimes I pull the tampon out and it hurts like crazy 'cause it seems like it's attached to something. That something is my cervix and perfectly normal. It hurts and I usually just grit my teeth and pull (ouch!).

Please please please check out that book Taking Charge of Your Fertility or Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. There are photos of the cervix in "Taking Charge" and it shows you how to locate it. It can definitely feel like a blockage, especially during the infertile periods of time between ovulation. Good luck!

Answer 2

If inserted correctly, tampons do not hurt at all. You can't even feel them. Also, if not inserted correctly, they will leak. Other than that, the only other way that they will leak would be when they're full. Think about it. Periods are bad enough, if tampons hurt, millions of us girls would never use them. Rarely does anyone get it right the first time. Think of it like learning to ride a bike. Did you get that right the first time? Not many do. Anyway, the most important things to remember are RELAX. If you don't, you'll tense up, making it more difficult. Be patient. Don't get discouraged and give up. It may take some time, but it will be so worth it. Oh, and never "practice" when you're not on your period. If you remove a "dry" tampon, it will be difficult and could be painful. It may seem a little overwhelming at first, but once you learn, you'll be so glad you did, Good luck.

Answer 3

Previously answered under your other post, but also wanted to add as an afterthought that Vulvar Vestibulitis may also be worth a discussion with your doc. Again, good luck to you and feel better.