what should i do stay or leave? i didn't marry for love.?

Question

MY HUSBAND LOVES ME AND MY DAUGHTER MORE THAN ANYTHING. I MARRIED HIM BECAUSE OF THAT AND BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER LOVES HIM. HOWEVER-I ALSO MARRIED TO KEEP MYSELF FROM GOING BACK TO MYEX BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT MY EX. THINGS WERE NOT GOOD WITH MY EX (DAUGHTERS REAL DAD) IS THE REASON THAT ENDED. HE WANTS ME BACK IN HIS LIFE AND I TRUELY LOVE HIM BUT I'M MARRIED TO A GREAT MAN. SHOULD I DIVORCE OR STAY AND MOVE ON?

Answer 1

oh definately leave the good man who loves you and your dtr and go back to your ex who is probably abusive and self centered...why would you want your daughter to have a good life and a "father" who loves her and is raising her well???? Hello??? Are you for real?

Answer 2

oh please tell me your not looking for a lot of positive answers here i cant understand why people treat marriage like a game do you not realize the fact is real people are involved here or what? does this poor guy you married realize he was being used as a step in dad for your daughter and a support system for you not to go back to a jerk you left in the first place? what you need to do is realize the mistake you made and ask your self why do i keep making bad choices and see if leaving to go back to someone who was bad to you in the first place would be one of them and then really think about what you have done to this poor new guy you have taken his trust and love for you and your child who it sounds like he is trying to do right by and used it like its nothing and now that something better is coming along your thinking of dumping him and then putting your child through it to probably end up right where you belong alone and hopefully your child wont suffer for the bad choices you seem to be making an i would suggest you take a long hard look at your self and grow up a little and stop playing with peoples lives in order to get what you want you will be much happier with your self in the long run!

Answer 3

You have to consider not only your feelings, but your daughter's feelings. It wouldn't be right to tear her away from your husband, who she loves and who loves her. You made a commitment to your husband, and should honor it since he sounds like a good man. That being said, the heart wants what it wants, and your heart apparently still belongs to your ex. If you cannot move on and develop love for your husband, you will probably eventually end up divorced. I don't think it's a good idea, however, especially for your daughter. But it's also unfair to your current husband to be married to a woman who doesn't love him. It's a tough decision, but I say try to stay with your husband and learn to love him.

Answer 4

I think you are caught up in the soap opera theme, I also think you should remain with your current husband, and treat him with the respect he deserves. It takes a good man to accept a woman and a child/children. It says alot about him that your daughter loves him, does she act that way towards the bio-dad? She feels comfortable, safe, cared for, accept that your life is good, why do you want to bring madness back to it? You said it wasn't good then, the only thing that changed were ages, I bet the same old issues/complaints/problems would still be there if you went back to hubby 1, and I bet it would happen faster than one would expect.

Answer 5

wow, thats a tough one to answer. You said you married to keep from going back to the ex. So why now, would you think about going back? I mean...honestly, not everyone marries for love. There are several reasons ppl get married. If this guy treats you way better, why would you want to go back to someone who wasnt? Just a thought...hope everything works out for you..Just keep in mind that ....the grass isnt always greener on the other side..

Answer 6

Well I hope that you're not thinking about going back to your ex, and just remember that your daughter's best interests should come first. She deserves a stable home/environment. Don't be selfish, you need to be honest with your husband if you don't love him..he'll find out eventually. When you became a parent you selfish needs or desires take a backseat to hers. Do the right thing.

Answer 7

So he and the adulterous whore declare to be Christians, do they now, hmmm! Adultery isn't the fruit of a Christian yet of the international. you're able to resign being superb on your husband and handle him like he treats you. divulge him and her adultery to the elders, in front of the church congregation as a witness against them! once you do, factor the finger spectacular at them and announce it rather is the reason your husband has asked you for a divorce. tell them what you instructed us here, how would not even hardship to take you for treatments and how he makes you experience. seem directly to the whore's husband and tell him how they are continually on the telephone and that he extra ideal initiate checking his spouse's telephone calls and how he would not choose you coming to this church with him. Then stroll out of that church for solid. you could on no account make your husband love you no rely what. If he quite enjoyed you, he would not of been so hateful and uncaring approximately your thoughts. true love would not harm yet nourishes and helps the liked. Your husband has no empathy, yet basically contempt for you and you're able to get up against him. God is on your facet via fact which you haven't any longer finished something incorrect. Your husband is an adulterer, you could divorce him for it.

Answer 8

If your mind and your heart don't agree, sometimes it's best to stay with the mind. So, in your case, stay with your current husband. Sounds like the ex is bad news. If you didn't marry for love, ok, if you find someone else you love in your heart and makes sense in your mind, then fine, end things with current guy, but not for the ex.

Answer 9

Frankly it seems to me you never loved you ex but he was exciting. Not an unusual thing for many women but it is destructive. You probably made matters worse by not being honest with your current hubby. You should have been, and you should have lived with him without getting married (unless he accepted your state of mind and still wished marriage).

After a lot of thought, it seems to me that other than your getting a F counselor you should approach married Fs from cultures where arranged marriages are common and if they are willing discuss how they handle initial lack of passion with husbands that are good to them. I live in an area with lots of immigrants from India and several are friends who have told me about it, although my own marital problem was falling out of love that was initially full of fire.

Answer 10

Your ex is apparently your ex for some reason. And it seems like you do have a really good thing going right now, so i say flush the memories down the drain and move on.