how do i get higher self esteem?

Question

Help please.

Answer 1

Tree ... EXCELLENT question.

Begin by trying to look inward to explore the things about yourself that are good and desirable. I'm sure there are many and in a short time I'm sure you'll discover them if you'll just take a look.

Next, look at others you know and take careful notice of their flaws. When I was younger, I did the opposite and didn't even realize it was hurting and saddening myself. I could only see the nice, pleasant, and cool things about others and I constantly asked myself why I wasn't like them. However, life soon taught me that I DID have many positive qualities and I learned to build upon them. And as I took better notice of other people's flaws, I rejoiced in realizing that I didn't have the same problems that they had.

It was kind of a balancing act, so to speak. All this helped me to have a more positive outlook on my daily living. The result was that I became much more accepting of myself and it helped me to place myself and my surroundings (i.e., other people) in a better perspective.

The result/outcome? I USED to think I was nearly at "the bottom." Now, though, as remarkable as it may seem, I feel I'm much, much closer to the "top."

By the way ... "Top" does not mean winning American Idol or having as much money as Bill Gates. If we measured success in THAT manner, everyone with less money than Bill Gates would have to kill themselves, I guess. No, it doesn't work that way, of course.

"Top" means having control and realizing that you've got many great things going for yourself. The only thing missing is that you haven't discovered them yet, but I feel you soon will. And as I mentioned earlier, although I'm not suggesting that we should put others down for their faults, you can still look at others and say to yourself, "That guy/gal is a little messed up ... I'm glad I don't have THAT problem."

So ... sorry for the long story ... But it begins with realizing you've got a lot of good things going on inside you. Exploit the good, minimize the bad, learn from the mistakes of others, and I think you'll be on the right track.

Also, I've revised my answer and added this: Don't forget what's really important to you. As you read on, you may think I'm trying to preach religion to you, but that would not be correct. All I'm saying is that if you begin to think you NEED everything they advertise on TV ... if you're sad because you don't have the biggest TV on your block ... if having an old car makes you feel inadequate ... if you let THESE types of things weigh you down, it's time for a major reassessment. We CAN'T all be wealthy and always, always trying to be the best and greatest at EVERYthing can only contribute to your frustrations. As I once told someone else: "Must you always demand the newest, greatest, and biggest of everything? When do you take a break?"

What I mean is this: Instead of always worrying about things you DON'T have, you need to take a break and enjoy/celebrate over the things you DO have.

I don't want to mention any names; it's not necessary. But just think about famous names you've seen in the news. They have MILLIONS ... sometimes BILLIONS ... Yet, they act like fools or do stuff to themselves that clearly shows they're as crazy as the rest of us ... maybe even crazier!

So rest assured that it's not money or big/expensive things that you need; you just need to realize that the greatness you need is really hiding somewhere inside of yourself. You MUST begin with that premise ... or else life will forever be a race to get somewhere, but as you grow older and wiser, you'll eventually realize that all the racing, chasing, and trying has really been for nothing.

Good luck, Tree.

Answer 2

People with low self-esteem usually believe that they are stupid or weak or clumsy or ugly or _______(fill in the blank).

Whatever it may be, you have somehow convinced yourself that you have some pretty serious shortcoming(s), and once this belief takes hold it can be extremely difficult to shake. And these kinds of negative beliefs start to overshadow whatever good traits or abilities we might actually possess--we tend to discount or ignore the good and focus pretty exclusively on the bad.

Trying to just talk or think yourself out of this state of affairs usually doesn't get you very far, because you tend to be so convinced that the negative beliefs about yourself are TRUE.

So making lists of your good points, or trying to tell yourself things like "I'm not really all that bad," usually gets you nowhere fast.

What it really takes to develop higher self-esteem is to DO something that you can start feeling good about. You can't just THINK yourself to a state of better self-esteem--you have to actually get up and DO something about it.

So you need to experiment a bit, and try some different things out, until you hit upon something that catches your interest. And then you need to get yourself really involved in it, so that you have an opportunity to enjoy yourself with it, get better and better at it, and maybe even run into some other people who also share this interest.

The bottom line is: DO something that allows you to gradually start feeling good about yourself--this can't fail to help build up your self-esteem!

Answer 3

goodness... can you think of things that you like about yourself? Make a list, ask friends to tell you something that they like about you. I know that asking someone for a compliment is awkward, but you don't have to ask them that plainly- work it into a conversation.
Think of the things that you have done well- a school project, a summer business or job.
Make a point of finding one thing (it can be small) that you did well that day, or a cool shirt you found, or a picture you took or drew that turned out well- find something good about your day, and maybe keep a list.
I don't know if this was the type of advise you were looking for, but I hope it helps.
There are self-help books you could check out from the library, or buy at the bookstore with different techniques for building self esteem, they might have something that would work for you.
Good luck! :)

Answer 4

Focus on your positive atributes. Acknowledge that beyond the coolest exterior, the most beautiful and successful person also feels like he doesn't measure up in some regard. Everyone has something about themselves they'd wish they could change - something that makes them feel bad about themselves, but you shouldn't let that small part of you overshadow all of your good qualities, of which I'm sure you have many. If there's something in particular that makes you experience low self esteem, if it's something that could be changed and would not endanger your health and wellbeing and the wellbeing of those involved, then by all means make an attempt to change yourself and become that person you wish you were. Instead of viewing yourself as a victim, realize that you have options and you have the power within you to break out of whatever limitations you've been experiencing. If you have some hobbies you enjoy, like music, art, writing, etc....make an account on a website which will allow you to post your creations and you will receive positive feedback from people which will make you feel more confident in yourself. (Sites like myspace, Deviantart, cafepress, etc...). If it's your weight that has got your confidence down, start working out and eating better. If it's your hair you don't like - change it. If you want to become more outgoing, start going out with your friends more. Whatever you want to do - you can. Everyone has something they are unhappy with about themselves, but despite of it we all know that it's ok - no one is perfect, but your true friends and loved ones love you as you are and accept you. Remember, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind.

Answer 5

Take a notepad, divide it in half noting what you admire about yourself and on the other side what you don't like and then find ways to improve. Improve on how you dress. It does not hurt to applaud yourself once in a while. Self affirmation/acceptance is a stimulus for better self esteem.

Answer 6

Look in the mirror and find one good thing about yourself and compliment yourself on it. Then on paper, write about all the good attributes you have, such as "I'm a loyal friend I love animals. I help my parents whenever I can. Things you've done in the past that you are proud of and things you are doing right now to make a better future. Don't be dismissive of small stuff because all small stuff added together makes one big thing and that is you

Answer 7

Do you exercise? I swear when I make exercise a regular routine - my self esteem is way up! You feel better and look better - what a combination.

Nothing like losing 5 pounds to make you a new person! :)

Answer 8

i do no longer decide my very own self-worth through fact i do no longer pay interest to my very own op pinion approximately myself whilst i'm nevertheless uncertain relating to the op pinion of those around me. i'm guard approximately myself whilst i glance lower back on my existence and say that I incredibly have found out relating to the main intense issues of existence, and that i pay attention to no person that has no longer reached that information. My shallowness is a judgment of myself, yet how ought to I try this manner of shock whilst i'm in no place to decide somebody else.

Answer 9

Find the incongruity between how you view yourself and how others descibe you as a person.

Some people use this: write at least one good thing about yourself every day.

Answer 10

Challenging yourself, pushing yourself, and trying new things.

I recommend working-out in a gym and/or running/jogging for an increasing amount of distance three-four times a week.