I have been married for about 2 1/2 years. Sometimes it is great other times not so great. Since I have been married my husband has told that he wants a divorce more times than I can remember. He will also tell me that he wants me to move out. Usually, a couple of days after this big blow up he decides that he didnt mean any of it and he doesnt want me to leave. So this happen again about two weeks ago and he told me that he wanted me to leave and he wanted a divorce again, but this time he started to "help" me pack...and he said that he was serious this time. So on monday I found an apartment that I can move into and finished packing this week, and I plan on moving on this weekend. Well last night he told he didn't want me to go and he wants to keep trying. I don't know what to do?? Part of me wants to leave, but then I'm afraid to be on my own again. I feel like if I stay he will just do this again in a couple of months.
2007-02-22 10:09:50 · 28 answers · asked by Kelly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We don't have any children..
2007-02-22 10:17:50 · update #1
We haven't gone to therapy together, but I have gone by myself
2007-02-22 10:20:39 · update #2
I say call his bluff. Unfortunately sometimes it takes you actually leaving for them to realize what they had and took for granted. When he comes home to an empty house and you and all of your things are gone, it will hit him. I don't know why, but sometimes men just don't get it until you take drastic measures to make them see. Some time apart may do you both some good, think of it is a "separation". It doesn't mean that you have to start down the divorce path, but maybe the two of you could try some counseling and see if that helps.
Hopefully he will realize that what he is doing is hurting you and will do what he needs to do to change his behavior. Sometimes they just need a house to fall on them before they wake up! Good luck, I hope the two of you can find your way back to each other!
2007-02-22 10:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Meadow Soprano 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have painted yourself into a corner in this situation. The unfortunate part is, depending on where you live, the laws protect her and her family. The question is did she ever contribute to paying for anything such as utilities or groceries? Did you exchange money with her or her family with the understanding that the money was to go towards her staying there. If the answer is no to either what you have is a gratuitous guest and you don't need a court order for her to leave. If the answer is yes then you have to go through the process of evicting her and this could take months and in the mean time you will have to put up with her and her family. Hope this helps you out.
2016-05-24 00:06:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you stay or go is totally up to you, if it were me he wouldn't be playing these games. (which is exactly what he is doing). Had my ex said he wanted a divorce two and a half years into the marriage he wouldn't need to help me packI would have been gone before he reailized I was gone. You need to find out WHY you are afraid to be on your own again. Is it because you think you can't live without a man? Trust me...you can. Especially if it's a man who plays mind games, and he is going to contiue to do so throughout your marriage, it's never going to stop. So, are you willing to put up with the way things are or not?
2007-02-22 10:20:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The constant threat of divorce is being used as a weapon against you. It's working, so he'll keep on using it.
If you choose to give it another shot, do not do so without hearing him commit to marriage counseling.
If you'd rather just be over it, move on.
You can't lose either way.
Lastly- Please don't be afraid to be on your own. With all you've learned from this relationship, you've never been better prepared to take on the world. If you don't have the strength to be independent, you'll have a much harder time gaining the respect you require to make a relationship work. If the other person in your relationship knows you don't have the means to make it on your own, he'll use this against you, too. Be strong, have faith in yourself, and know you can make it with or without him.
2007-02-22 10:16:55 · answer #4 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doe you have a friend or family member you can stay with for a short time? If so, do that for a while. The hubby may get serious if he sees you are. You don't need this treatment 24/7. If he has issues with you he should come right out and state them so you two can work them out. If he won't...well then let HIM ask for the divorce.
2007-02-22 10:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by TOM K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No Kids? No problem. Ditch this loser before you make another mistake and have kids.
Don't listen to all these women about their sacred marriage bunk and vows. You only have a short time on this rock and if this dude is not happy with you or you are not happy with him, just leave.
Better get going while the going is good.
And NEVER EVER EVER get married again. It is a bad idea that too many people are suckers for.
2007-02-22 10:35:41 · answer #6 · answered by Joe B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you stay you he is going to say it over and over again. So here why don't you sit him down and have a long talk and ask him straight up if he wants to leave and if he wants to be with you, If he says yes and that he didn't mean what he said then tell him if he keeps playing with your mind by saying that you are really going to leave and if he says is again that shows he doesn't want you to stay and leave because you warned him. No matter how he beggs leave that will teach him.
Jewel T
2007-02-22 10:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this could almost be my marriage in it's first 2 years. I would say, yes, you should move out. That way you can have some time to figure out if you really want to continue on like this and if he really wants to make it work, and you do make it work, I gurantee he will never say move out again. Moving out would give you both time to reflect on the relationship and figure out in a clearheaded environment, without all the emotions of an argument, what you want to do.
2007-02-22 10:17:21 · answer #8 · answered by Just another opinion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wanted you there a 100% he wouldn't tell you to leave- ever. Even in the midst of an argument. If you stay, he will do it again. Have you guys seek couples therapy? it might help.
As far as fear of being alone it is normal but don't surrender to have an unhappy life out of fear. You will get used to being on your own with time!
2007-02-22 10:17:11 · answer #9 · answered by Maria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you mean that much to him, I would ask him to go to terapy with you, if not I would move into the apartment until he makes a change for the better, he needs to respect you, I am not saying to leave him for good, all I am saying is that he needs a lesson, it may be best for both of you to be apart for a little while, I dont know the whole situation, I am just trying to help you the best that I can......please pray.....Jesus loves you
2007-02-22 10:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋