what do you think of my poem?

Question

Where has time gone in to the wind perhaps? Where has love gone has cupid gone? Where does the universe go into a black hole of an eternity of time? Time itself escapes our grasp, time being the very thing that sews our memories together so that we may remember those happier times of innocence. Love has it sunk to the depths like the titanic has it risen and taken new light. Thou should cherish the moments thou has. Be it friends be it family time waits for no one. Should you forget times memories should you forget why thou lives in the eyes of the heavens then thou has lost track of thy self and should stop lest anymore time slip away into the winds of eternity.


I have to turn a poem into my class it had to be like oldschool mixed with newschool

Answer 1

I like the wording, but perhaps the placement could use some tweaking, but overall its, aiight!

Answer 2

I've only read a few lines and I can tell that your punctuation is terrible. Also, you need to separate the lines into stanzas somehow!

Answer 3

You begin with '...wind..." and you end with '..wind..'.

Too much 'wind'!