Butch or Femme ...how to define Lesbians ????

Question

Rosie O'Donnell...Ellen DeGeneres..?? Are they butch or femme?? Does the lesbian community have guidelines to label someone as being femme or butch ???

Answer 1

I usually don't like to label others, but rather let them label themselves if they so choose, but if I was hard-pressed to judge, I'd say Ellen was a very soft butch (she doesn't wear dresses or anything overtly feminine, doesn't act "girly") and Rosie a sort of split- definitely butch in behavior, but actually quite feminine sometimes in appearance (makeup? longer hair?). Neither of them are real butches in the way I'd define a butch.

As for guidelines to labeling someone, well, this is actually a pretty hard question to answer!

Within the lesbian community, it's actually hard enough to answer "What's a butch?" and "What's a femme?", let alone the subtler categories of "What's a soft butch?". Seriously, if you go to any online lesbian forum, you will find a bevy of people who identify themselves by these terms, but still actively explore and debate the meanings of them. It's a sort of "you'll know it when you see it" sort of attitude; we all know what a butch is . . . we just seem to have difficulty defining it. What are the parts of a butch? At what point is someone a soft butch, and when do they finally cross over into the realm of androgyne, or even femme?

Such are the complications you get from a relative, sliding scale of masculinity and femininity.

Basically, if you want the simplest answer out there, a butch is more masculine in appearance and behavior. A soft butch is less masculine and more feminine, while still having an overall masculine energy. A femme, of course, is someone who is very girly and feminine. How you choose to define 'masculine' and 'feminine' are really still difficult to pin down. Is a butch who likes to bottom and be submissive (sexually) being feminine, or do such sexual preferences not amount to a gender identity (personally, I don't think they do). Is it all about style- men's clothing and whatnot? (Personally, I don't think it is). In order to be a hard butch, do you have to swear and fart and belch and open doors for women?

Basically, nobody really has the answers. I always think the best way to find this sort of thing out is to ask a person how THEY identify themselves. It's certainly better than assuming incorrectly. But overall, very masculine is always butch, and very feminine is usually femme.

Hope that helps!

Answer 2

to a factor I trust you, in spite of the reality that the way you costume does, to three degree impression your character. Granted, i in my opinion have under no circumstances fallen into absolutely everyone field or label. i've got not got any affinity in direction of being the two "butch" or "femme." i'm in simple terms me. i'm my important different's lover, my mom's daughter and my son's mom. I do lots of the procuring through fact I do lots of the cooking. I take out the trash, yet then all of us share that chore. I build the cabinets and prepare the fixtures that say "assembly required" through fact i in my opinion examine the instructions! i will substitute the oil, yet opt to no longer. i will substitute the brakes, yet do no longer consistently have the time. My important different is in simple terms as waiting to do each thing i will do, in simple terms she's shorter and calls on me to realize issues she can't. Does this make the two human beings extra or much less "butch" or "femme?" i do no longer think of it makes us the two one.

Answer 3

do there have to be guidelines? Does society always have to classify a person? Most people, (note: i say PEOPLE, not just lesbians) are too complex to be put into one category. judge a person only on their character, but don't classify them.