My husband is no long aroused by my apperence anymore and I am not sure what do do I need an opion..Am I ugly?

Question

We had a baby 5 month ago I am smaller now then before the baby...5'3 127lbs and hell I am always still trying to find time for him despite our crazy scheduals. This is both our second marriage and we both have two kids from our prior marriages and we always had an active sex life (active as you can with kids running around). I don't just miss the sexual part I miss just being lovable period. I miss the small stuff just as much and I lately its all be one sided and it sorta hurts. I find myself feeling grose like its the way I look maybe he is already bored I don't know I try to pay extra attention to my looks the I normally do and I still find myself crying because its not good enough. I use to be proud of my looks 3 kids and still wearing a size 6 jeans! Hell I get told all the time I look good for that many kids just not by the one I want to hear it from the most. I am not a guy so I don't know how it works maybe it not me maybe its he is tired or stressed but its such a fear.

Answer 1

Ugly? That's a tough one, because more often than not, we're our own worst critics. I've looked in the mirror before and thought to myself, "Gee, I look like ***"...ONLY to go out and about and be told I was the cutest thing on two legs.

The harsh reality here is this, Sweetie: how you feel about yourself, has a direct effect on how your husband sees you. Self esteem is so vital to maintain and we can never EVER depend on others to make us feel better about ourselves. Sure, emotional support and positive reinforcement help a great deal.

Take a good look at yourself...but from the inside out. Have you gained weight? If so, what are the core reasons? What are you eating and more importantly, what's eating you? Have you lost interest in your (and I hate this phrase) "wifely duties"??? Have you not felt like doing some of the things you once liked to do as a couple? I'm talking about going out and doing things. If not, could you be depressed?

Let me get all Forrest Gump on you here, Sister and tell you that ugly is as ugly does. Our brain is such a treasure trove of concepts. We can change our lives, simply by altering our thoughts. In addition, you have to have a commitment to change all the things you need to change within and those thigns which are external.

And lastly, let's not forget about Mr Man. Is your husband doing everything HE can to make himself as attractive to you as possible? I refuse to let women take the rap, because sometimes guys looks their looks too and one day you look over at the throne that the dashing Prince Charming once during the days when he royally swept you off your feet.

Well, that was 15 years ago and now the throne is a beat up lazy boy and that princely crown has been replaced by a receeding hair line and a gut that resembles a woman's third trimester.

If you make changes in your life, do so to please yourself. Lose weight for you....change your hair style for you. Get a little Botox...FOR YOU!!!! Be good to you and above all, please love yourself. Your husband won't be able to control himself.

A little Viagra probably wouldn't hurt him either.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is change things up. He's most likely just bored with the same thing all the time. Put a little money aside and go pamper yourself. Maybe get your hair done, buy a sexy new outfit. Maybe even just a new perfume.

A couple small changes to spice things up here and there could be the trick.

Answer 3

While I have no idea what you look like, I am certain that if he was aroused by you once he still will be. Sounds like the two of you need to go out and have some fun together. Get away from home for a couple of days and get those fires burning again. The embers are still there, we sometimes just get complacent with our partners and shouldnt. If he found you attractive once, I promise you he still does. Shake him up a little and get back what you two once had.

Answer 4

He just probably fell out of in love experience you had...
It is showtime then;
do with him what you used to do when you were dating; take him a walk to the park, take him to lunch during his day at work, write him love letter with word of appreciate in it. Touch him often, also non sexual way!
Focus on positive things.
Ask him how was his day. Ask if there is anything he wants to talk about...
It may be possible too that he is involved to another woman (or man); know where he spends his money and time away from you...
Best wishes!

Answer 5

Leave, it's great that he let you know these dark feelings before he acted on him. Be grateful he let you know and LISTEN to him and leave and give him the time to work things out. There was that man years ago that stabbed his 3 yr old twin girls to death, he was bi-polar and he ignored the voice in his head that told him to hurt/kill someone, so don't wait for something like that to happen. If you have children please leave immediately. Keep communication up with your hubby but get yourself away from him now!

Answer 6

You are not ugly. A lot of sexual response is mental. If he is under work pressure or stressed by the baby he may not be feeling up to it. You may also be telling him with your body language that you are not interested.

Answer 7

How would you know that.....did he say that? If he did, he's an azz. He could just be preoccupied with work, etc. Smell good and wear something hot that is totally different from what he's seen you wear before. Let him think you have a secret admirer.

Answer 8

we dont know what you look like have you gained wieght maybe got wrinkles etc try working out to get a fit bod unless you already ahve one cut back on sex so after your body is kickin you can arouse him!!

Answer 9

You want somebody who is aroused 24/7 ?

Answer 10

hello i presume you look very good but i will tell you the very honest i have never seen what you do actually look like but im very curious my self if there is any way that ican see so i can tell you my self how good you look so i would know